Nothing can ruin this day...

...my trip to Italy is paid off...now we're just in money saving mode for bringing back a few cases of wine...

Detective Emma

So...after a slew of films from my friends I decided to put my Stanley Kubrick skills to the test and create a little series of films for my friends known as the HutofEvil (aka the HoE) for the holidays and I've decided to share them with you...mind you I did these at about 1 in the morning which explains why we go from Part 7 to Part 9 with no Part 8 at all...consider that to be the lost episode that will be recovered in about 20 years like some of the old Miami Vice episodes....

Enjoy

Detective Emma Part 1
Detective Emma Part 2
Detective Emma Part 3
Detective Emma Part 4
Detective Emma Part 5
Detective Emma Part 6
Detective Emma Part 7
Part 8 -- The Lost Episode
Detective Emma Part 9
Detective Emma Part 10

No. They. Did. Not...

Oh. My. God.

They killed Mel.

Mel.

Of all people.

I mean talk about total shock. This is borderline INSANE! They gave her such a good subplot earlier this season and then just...BOOM! They knock her off. I'm in shock.

Someone. Anyone. Please tell me they saw this episode and are as stunned as I am.

Holiday Round Up

I didn't do a damn thing this weekend but sleep, watch tv, read, research investments, and talk to the family ONLY on Christmas evening when they would be their most tired and their least likely to drag me into their drama.

That was a success.

After the annual family drama at Thanksgiving, I was kinda glad to not be there this year and just do my own thing. Not that I don't love my family but I don't like getting dragged into their mess (namely my grandmother dragging me into it) every year...

There's only so much you can take...right?

Theatre Games

Next time you're at a show take a moment to play my favorite game...it's sort of like Where's Waldo but is a bit more risque:

Find the members of the cast who...

1) Are sleeping together...
2) Have slept together but don't anymore...
3) Will sleep together before the end of their run...
4) Will sleep together after the opening night party (if you're in previews)...
5) Hate each other's guts...
6) Hate the director's guts...
7) Hate the writer's guts...
8) Hate themselves...
9) Hate the audience...

Even the worst show is much more enjoyable once you start playing...

Tokyo, here I come!

I just got interviewed on the street by a Japanese news crew about the 2004 election. Considering that I made most of my sarcastic remarks right into the camera and left more of the serious stuff to the reporter woman, I have a scary thought that if I do air in Japan I'm going to appear as a deranged, crazed bald American and somehow become a cult hero.

Next thing you know I'll have my own Japanese variety show. It's title translated from Japanese would be something along the lines of "Crazy Bald Man Happy Sushi Hour"

If you see Japanese tourists walking around New York with my face on their shirts then know that I am a god to them...

After all this time...

...how well do you know me? Or think you know me...

Click here and see how well you do...

(And don't worry about that HutofEvil thing...you wouldn't understand :) )

Good Morning, Charlie

Yesterday a friend of mine made the comparison to three of us as Charlie's Angels and which one did he say I was...

"Brian is the slutty blonde one....and Jorge is the sexy Jacklyn Smith one....so that leaves me the brown haired dorky one?....smile..."

The slutty blonde one??? Farrah? Me???

I mean I always thought of myself as the Sabrina type for that very reason...because I was always the brown haired dorky one (okay at least when I had hair) and the fact that it was always Sabrina who was bailing out the other two bimbos when they got themselves in trouble. Come on...think about it...who was the one that was saving Farrah when they were at the evil resort spa and they were going to suffocate her with a eucalyptis wrap?

Sabrina.

Who was the one that figured out the evil plot with the assassin figure skaters who were going to take out some foreign big wig?

Sabrina.

I don't think I need to go any further...

Apparently, I have this slutty quality about me that either I don't recognize, realize, or use to its fullest potential.

Or so I was told.

Just call me Farrah I guess.

Two Thousand Four/Two Thousand Bore

This year started off with a lot of promise after ending last year on a major downer note (fire, apartment gone, clothes that smell of smoke, asshole landlords), kinda picked up in the beginning of the year with the love life which then went south in the summer and picked back up again when SkiGuy and I started going out again.

Now it's back down and has been there for quite some time.

Dissastified with work. I need a new job doing what I want to do rather than what I'm doing now. If I only knew what I wanted to do.

Dissatisfied with my love life. I'm tired of having to call SkiGuy because he's too wrapped up in work or other things (primarily work though) to call me, make time for me, or anthing. SuitMan is no more and I'm at peace with that. And the only other guy that I was even somewhat interested on that same level (rather than the casual dating I was doing earlier this year) turned out to not be interested in me after all despite the advice from friends that what they saw was interest on his part. Or at least that's what I've been told. And not by him. And to top it all off, I'm not in the mood to actually find out or even want to find out.

Dissatisfied with my current financial situation. I can at least say that I'm working to rectify this one...we'll see how successful I am.

But I am thankful for things...I have a roof over my head. I have clothes on my back. I have food in my stomach. I have friends I can lean on for support in time of need. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am lucky and blessed to have what I have and not complain about what I don't or what I haven't tried to change.

This is one of those times.

Santa Claus Letters Update

Some of you have asked if you could help out this holiday season with my rugby team's annual participation in Operation Santa Claus sponsored by the US Post Office.

The answer to that is: OF COURSE YOU CAN!!! Do you think I'm going to turn away any holiday cheer this year?

Just click the donation link in this post and you can make a direct donation of any size you want to the drive...we're going shopping this weekend so all of the money will help and all goes towards providing a better holiday to some deserving families.

Here's a summary of the families we have adopted this year:

Ferraras Family

Allan, 5 years old. Size 6/7 in clothes and 13 in shoes. Likes Spiderman and loves to play video games.

Edwin, 7 years old. Size 9/10 in clothes and 3 in shoes. Likes to read and play video games.

Jessica, the mother, age unknown. Did not put down anything for herself but she just started going to college to get her Bachelors in Internal Medicine. Our dream is that if anyone happens to have an old laptop that they are not using, haven't used in forever, and is just sitting on a shelf in a closet gathering dust since you upgraded to the new model and are willing to donate it to Jessica, this would really and truly be a great thing for her. Second on that list is that we may provide an American Express gift card to her in order to help pay for books and supplies for the coming semester.

Fanny, Givan, and Austin (no last name provided for family but we can track them down)

Givan, 7 years old. 8/9 in clothes and 4 1/2 in shoes. Loves video games and Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

Austin, 4 years old. 6/7 in clothes and 1 in shoes. Loves Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk

Fanny, the mother. No age or size info on her, but we do know that she is a single mother working two jobs to make ends meet for her kids and is refusing public assistance because she wants to do it on her own.

Luciano Family

Adrian, 7 years old. 7/8 in clothes and 1 1/2 in shoes.

Patricia, 15 years old (and the person who wrote this letter). Size Small in clothes and 1-3 in pants. Shoe size 6.

The mother (name and age unknown). Size Medium in clothes, and pants 5-6. Shoe size 7 1/2.

Blonde Joke of the Day -- Holiday Style

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of sub-zero temperatures a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"


And should we all be stocking up on copies of this soon??? I want to go to the book signing party!

P.S. Love the cover...

Kinda pissed

Who saw Jonathan fucking SHOVE his wife during the last part of The Amazing Race last night? I fucking hate that man. Isn't that akin to spousal abuse? Someone has tried to make me believe that he was really pushing her bag but I'm sorry he was really pushing her...he just couldn't physically put his hands on her...

The man is a freak and I'm so glad that Phil refused to even talk to him and told him to go take care of his wife who was bawling her eyes out...

You know you're ready...

...for the week to be over when you go to your chiropractor's office for your appointment and realize that you're early.

Very early.

An entire day early.

Yeah...can I go home now?

Overheard Conversation of the Day

Person 1: Well, even Susan Lucci eventually won her Emmy.

Person 2: Yeah, but it took her like 20 times didn't it?

Person 2: Oh. Right. (pause) Yeah, I don't think he could wait that long.

Time to reboot

I may be taking a little time away...I dunno...I just know I need to rethink a lot of things...don't worry I'll let you know before it happens....

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

I am having really weird dreams as of late.

Last night there was a woman with a major facial hair problem. No, it wasn't that she was a man masquerading as a woman...she really was a woman.

Then there was the dream where I was caught by my mother having sex with a guy and decides that everyone else is going to sleep in that room with me. Why? I have no clue.

Then there was the dream where I couldn't find my shoes. That was the entire dream. I can't find my shoes.

Maybe I need to start smoking crack again.

Depressing Reading

Every year the rugby team "adopts" a couple of families at Christmas through the Santa Claus project via the US Post Office to help provide a Christmas to an under-privileged child.

One of the guys on the team works with a similar project at his office and offered to let us peruse a few of the letters he had rather than heading down to the post office after work. At lunch I read through all of the letters we had been provided and felt bad because there was just no way in hell that the team (or anyone else for that matter) is going to be able to get some of the things these people want...

There were at least three pleas for computers or laptops. Two people asked for Game Cubes or an XBox. There were a couple of MP3/CD player requests as well. I know it's kind of a "shoot for the moon" thing when people write these letters but I feel bad because there are kids who REALLY want these things and you can practically hear the begging and...well...it made me sad. I hope there's someone out there with the deep pockets to help them out with what they want but I don't think it's going to be us...

Of course, the fact that we're actually going to be giving them gifts rather than sending them back letter saying, "Santa died last week" or "Santa doesn't like you" as suggested by one Scrooge (although a lovable one at that) is a good thing....

Subway Suffering

If you've lived in NYC for a while you know...you just KNOW when someone is going to try to cut in front of you to get on the stairs so they can exit just a second ahead of you. You know the way they position their bodies and how they stand just so if you hesitate for a second they can swoop in and take that small space that you've somehow made available to them.

This happened to me this morning. Of course it happens every morning but today we have an exception. As I'm heading to the escalator's fast lane (the left side for the uninitiated), this woman was clearly trying to cut in ahead of me. Deciding that I didn't want to physically harm the woman by blowing by her at top speed so I paused and motioned for her to move in ahead of me. We'll call this woman Pink Lady because or the color of her raincoat and not because she resembled a mid-70s female Japanese singing duo who had a horrible variety show in the US.

Pink Lady: Thank you.

646Guy: You were going to do it either way.

Pink Lady: No I wasn't. Did you think I was being rude. I wasn't being rude. Maybe you haven't had your morning coffee.

646Guy: Maybe you need to let me enjoy the remainder of my commute to work in peace.

Of course, that's where it should have ended. I say should have because after this point I didn't say another word. It was the lovely black woman behind me who took up my cause on her own accord. We'll call this woman Sassy McSasserson because if there was ever a sassy black woman it was her...

Sassy: TOLD YOU!

Pink Lady: What?

Sassy: He told you!

Pink Lady: I wasn't being rude...

Sassy: Lady, you know what it looks like when people are going to cut in front of you on the stairs and I know what it looks like when people are going to do it to you and you know damn well you were doing it so stop giving us the holier-than-thou-my-shit-don't-stink routine because it ain't gonna work.

By this point we were at the top of the escalator and Pink Lady was as pink as her raincoat and I was grinning like an idiot because, granted, I didn't get the peace that I had requested, but I did get to hear Pink Lady get shut down and rather effectively.

And that, my folks, helped make my morning...

How About Giving Yourself Heart Attack?

I just emailed my votes in for the new slate of rugby board members and for some reason a copy of it landed in my inbox. For a second I thought I had emailed it to the entire team but it just went the person it was supposed to go to but I wonder why I got a copy of it...

As far as I know it didn't go out to the entire team but we shall see...

Pause to remember

Did anyone else notice...

...that Mary Alice's husband first hit Mrs. Huber with the blender she stole from Mary Alice after she died (in the first episode) before he strangled her???

Gotta love it...

Promising...

I got an email a few minutes ago telling me that a slate of free tix to see
'night Mother with Edie Falco and Brenda Blethyn were available and if I wanted in. Who do I call?

Mr. Swoonage.

Mind you, before Thanksgiving he was open to doing dinner so calling him up to see if he was interested in seeing the show wasn't so far removed of a step considering that he and I had discussed theatre before with different shows that we had seen. On the good side, he was very interested in going to see the show (and I could only hope that his interest in seeing me as well would be equal to that of the show as well) but he couldn't commit as he had a work event that evening but he would try to get out of it but he wouldn't know for another hour.

Sadly, though, the block of tickets evaporated and I had to email him that they were gone but if another slate came up would he be interested...

As for SkiGuy...we were going to try to get together last Saturday but that fell through and he said he would call so we can set something else up. I'm going to be good though...I'm going to make him call me this time...

IM Conversation of the Day

GothamGuy: Well maybe you could play footsie with him under the table?

646Guy: How about I re-enact that scene from Footloose where Jennifer Beals puts her foot in Michael Nouri's crotch and then gives head to the lobster?

GothamGuy: You NASTY!

God I love being right....

....it was Mrs. Huber's stationary after all..........somehow I just knew it...I just knew it was hers...

Poor Edie...and to think she was almost killed.....

I'm supposed to be happy right....

....I'm with my family right? (And yes, for the record, I do love my family...)

I'm supposed to be enjoying my time away from the office?

So why the hell am I counting the days until I'm back in New York? Why is that 6:30AM Saturday flight looking so appealing to me now?

2 It's not a visit to the family...

...until you tell Grandma where to shove it...

Only took 38 hours...a new record...pray for me people....

Pray for me...

My family only has...gasp...dial up connections...how will I live???

One night in...I'm...well I made it through one night...we'll see what happens next...

Quote of the Day

I'm leavin' on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again... -- qritten by John Denver, sung by Peter, Paul and Mary

Heading off to Florida to see the family for Thanksgiving. We'll see what Tennessee Williams play I'm walking into when I get there...

SkiGuy v. Swoonage

I have dinner plans set with Swoonage when I get back into town.

As for SkiGuy, if he would stay in the country more, we could see each other more often. And, when he is in the country, our schedules haven't meshed so that we can see each other. I'm trying to be understanding and considerate because he's enjoying his work and his family has gone through some medical problems as of late but at the same time I'd like to see him a bit more often.

My last message to him told him that he was missed and he called me back FROM THE PLANE (as in actually on the plane) before take off to return back to Canada. You can't really discount things like that...

We're trying. I'm trying...

Quote of the Day

It's like experimenting with drugs. You just keep playing with it and it becomes customary. ... If it's OK to dress like a girl today, then why is it not OK in the future. -- Delana Davies in her complaint against a small East Texas school district's TWIRP day.

Don't get me started....

Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice?

I can't bear the thought...

Quote of the Day

There must be more to life than having everything. -- Maurice Sendak

Color me surprised...

I promise when I'm thinking more clearly and not as tired I'll write about this weekend's rugby tournament but something happened at the post-match drink up that really made me rethink how I look at people...or at least one person...

One of the guys on the team...well...let's just say that he was never high on my list of "get to know" people and it might have been from his demeanor and/or actions, but I never really made the effort to talk to him or get to know him. Even he said that he can be or appear standoffish (and that's his word not mine). Last night, I was working the door at the drink-up when he came up to me and said, "I know you don't hear this nearly enough as you should but all of the work you do for the team is really what keeps us running and I know you don't get enough thanks for the work you do but I just want you know that we all appreciate it."

From there we started talking about perceptions and our varying "work" for the team before we started goofing around with each other and pretty much having a lot of fun with each other (and not in that way although we did have one hysterical sex joke between the two of us). As I sat in the cab on the way home I was still going over our conversation in my head and how really and truly honored I felt to get a great compliment from him and that when he does let that standoffish guard down, he's really not as bad of a guy as I once considered him...

Decision Making Quote of the Day

Hi. I'd like to book my trip with you. -- Me, last night. Very happy. Very happy indeed.

Swoonage

I've had a few people ask me about the object of my swoonage...

I'm not really sure what, if anything, I should say especially since I know he has the URL to the blog and complimented me on my handwriting which I kinda thought was an odd thing to compliment me on but, hey, a compliment is a compliment....but I digress...

But ya know...It's a crush. That's really all it is. I haven't acted on it (although I will admit to a heavy dose of flirting) and, for the record, I don't know if I will act on it. I mean SkiGuy is still around and when I confessed my swoonage/crushing to someone the first thing they said was, "But you have a boyfriend, right?"

Well, I don't consider SkiGuy to be my boyfriend because...well...he's not. I don't think we're at that stage yet where I can call him a boyfriend. I totally adore SkiGuy and the time we have spent together and, of course, want to spend more time with him. But, then there's this other guy who, for some reason has piqued my interest and I think, to a certain extent, it's more because he and I share an odd enjoyment of the entertainment industry and things of that nature and it's not something that SkiGuy has much interest in at all...

So that's where it stands...I haven't done anything, toyed with the idea of it but haven't done anything and don't know if I will.

Then again maybe I just enjoy the flirting...sigh...I dunno...

Access: 646Guy

So you might have been watching TV last night and maybe you saw an interview with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson at the 2004 Glamour Women of the Year Awards and wondered to yourself: "I think I know that guy in the headseat standing behind them in the black suit looking like their bodyguard."

Yep.

That was me.

I've already gotten emailed from a few talent escorts about it. Their thoughts: At least you weren't looking right into the camera. I'm just waiting for the email from the guy who handles the escorts.

Quote of the Day

I think I just pissed a stream of ice. -- A fellow teammate at last night's frigidly cold practice...

Time to Vote

Just click the links to see the full itenerary

Italy -- Hiking in Tuscany

Switzerland -- Hiking near the Matterhorn

Switzerland -- Hiking in the Alps

Mexico -- Paddling in the Gulf of California

France -- Biking in Burgundy

France -- Biking in Provence

I can't decide...which would you do?

(Paraphrased) Quote of the Day

When the rapture comes and all of God's chosen ones are taken to the Promised Land...then the Democrats will be president. -- Comedy Central's John Stewart at last night Glamour 2004 Women of the Year Awards

Quote of the Day

Why is it I've never made your hit list? -- Nia Long in Alfie

Still swooning...

...and still crushing hard...and people wonder why I've had a silly grin on my face all day...if they only knew :)

Quote of the Day

Karma's justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice. -- Joe Sarno, The Way of the Gun

Sa-woon....

Okay, I am so crushing on someone right now it's not even funny....

Quote of the Day

We're going to do rock and roll today! And we're going otbe in a movie! In our movie, we're real! We fight, we scream, we talk dirty, we smoke grass! So, in the lingo of the movie, I say, all of your motherfuckers, have a great time! -- That fighting, screaming, dirty talking, grass smoking motherfucker of all time, Barbra Streisand, rallying the crowd at Arizona State's Sun Devil Stadium during the taping of a scene from A Star is Born

Alter Egos

Because I just don't want to talk about the election just yet (just listened to Kerry's concession speech) I will just say the following...

My alter ego has struck sending a letter/question to an online website (somewhat popular and filled with somewhat interesting news...ya know, something to talk about around the watercooler that sorta thing)....not only did it get answered by apparently also made a bit of trivia history for this column as well...I'll give you all a few days to scrounge around and see if you can find it...then maybe I'll be in the mood to talk about the election then...

Internet Searches of the Day

"Mail Order Groom"

"Immigration to Canada"

Grand Edict of the Day

VOTE DAMMIT!!!

VOTE OR LOSE YOUR RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT POLITICS FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS!!!

If your guy loses and you didn't get to the polls to vote then DON'T FUCKING COMPLAIN!!! You have the right to vote! USE IT!

A letter from John Kerry

Okay, so it's just the big form letter I got in my email, but still, getting just political enough for the blog, I think this letter to all of his supporters really shows why John Kerry should be elected president.



During this campaign I have asked you for so much -- your time, your energy, and your financial support. Today, I ask you for one final thing -- your vote.

Tomorrow, Americans will face a choice.

How will we find our way forward? How will we keep America safe, and keep the American dream alive?

I believe we begin by giving this country we love a fresh start. This morning, I would like to give you as a plainly as I can the summary of my case on how -- together -- we can change America.

I believe we begin by moving our economy, our government, and our society back in line with our best values.

I believe we do whatever it takes to lead our troops to success and bring them home safe. And when they do come home, I believe we begin by rebuilding an America with a strong middle class where everyone has the chance to work and the opportunity to get ahead.

Tomorrow, you can choose a fresh start. You can choose a president who will defend America and fight for the middle-class.

You can choose between four more years of George Bush's policy to ship jobs overseas and give tax breaks to the companies that do it -- or a president who will reward the companies that create and keep good jobs here in the United States of America.

Tomorrow you will face a choice between four more years of George Bush's giveaways to the big drug companies and the big HMOs -- or a president who will finally make health care a right, and not a privilege, for every American.

This election is a choice between four more years of tax giveaways for millionaires along with a higher tax burden for you -- or a president who will cut middle-class taxes, raise the minimum wage, and make sure we guarantee women an equal day's pay for an equal day's work.

Tomorrow, America faces a choice between four more years of an energy policy for big oil, of big oil, and by big oil -- or a president who finally makes America independent of Mideast oil in ten years. A choice between George Bush's policy that just yesterday showed record profits for oil companies and record gas prices for American consumers. I believe that America should rely on our own ingenuity and innovation, not the Saudi Royal family.

Tomorrow this campaign will end. The election will be in your hands. If you believe we need a fresh start in Iraq; if you believe we can create and keep good jobs here in America; if you believe we need to get health care costs under control; if you believe in the promise of stem cell research; if you believe our deficits are too high and we're too dependent on Mideast oil then I ask you to join me and together we'll change America.

I ask for your vote and I ask for your help. When you go to the polls bring your friends, your family, your neighbors. No one can afford to stand on the sidelines or sit this one out.

And in return for your hard work, you have my commitment to always fight for you, to always be on your side. In the words of Bruce Springsteen that have become the theme of this campaign. "We've made a promise we swore we'd always remember...no retreat and no surrender."

Tomorrow we will change America and with your help I will always keep that promise to you.

Thank you,

John Kerry

Quote of the Day

We commented that day that it probbaly won't count. But she went to her grave not knowing any different. It counted with her. -- Cheryl McConnell, of Raleigh, NC, whose 90-year old mother died two days after filling out her absentee ballot.

Get out the vote tomorrow!

So help me God...

....if anyone else calls me right as Desperate Housewives starts I swear I will hunt them down, tie them up, and force them to watch episodes of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman followed by Cop Rock while simultaneously listening to an endless loop of Celine Dion doing nothing but her most overdramatic torch songs...

Call me at 10:01...I'll be available....


Congratulations! You are Gabrielle Solis, the
ex-model with everything she's every wanted a
rich husband, a big house and John, the
17-year-old gardener.


Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Attention all backseat drivers...

SHUT THE HELL UP!!

inhale

exhale

Much better...

Quote of the Day

I'm just gonna tell you to go here for your quote of the day because 1) It's a damn good quote and 2) I was also there when it was said and 3) It's kinda true...

Scariest Halloween Costume of the Day (if not EVER!)

Come on...sing it with me...

She's fantastic...
Made of plastic...
Microchips here and there...
She's a small wonder...
Brings love and laughter everywhere...

As the Stomach Turns...

You know it's not going to be a good day when it starts off with the second guessing/armchair quarterback/backseat driver emails that questions a decision that they don't like and is filled with many suppositions that are patently false and insulting to those who have been working on the project.

All I'm going to say is that the guys at practice tonight had better watch out. I'm going to be hitting and hitting hard.

Crutch. Gone.

Thank God they won. Now when they suck or even choke in a playoff situation they can only blame themselves and not a decision made almost 90 years ago...

And while I'm at it....

Don't tell anyone but I'm secretly pulling for the Red Sox to win the World Series tonight for this sole reason:

When they start to suck next season (and the season after that and after that and after that)...Sox fans can no longer blame a stupid mythological curse for the fact that they SUCK...

The "curse" is a crutch for their disappointment...take it away and they will have to deal with their suckage (that is when they suck because let's face it...they're playing pretty well right now)...

Strokin' of another kind

Last night after rugby practice I was on the subway heading home with one of the guys on the team and we got to talking about the team and how we have raised funds this year. Of course, I brought up our near legendary bachelor auction and made the comment that he was going to be in it next year.

After hearing his pleas that he wouldn't go for anything (something I've heard two years in a row and shoot down each time), I shot back with, "Hey, $100 is a $100. Hey, I went for $350 this year."

"And you were underpriced," he said.

It was just one of those moments after the really shitty day I had where my ego was stroked just enough that it actually changed how I perceived my day -- not as shitty as before and ending on a rather nice note.

Underpriced. I can live with that...

P.S. If such person that I rode with last night happens to be reading this since I did give you the URL...well...Hi!!! And now I blush...and of course you had better tell me if you read this... :)

Quote of the Day

I don't know when you think you were crowned queen of the whole damn world but I know Bert Parks hasn't put a crown on your head and start singing "There She Is" recently... -- Yours truly to one of my psychotic coworkers during a "Come to Jesus" meeting...

Adventures in Physical Therapy

Where I go to get my PT isn't a large office but it's enough to where you can still get that personal attention and get worked over well.

The only complaint that I would have is that it does not have a locker room or changing rooms for clients to use (especially if you've worked up a sweat during PT). You find one of the small rooms in the back with a table where they do evaluations, apply heat, give you electronic stimulation, etc. and change in one of them. It's never really been a problem, but there are many times when there are two people sharing a room for changing purposes.

Today it became a small problem. I had just gotten done with the ultrasound and massage work on my foot with the bad case of plantar fasciitis and made my next appointment when I headed back to my room to retrieve my clothes. Now, I was careful in folding my clothes so they didn't take up too much room, was out of the way, blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda.

I just wish the woman who came in after me had been as considerate. I reached down nder the table where I had stowed my clothes and the first thing I felt was how wet my clothes were.

Now this was a problem. My khaki pants (which I had placed on the floor with my shirt and shoes on top) had a lovely streak of brown liquid right across the ass of the pants so it looked like I had a bad case of diarrhea and didn't make it to the toilet in time. I looked under the table and sitting next this purse at the foot of the table was a still warm cup of coffee that had tipped over spilling its lovely caffinated goodness all over my pants.

I put my rugby shorts back on and walked out to the counter where I asked who else was using the room because I wanted them to know what they had done. The receptionist called out to the only other woman in the entire room outside of the therapists and asked her what room she put her purse. It was in fact my room although she tried to deny the fact that she brought in a cup of coffee with her until the lovely front desk woman said she remembered her having it in her hand when she signed in.

She refused to believe that her coffee cup had tipped over and that I deliberately poured it on my pants. I told her that if she didn't pony up money so I could go get a new pair of pants I was going to go into her purse myself and get the money and/or credit card myself because I had far better things to do with my time than "pour coffee on my own pants so it would look like I shit myself."

Finally, the manager of the entire office had to get involved and told her that she's responsible for what she brings into the office and she should pay me for a new set of pants. It took about another fifteen minutes but finally she took her credit card and ID (because the office manager was holding her purse hostage) and went to the Generic Apparel Place (aka G.A.P.) and got me a replacement pair of pants.

In the wrong size.

But at least they are pants. And I don't look like I shit my pants.

The woman stormed out after coming back with the pants and said she would find a new therapist because she had never "been treated this way in all [her] life" and she would give her "business" (something that made me snicker) to a more "reputable" establishment. I was kinda waiting for her to say that she would call the firm president and have them all fired by the end of the day but I think that was a little too Joan Collins-y for her.

The manager...totally nonplused over the whole thing.

Round 2 is Over

Suitman and I talked last night.

He now wants to be friends. We didn't get the full in depth talk that we're going to be having but for now we're friends.

Of course, remember that I did say that about not that long ago about the two of us and it rekindled yet again.

Part of me giggles a little and part of me is scratching my head.

And part of me wonders if it really is all over...

Quote of the Day

Men and me are like pianos. When they get upright, I feel grand. -- From the musical Steel Pier.

Beware of the Lemon

Ahh....the weekend. Not enough sleep and way too much fun.

Saturday is, of course, a rugby day (at least until the middle of November) and this one was no exception as we took on the Bull Moose RFC one more time this year in the play off rounds. Granted we weren't in the semifinal rounds where we wanted to be, but we we came out hard and played great with a quick early score and took at 23-17 win (despite the original score being quoted as 23-12 it was in fact 23-17...I think the ref missed a try).

The drink up was its normal rowdy event as it normally is with the Bull Moose. Of their guys they have nicknamed Caesar (and is a nice specimen of the male species I can assure you) made a crack at how he passed by our team's bus after our first match with them earlier this year and no one pretty much paid him any attention (probably because we were so drunk). Of course you have to remember that this is the guy where when we first played them was opposite me in the scrum. I was so freakin' smitten that when he smiled at me right before the ref called engage that I lost concentration for a second and barely got my head in the right position. He shouldn't worry though...we showed him plenty of love this past Saturday. :)

At the last drink up and again with this one, the dreaded lemon made its appearance. If a lemon (or with some teams, a golf ball) gets deposited in your beer you have to chug the entire cup. If you try to put the lemon in someone's beer and miss then you have to chug the entire cup. It's one of those games that starts off fun and then gets annoying kinda quickly. There is a certain amount of stealth involved in the game too as most people spend the drink up with their hand over the mouth of their cup to prevent such an action. To show how dastardly of a plot it can be, one person actually put the lemon in the pitcher of beer that someone was holding and he had to drink the two-thirds full pitcher.

Since I don't really drink beer (very rarely), my participation in this game is minimal because if you're going to put a lemon in my Diet Coke then it's really not worth it. Well, I got the lemon because I had a dead on bead on someone's unprotected cup of beer. I was doing the patented "reach around" move when his arm brushed mine and the lemon missed his cup by about a quarter of an inch.

I had to chug.

And then I felt ill. Violently ill. Thankfully it passed quickly otherwise it could have been very bad. And it also proved why I would never be a good boat race participant.

The only other person who had to chug a large quantity all at once was Dennis who was doing his infamous "Duck Song" and screwed up the lyrics. With cries of "Shoot the boot" going on people were clammoring for him to be handed someone's boot (aka rugby cleat) to drink from...as none were forthcoming, I pulled off my size 13 (and no I'm not lying when I say that) workman's boot and handed it to the beer master who poured him one smelly drink and we sat there and watched as he tried in vain to drink it all down. He didn't get it all and my boot still smells like beer but it was one of those moments where size really did matter and I was glad I could help out...

This week...blech....work work work...my job is never done...

Quote of the Day

Susan had met the enemy. And she was a slut. -- From my new Sunday night addiction, Desperate Housewives

Quote of the Day

Whenever a theory appears to you as the only possible one, take this as a sign that you have neither understood the theory nor the problem which it was intended to solve. -- Karl Popper

6.95 Miles?

65 minutes.

1,204 calories.

And, yes, 6.95 miles on the elliptical runner.

Now someone tell my why my knees feel like crap...

Quote of the Day

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. -- Olin Miler

Some apologies

It's rare that I delete a post.

It's rare that I actually write something I wouldn't want people to read or am not fully aware of how it could be perceived.

For those of you that emailed me, I'm sorry I caused you unnecessary worry but, at the same time, I'm glad to know that you are there for me should something like this ever happen again. The last few days have been incredibly stressful in multiple ways and I don't think I'm dealing with it as well as I could and, to some extent, am compromising the person that I would like to think that I am. Or, maybe I'm learning who the real me is and it's not what I like.

Anyway, the House of the 646Guy is up for some major renovations. At the very least it needs a good dusting.

Quote of the Day

A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away. -- Barry Goldwater

Why? (amended)

This post was deleted. I don't want to talk about it.

Quote of the Day

You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably. -- Jon Stewart on CNN's Crossfire to their two hosts.

BBC America's "The Office" Quote of the Day

Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do. -- Ricky Gervais as David Brent on BBC America's THE OFFICE

Diagnosis

According to the our team's trainer, I did not tear my ACL but rather I decided to go for the combo plate special....

I pulled BOTH my ACL and MCLs with that lovely, ever so dramatic, not the least bit graceful fall Thursday night at practice.

If anything, it means that my figure skating career is really over for once and for all now...

Maybe....maybe not...

Last night during warm-ups at rugby practice, I took a HARD fall while doing a side lateral run. Hard is an understatement. I hit and I think I bounced too...

(For the record, I'm not sure what caused me to fall exactly whether it was a rock or I just wasn't getting my feet up high enough or whatever because it all happened so fast...)

Anyway, I hit and I grabbed my knee because it hurt like fucking hell. The coaches thought I had hit a rock when I landed and that wass why I was in so much pain. The only problem was that I couldn't straighten out my left leg without immense pain. Ultimately I was able to do that after a lot of deep breaths and slowly lowering my leg. One of the guys on the team who is a doctor checked me out and said that my ACL was unstable which isn't exactly what you want to hear. There was the chance that I had ripped my ACL.

Now this is what I learned...if you rip your ACL you can still walk forward normally. It's the side-to-side motion that is impaired the most. So here was I walking along pretty well and thinking everything is pretty cool when I could be doing even worse for myself overall. I was told that I would know pretty much later that night or the next morning depending on the pain. As the night wore on the pain morphed into this dull burn on the back of the knee and then back into a dull pain. This morning, my leg was pretty stiff and even now the dull ache behind the knee is still there and I'm wondering what I've really done, if anything.

I haven't tried any major side-to-side movements today to check it out and, frankly, my mother isn't too happy with the new developments either noted by the long sigh when I told her. With tomorrow as the last match of the regular season, I really want to finish out the season whether it kills me or not...of course, if it does kill me that wouldn't really be a good thing...surgery though would be a bad thing too but if it fixes the problem that would be a good thing...

Rugby Practice Conversation of the Day

Coach B: (to 646Guy) Hello, Mr. Torn ACL. Being a martyr on the cross for us again?

646Guy: Hey, I made that damn cross!

Coach B: Yeah, in home ec class.

646Guy: Damn right! I spent three weeks crocheting it!

-- conversation as we started a lineout drill about twenty minutes after I took a particular nasty fall during warm-ups and, yes, I may have torn my ACL but we'll see...

Blech...

I'm tired.

I'm sore.

I'm running a slight fever.

I'm a little achy but not bad.

I'm not sleeping as well as I used to...and that's with the Ambien.

I'm trying to stay well in order to play in the final match of the regular season tomorrow.

I'm trying to keep my sanity.

I'm not winning that battle very well.

Quote of the Day

There's more to having a winning season than the number in the "W" column and I just wish he would acknowledge that. -- Yours truly trying to squelch internal drama

More Reality TV and Me

Remember when I admitted I almost made it on a reality TV show on FOX?

Well I saw the commercial for the show and it made me breathe a HUGE sigh of relief.

Have you seen the commercials for My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss? Yes, folks, if you can believe it, that was the show that I almost made it on. Oddly enough, one of the guys on the rugby team works for Fox and when I mentioned how far along I had made it in the process he was aghast. (And yes, aghast, while a dramatic word is also very apt for his reaction.)

When I started going over the entire process I went through with him, he was just nodding his head as if to say, "Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about." He said what most likely did me in was the fact that I write (wrote?) for a reality TV website and that when they do the background checks on people they do "Google" people to see what they have online if anything. If anything did me in, it was that.

It does kinda make me laugh though because from the commercial I saw there is no way in hell that I would have bought that as a legitimate show/premise/whatever. I would have been like that chick on the second Joe Schmo Show who saw through the entire facade because there is only so much that you can get away with before people really start to wonder what the hell is going on. So, instead of thinking that I didn't get on the show because of my reality TV connections, I'm just gonna say I didn't get on the show because I was just too damn smart...

Quote of the Day

My darling girl, when are you going to understand that "normal" isn't a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage. -- Stockard Channing as Frances Owens in the movie "Practical Magic"

The Long Walk Home

Last night I was walking home from the subway after a rugby meeting when this guy started walking by, looked at me, and then just started talking about how he's walked from some long far off distance, blah, blah, blah. It was late, I wasn't really in the mood to carry on a conversation with a total stranger.

Except for him it wasn't a conversation. He was hitting on me. He said he knew I was gay from the way that I walked. Now, I've never really noticed whether or not my walk qualifies as "gay" or even "gay like" but well...I dunno where I'm going with that one. Anyway, he was clearly trying to hook up with me and 1) I wasn't interested and 2) I just wanted to get home because I had physical therapy at 7:30 this morning so I really needed some sleep (and I wound up oversleeping too). So...well...I kinda lied. I said I was already spoken for which didn't make him too happy and sent him off on a rant on this incredibly effeminate Puerto Rican/Italian guy he likes and ended with him asking if my "guy" and I lived together. Again, I lied and said yes. I think he was hoping that we didn't so we could have sex or something but it wasn't going to happen.

Okay, if he had asked me about whatever guy I was with I would have pulled out either SkiGuy or SuitMan and talked about him. Thankfully it never came to that but when he started telling me about how he had just come from a Sexual Compulsives Anonymous meeting (and getting the general vibe that he wanted to hook up) I'm kinda glad that I made up the lie.

I mean I guess I'm flattered and all but it's just left me a wee bit confused.

I do know that I'm going to be on the look out for this guy the next time I get off of the L Train. I don't need this drama.

Political Quote of the Day

As people do better, they start voting like Republicans...unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing. -- Bush advisor Karl Rove

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I've slept for most of yesterday and today. I guess I'm trying to make up for all that I missed the past week.

Didn't spend time with either SkiGuy (heading off to DC to spend time with family) or SuitMan (spending time with his father before he headed back to Colombia) which was actually kinda nice. SuitMan and I did have a nice talk on Sunday and we're going to try to get together this coming week and do something. Not really sure where it's heading with either guy but we shall see...

This weekend I played in the B side match against Lansdowne. I definitely didn't think I played as well or as intense as I did against Suffolk the week before but I did get named the Man of the Match for the forwards which I equated to being one big "hot box of crazy." There's one match left and that's against Hudson Valley and will determine where we play in the playoff rounds the following week. We're either going to be fourth or fifth which means if we're placed fourth we're heading off to Montauk again (most likely). If we finish fifth then we're most likely hosting Suffolk which of course would be a lot of fun.

Nothing new. Kinda uninspired. We'll talk later.

Quote of the Day

I've never seen garbage eat garbage before. -- Christopher Reeve, as Clark Kent, in Superman II. Christopher Reeve died Sunday of heart failure.

Divider Not a Uniter

No...I didn't get the quote wrong. I know Bush said he was a "uniter not a divider" but when you look at what has happened to the local paper in Crawford, Texas it really makes you wonder how true of a statement that really is...

For the record, the Crawford, Texas, newspaper endorsed John Kerry for President citing issues in the president's performance over the past four years. They were alternately praised and ridiculed for doing so receiving some emails that even made me shudder because they were just...well...let's just say it didn't put them in a good position. Some people cancelled subscriptions and some advertisers pulled their spots as well. To counteract that, people have been writing in and buying subscriptions (including me) to support them in this time...

Personally, I can never remember a moment in my lifetime when our country was so politically polarized between the parties. And, frankly, I don't see it getting any better anytime soon...

Quote of the Day

I hope I don’t give you indigestion. -- Minnie Driver to an audience before performing songs from her new CD

Drama Sheild UP!

Block overly dramatic email #1!

Phasers on overly dramatic email #2!

Carefully evade overly dramatic email #3!

Laser beams destroy overly dramatic #4!

Use Vulcan cloaking devide to pass by overly dramatic email #5 unnoticed!

Uncloak.

Drama shield down.

This battle is over.

Boring day at the office

I've spent the entire day playing nothing but games at the office today.

And for this they pay me a full salary.

I would say that this is a dream job but I'm actually rather bored.

Quote of the Day

If celebrities didn't want people pawing through their garbage and saying they're gay, they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively. -- Homer Simpson

Debating the debates

"So...what did you think about the debates last night?"

That's what I heard this morning and last Friday following the first two debates of this campaign season. My answer: I didn't watch them. I had rugby practice. And, to be honest, even if I was home, I don't know if I would watch them.

I know how I'm voting. I've known for quite some time. I don't need to watch the debates as it's not going to change my mind. Would I watch the next one just so I can see Bush fumble some more and look like he's constipated? Absolutely. I swear, the clips I saw of the first debate made it look like George Bush was trying to push out the biggest load of shit from his ass and instead we saw it coming out of his mouth instead.

Town hall debates are fun though. I might watch this next one since you never know when some commie liberal pinkos will claim to be undecided and sneak in so they can slam Dubya with a question he can't answer...

Really Bad Pillow Talk of the Day

The night before, we’re like, ‘When we wake up we’re going to have coffee, it’s going to be great. I’m going to use the yellow cup.’” -- Sarah Jessica Parker telling World Entertainment News that she and hubby Matthew Broderick like to talk about coffee while in bed.

This Is Now a "No Drama Zone"

So someone "stepped on your toes" on a project? GET THE FUCK OVER IT...did you read the email where the phrase "investigating" was used and not the phrase "doing it" or are you just that dumb?

So you think your entire office is out to get you and you turn everything into one of your persecution complexes? GET THE FUCK OVER IT...no one really gives a flying fuck about your ass and we've all pretty much learned that we don't need you in the office anyway since you do such little work as it is.

So you're a little upset because I didn't know that you also happened to know the same people that I asked someone else to to get some information from? GET THE FUCK OVER IT...if I could read your mind and your internal rolodex then this wouldn't be a problem but God didn't grant me those powers when I was born so you're just going to have to accept that fact.

So your job has you down and you want to do nothing more than talk to me about bad you're treated and how much you can't stand the people you work with? GET THE FUCK OVER IT...if you aren't looking for a new job then stop talking about how much you hate yours. I'm not the fucking Human Resources department nor am I Monster.com.

So things just aren't going your way and you think that I'm supposed to give a rat's ass because you've decided to wallow in your world rather than try to fix it? GET THE FUCK OVER IT...if you're not trying to find your way out of the plastic bag then you can just suffocate on it because I don't want to hear about it any more.

I am reclaiming my world and setting up a NO DRAMA ZONE.

Got a problem? That's nice. Unless you're trying to fix it and not just coming to me to bitch about it then shut the fuck up. I don't need to get involved. I don't want to get involved.

I love you all. Trust me, I do. But there comes a time when you need to reclaim your space even if it's just for a day.

And I'm doing it.

It's mine.

Drama. Be gone.

Quote of the Day

Anything is art if the artist says it is. -- Marcel Duchamp

Saturday (and Sunday) and SkiGuy

After the match on Saturday, I went to Therapy (the bar not the actual psychological session) and had a late dinner and drinks with many jokes made about enjoying the jalepeno poppers (or as we just referred to them "poppers" which garnered us many looks..."Wow, I just love those poppers you got!")...later his friend James joined us after taking in a performance of Chicago at the Ambassador Theatre

For the most part, I feel lucky that I was actually still awake because I was beginning to fade pretty fast but for some reason I decided that I would join SkiGuy back at his place so we could partake of the season premiere of Saturday Night Live and spend a little more time together. Frankly, I didn't think the season opener was all that great and I was waiting for Weekend Update because I'm a real whore for Tina Fey. SkiGuy and I curled up on his somewhat uncomfortable couch, watched SNL, and made out...

Around 1:00 in the morning, we were both kinda beat and he turned to me and said..."So...it's late...um...do you want to head home or..." and he kinda trailed off not finishing his sentence but letting me know that it was okay that if I wanted to spend the night with him I could. Of course the fact that he did want to invite me up to his place the night before didn't escape my mind either.

"To be honest," I started off slowly, "I'd rather not..."

With that we adjourned to his bedroom where he gave me a t-shirt to sleep in along with my boxers and we curled up in bed, kissed some more, kinda groped each other some, kissed a bit more, and finally bedded down for the night (which invariably had a few kissing sessions in it as well). No sex, but a lot of cuddling which was rather nice. Early the in the morning when I had to get up to go to the bathroom, I came back to the bed to find that he had "stolen" my pillow and was cuddling up with that rather than with me...

Finally we got up around 10:30 or so, took a shower and headed out to have brunch. SkiGuy picked up his favorite Sunday mock reading, the New York Post, while I found a Learning Annex brochure and I always get a kick out of some of the "seminars" they offer from "Make Your Own Home Adult Movie!" to "Make Your Own Natural Perfume" to, my personal favorite, the seminar entitled "Learn How to Make $10,000 Giving Seminars!" I, of course, think Step One for that is, "Associate yourself with the Learning Annex to gyp people out of money!"

After brunch, it was after noon and I really needed to get home and take care of some things there so I hailed a cab (the first one having no idea how to get to Greenpoint so thankfully I disembarked before he took off) and headed home where I really got nothing done but more sleep to make up for what I missed out on when I was in bed with SkiGuy. Is it just me or is it hard to actually sleep in the same bed with someone the first time because you're trying to get used to someone else in the bed to begin with and how they prefer to sleep, etc etc...maybe it's just me...

Conversation of the Day

646Guy: Well as one of our coaches said last week, "Danbury spent twenty minutes in shock because they realized the faggots learned how to play rugby."

Suffolk player: To be honest, I pretty much said the same thing after you scored that first try.

15 - 6

Gotham Knights RFC - 15
Bull Moose RFC - 6

Our first win ever over a union opponent and it was a tough played, very intense match. While Bull Moose might not be happy to be the first team to lose to us, their players were highly complimentary and amazed at our growth as a team (in size and experience) and...well...I'm pretty freakin' happy...

Um.....

.....SkiGuy mystery solved...kinda...more later....

Okay here's a hint in the form of a late night Quote of the Day kinda way....

Well...if you didn't have a rugby match tomorrow I would invite you up tonight. -- SkiGuy after a very long kiss while standing on the corner of 37th and 8th...

More later...I promise...

Yes....he called me...

Wednesday night I had a talk online with this guy this guy about the men in my dating world and how I kinda knew how SuitMan feels but how stumped I was about SkiGuy. The conversation ended with the two of us agreeing that at some point I was going to have to be a little blunt and ask...

So last night I was on the Magic Bus (aka the Methadone Express) to rugby practice when my cell phone went off...I looked down to see who was calling and saw that it was SkiGuy.

Now this really wouldn't be that much of a big deal except for the fact that he just got home from Toronto yesterday and was supposed to be heading out to D.C. today to spend the weekend with his family. Please note the use of the word "supposed."

He's not going to D.C. after all. He called because he wants to get together and do something this weekend.

I think I have a better idea now. Not a great idea but a better idea.

Quote of the Day

He called me
A guy that I am dating really called me
Thank God I got call waiting
'cause he called me...

-- from "He Called Me" from the off-Broadway musical I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change

Quote of the Day

Breeder bride of God! -- Him in an IM to me last night as I was told that my romance skills (which I've always thought were rather good) were along the lines of "heteros" and "nuns."

Heigh ho, heigh ho...

...back to physical therapy we go...

I have plantar fasciitis (go here for more info. It's a pretty common thing I've learned and apparently I've had it for a while. It's just that it's more aggravated now than before which kinda sucks and in the morning it makes it rather difficult to walk. Physical therapy will teach me the stretching exercises that I will need to do in order to keep the achilles in good condition as well as wearing a night splint to keep it stretched out at night as I sleep.

I'm most likely going to be buying some more of those OTC orthotics which I really don't like but since my insurance won't pay for custom orthotics I'm kinda screwed in that manner...

Quote of the Day

Firmness in politics is called obstinacy anywhere else. -- Unknown

Belated Birthday Greetings

Last night I got home around 11:00pm and picked up my mail. The first thing I saw was a return address label bearing my grandmother's name and my aunt's handwriting. I knew it was a card but I figured it was one of those Hallmark cards of support (or something along those lines), I really didn't think much of it as I opened it up.

It was a birthday card and a check from my grandmother that she had apparently written out the day before her stroke and two days before she passed away. I made it back to my room before I completely dissolved into tears. I did get birthday wishes from her after all, even if it was a bit late.

I've put the card in one of my boxes where I keep some of my most prized possessions. I think I value this more than I do the things of hers I brought home from South Carolina.

Quote of the Day

In desperation, resort to the truth. -- Werner Ulrich

Short, Sweet, and To the Point

SkiGuy -- Still adorable as ever. And I got to see what he looks like in boxers (mind you nothing sexual) when I arrived. Not exactly sure of what he's thinking or what direction he is going in...are we friends...are we dating...are we...I dunno...what are we doing? Something tells me this talk is going to have to be done rather soon...it's been about six weeks shouldn't either of us know?

Dinner -- Very good...I forgot the actual fish I had but it was done in a passion fruit curry sauce. SkiGuy had the beef penang and conversation was flowing with talks about our family and, of all things, the Miss Universe Pageant (we were talking about our childhood and shows that we were allowed to stay up late to see when we were growing up).

Movie -- Sky Captain was pretty good. Very campy and visually very stunning. Predictable ending came and thankfully had enough of a twist on it to make it worth coming to such a predictable ending. SkiGuy and I kinda snarked our way through the previews.

Rugby -- Good match. Played a team that has beated us by a combined score of about 250,000,000 - 0 over the past two years. This year we did MUCH better with a showing of 42-10. As one coach put it, "They were thinking, 'Holy shit, the faggots learned how to play rugby.'" I did some play flirting with the 18 year old kid on the team by shoving a soft chocolate chip cookie into his mouth and then trying to wipe off the excess chocolate on his butt which only made it look like some other brown substance was on my hands.

Pain -- Apparently I have a bone spur in my right heel which explains a lot of the pain I have had in my foot (especially when I wake up in the morning or after I have been sitting for a long time). I called to get an appointment with the orthopedist today. Next available appointment -- OCTOBER 12.

I now have an appointment for tomorrow morning to see the orthopedist about my foot and bone spur. We'll see how that goes.

SuitMan -- Is apparently not happy with me and has told me I have to behave. Something tells me it has to do with the fact that I kinda dragged him into a stairwell to kiss him and some people got the wrong idea...we're talking tonight so I will let you know where that one goes tomorrow...maybe...he may tell me I can't write about it...we'll see if I listen...

Family -- Mom is back in Florida after spending about 2-3 weeks in South Carolina handing family issues surrounding my grandmother's estate. She got back just in time to be pummelled by the fourth hurricane to hit Florida in six weeks. Thankfully, they didn't lose power for as long as they did when Ivan hit and they had to rely on generator power.

Me -- Very tired. Spent Sunday rearranging the furniture in the bedroom so I have better utilized the space and can actually use the chair for it's purpose rather than holding things as I sit on the bed. Slept in very late after the match on Saturday which was needed but still think I am trying to do too much again and am trying to cut back to the most essential of tasks that I need to take care of so I don't get burned out.

You -- Well...you gotta tell me...

Quote of the Day

Making fun of born-again christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. -- P.J. O'Rourke

Boring Day

Tonight...dinner with SkiGuy and then maybe a movie afterwards. Have to go buy a new polo shirt or something (Old Navy here I come again) as I opted for a bit too much balsamic vinagrette on my sandwich and well...guess where it landed???

Hmmmm maybe I'll try the Gap first...they may be having a close-out sale..

Quote of the Day

A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art. -- George Bernard Shaw

The Return of Nasty Mess

Last night I took in my first ever performance of a show through the the New York Musical Theatre Festival. It was doubly cool because I got ot hang out with my friend Lisa for the first time in almost 2 years since our schedules never seem to coincide to give us the time to actually SEE each other and because the director of the show is a friend/performer that pretty much dropped off the face of the planet and the last time I saw him was in an episode of Law and Order: SVU.

[title of show] is pretty much about 2 guys who are trying to put together a submission for the New York Music Theatre Festival (or whatever it's called) and is pretty much just rife with insider theatre jokes (of which I am scared to say I got most of) and some pretty clever tunes ("Die, Vampire, Die" being one of my favorites mainly because I loved watching pretty much everything that the actress singing that song did (yes, even Retarded Girl, which I'll get to...well I'm getting to it now...)

The only part of the show that I didn't like involved the "Retarded Girl" reading. Basically, they were reading through an old performance piece that two of them had done years ago (whether or not that part is true, I dunno, but part of me wants to say it is true since all of the cast was being called by their own names...well sorta...I can't explain that last part)...the performance piece was about a retarded/mentally challenged/whatever girl who had fallen down a well and went through a "journey of time and space." Now, mind you, I wasn't really into the whole thing because I think making fun of such people isn't right but what made me giggle was the voice used by the actress playing this character. My friend Lisa really didn't find this funny at all and when I would giggle at the voice being used, she would tell me to stop laughing. Well I couldn't help myself. I find odd things funny. Sue me.

There was another reason why I didn't like this entire section was because it brought down the entire action of the show. What was light and funny became...well...just wrong and slow and dragging...and, at times, a wee bit uncomfortable. What made it even worse is that the next scene was more "dramatic" shall we say and it just seemed that was a fun frolic through the world of writing a musical in three weeks for a festival turned into a rejected scene from Rent. But when it finally got back on track to the point of the show it was pretty good.

The highlight for the majority of us was hearing one actress' name mentioned in one of the songs. This actress has a habit of taking on roles that really and truly just don't fit her or that she really can't play that well. She's a good dancer and singer but she's taken on parts where...for the most part...she's just not right. We've come to name her "Nasty Mess" and whenever we would see her name listed on the replacements board before a show, we would all groan with, "Oh great, Nasty Mess is in tonight. This should be fun." Lisa would even take her understudy slip from from the program and rip it up during one of her numbers (and would still do it after she learned that the actors could see what we were doing in the front row...it's just one of the many reasons why I love this woman).

Of course, seeing my bud who directed it was pretty good (although he never seems to remember my last name given the last time he opened in a show I sent him a gift basket and he actually had to confirm it was from me since he couldn't remember my last name...then again maybe he just thought I was stalking him and was opting not to remember my last name...hmm...something to think about)...ANYWAY...it was great seeing him since he had pretty much just dropped off the face of the planet but it seems that everything is back on track (which is a very good thing) and his super fine butt (which is what all butts should aspire to look like) is still in prime condition. I would love to have him star in the play that I'm working on now because he would be perfect for the son role and I would get to see that butt on a more frequent basis. I'm telling you it's a butt of perfection...you have to admire it because it's just that damn beautiful. Nothing sexual at all I assure you (even though he's a very attractive man) but...it's a butt to behold.

As for me and Lisa...well...I adore this woman. It's odd how you are just drawn to people and how you connect, etc. That's how it is with me and Lisa. We have our own language where all she has to say is one thing and it immediate invokes a response from me...almost Pavlovian if you will. Everyone else can say the exact same thing but it only works when Lisa says it...don't know why...it just does. I mean, who else on this planet could I do a huge fake orgasm groan on the street with? No one. Just Lisa. No one knows how special the phrase, "Ooh, baby, ooh, baby, ooh. I'm just a sucker for man-woman sex," is to the two of us...

God I love that woman....

Quote of the Day

Betty Buckley? Isn't she one mad box of crazy? -- From last night's theater offering [title of show]

269-253

Thanks to him for this link...can you believe that our entire election, if held today, would hinge on Arkansas and Maryland???

P.S. Forgot the link...and of course, in one day it flops over in Bush's favor 273-255)

Quote of the Day

The Amazing Race taught me that you can't quit...She cried tears of joy. That's my happiest time when she does that. It makes us even stronger to know that nothing is impossible. -- Amazing Race 5 winner Chip McAllister on winning the fifth edition of the race and his relationship with his wife who ran the race with him.

Bible Thumpers vs. Showtunes -- The Donnybrook

This has been one of the lone bright spots of my day...at least I now know what to do when one of them invades my subway car...

So what's the point?

Last night I did a little shopping with the money that my mother gave me for my birthday. Since I haven't really bought new clothes in what seems forever, I went to Old Navy to stock up on a few of the basics starting with pants that actually fit me rather than have me swimming in them followed by a few more long sleeve shirts for work. After that, I stopped by the Duane Reade before heading to the chorus rehearsal where I picked up a Diet Dr. Pepper and some deoderant since my latest stick kicked the can that morning.

Now, normally, my shopping exploits are of no interest to you but something happened at both stores that really made me wonder, "What's the point?"

At both store, the door alarms that are used to prevent shoplifting went off and the "guards" did nothing. Hell, one guard was even standing next to the door when one lady went through and the alarm went off and he didn't even budge from his position.

So really now...what's the point in actually having these devices which are supposed to prevent shoplifters from absconding off with merchandise if you're not going to be doing anything about it? Hell, I feel like heading back to Old Navy and picking up a few more shirts and pants and just walk out the door with them. Maybe I'll get that nice jacket I saw as well...too bad they don't have any leather there just yet...it would be interesting to see what Old Navy leather would be like...

Quote of the Day

Sometimes I feel like I really hate her which is pretty extreme for me, beacuse I don't hate anybody. She's always trying to spread stories about me, but hte funny thing is, I know so many stories about her that I could tell you right now, but I'm not going to because I don't think that people should know. And you know what the funny thing is in all this? I just want us to be friends -- that's all. -- Hillary Duff on rival Lindsay Lohan, our teenage starlet version of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.

Birthday Bash Breakdown

So, yes, I did turn 30 on Friday as compared to the 34 that he claimed I turned. Frankly, the only reason he said I turned 34 is because it would put me closer to his own age and not make him feel so old. Which is actually kinda sad when he's actually 44 and not the 36 that he claims (or whatever age he claims).

Anyway, I made it to Siberia a little after 7 and found her on the couch. Within seconds, I was surprised to see SuitMan emerge from the downstairs performance space. Now SuitMan had told me it was somewhat possible that he could make my party but I shouldn't count on it. But, sure enough there he was and within seconds I had a beer from him and from Caryn in my hands and I was drinking from both of them. (For the record, I consumed only three Red Stripe Lagers that night which, I have to admit, was pretty good on my part.)

A few minutes later, Daniella showed up followed by one of my rugby teammates (and was later joined by him, him, and, quite belatedly I might add (although it was still great to see him since the last time he saw me I was naked wrapped in Saran Wrap), him). I must say that Daniella was using her mammary assets to their best effect with her nice tank top. We tried to do a little dance to Donna Summer's "Last Dance" but that ultimately failed because the heels she was wearing that night were not conducive to big disco spins. Now, mind you, this was also the first time that Caryn, Daniella, and others had gotten to meet any of the men from what Crash termed my "harem." Mind you, I had to tell them which person he was but they were all very intrigued I can assure you...

Now the kicker of the entire night was when I learned that SuitMan in fact had found my blog and read a part of it before realizing that the situation described in one entry was eerily similar to a conversation that he and I had earlier that week. I was totally horrified about him finding out about it because I had taken great pains to 1) not tell him about it and 2) never use his real name in any of the entries, and, doubly certain that I had never used my last name in any of the posts on here. Caryn kept telling me that I needed to chill because the only person making a big deal out of it was me. Frankly, I still think I would have liked to have been in the closet (so to speak) on his knowledge of this site. Oh well...if you're reading this now, SuitMan, well...HI!!! :)

SuitMan did, however, give me a series of very short, quite hot, make you melt kisses before he left as he had tickets to the Phil Collins concert. Now, to the normal person, this would not be a big deal, but considering the fact that when he and I were...well I don't know if you can call it dating...but whatever we were doing last year that involved a lot of sexual tension but no sex whatsoever included no kissing at all. I mean there were the hello and goodbye kisses but nothing with any heat behind them. Let me just say there was some heat here.

Thankfully SkiGuy wasn't there at the time otherwise I would have never let that happen. And since we're on the topic of him, SkiGuy did show up and gave me a gift -- a really nice black and silver picture frame. I introduced him around to everyone and let the gang in on his other secret identity as SkiGuy. One of the best parts of him being there was watching him at the bar doing a little dance to whatever was playing on the jukebox. Technically, he was doing what my high school chorus termed the "Tennessee Tush Push" which was the little dance I did with my butt when I served as student director the men's ensemble. My butt would move with the rhythm of whatever we were singing and well...you get the image. So there was SkiGuy at the bar, Tennessee Tush Pushing away and I have to say, he does have a great butt -- something in which Daniella and I found immediate agreement. At one point, I was very tempted to grab a handful of that butt and blame it on the three Red Stripes but I was a good boy. Sadly, SkiGuy, too had to run off and we did share a nice longish kind of hug and a sweet kiss before he had to go. Not the heat and passion of SuitMan but just enough to really make me miss him after he was gone.

Ugh, what a whore/slut I am...and what a quandry to be in...

Anyway...ultimately, I had to run out around 10:00/10:30 or so as I had a rugby match the next day in Montauk to go to and that required me to get up at the crack of ass to get on the bus for the incredibly long trip out to the opposite end of the island. Mind you, everyone thought it was rather lowbrow that I was leaving my own party but considering that I had the trip ahead of me the next day, I think it was a little warranted that I get some sleep. Of course, I knew it was going to rain but who knew it would be that hard. Granted, I did ask our coach if we loaded the ark two by two when I arrived, we were still able to get out to the pitch okay, weather the storm which we were ever so slightly ahead of throughout our trip to the match, and by 2:00 we were able to play.

I did get to play in my first match in almost a year as I took in the first half of the B side match before letting one of the rookies come in for the second half. My scrumming technique needs improvement or I need more experienced locks behind me or both as I got hammered in the scrums way too much and had an inexperienced lock pushing on me before we had the "engage" call in some scrums. No matter how hard I pushed back I never felt I was holding him off as he just pushed even harder. I did stand up at one point before a scrum engaged and turned to him and said, "Don't push." That seemed to do the trick although I never did feel fully comfortable in the scrums. But that was just me...

So that was the weekend...how the fuck was yours?

Quote of the Day

You've all made wonderful choices in shoes and dresses tonight and you all look absolutely beautiful. - James Spader, who won best lead actor in a drama series for "The Practice."

If you were born on this day...

From the NY Post:

IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
Everything will come out right for you this year. Everything in your life will just fall into place. An excellent sun-Saturn aspect on your birthday means you are about to reap what you sowed in previous years. All the effort and all the pain will at last seem worthwhile to you. What you have learned will be of even more value to you than what you earn in a material sense.

From NY Daily News:

You have your own way of doing things this year, and it's the right way for you. Career opportunities include ways to make much more money while you're providing a service you can be proud of. Your love life picks up in November, when you'll be giving yourself lots of pampering, intellectual stimulation and leeway to do what makes you happy. Love signs are Taurus and Leo. Your lucky numbers are 2, 22, 35, 49 and 50.

From IAfrica.com:

At least one of your dreams ought to materialise during this fortuitous year. You can create favourable circumstances for yourself by visualising progress and success. Dream your dream and the reality will become easier to realise.

From the Macon Daily Online:

Most of the day will run as usual but this afternoon could be full of interruptions from well-wishes and happy birthday pleasantries. Your mind tends to settle on issues of security, home, family, etc. Your communication skills are at a high and you will enjoy the attention you receive today. You can be original and may be drawn to take some risks in the professional field. You will want to break new ground and explore new possibilities, which you will eventually find successful. This afternoon your friends may have a lot to say about what you do and where you go--they want to celebrate. A renewal of a past friendship is possible. You may find yourself enjoying a carriage ride in the park or some other old fashioned fun. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

From TVGuide.com:

Everything will come out right for you this year. Everything in your life will just fall into place. An excellent sun-Saturn aspect on your birthday means you are about to reap what you sowed in previous years. All the effort and all the pain will at last seem worthwhile to you. What you have learned will be of even more value to you than what you earn in a material sense.

From Birthscopes.com:

The September 17th person has a drive system and the stamina to go for the long haul. The challenges in this persons life come from Saturn, the ruling planet for today. In a work setting these are the ones that enforce policies or laws and at home can be so serious and pressing that their love ones run for cover. Although if they logically agree to love someone they mean it. They tend to agree with the masses.

A look ahead; If you force your opinion of someone they will in turn feel that you want them to be like you. MAKE A SERIOUS EFFORT TO LIGHTEN UP, IT WONT HURT A BIT !!!

Quote of the Day -- Birthday Style

You know, I'm still twenty-nine in Guam. -- Jennifer Aniston as Rachel Green on Friends...and yes, I turned 30 today....

And I'm back...

I flew down to South Carolina for my grandmother's funeral on Sunday. The viewing at the funeral home was also that day so I had to first pick a flight that would get me down there in time to be picked up, change (if needed), and head to the viewing.

It was a little weird going into a situation like that as pretty much all of the family members who were there had been present at the hospital and for the previous twenty-four to forty-eight hours been living and, I guess, grieving as well. When I arrived, I was already dressed to go directly to the funeral home for the viewing and was updated on the latest family dramas so I would be aware of what I was getting myself into before meeting the family full on.

When we got to the funeral home, my mother, sister, and myself made our way down to the casket first. They were there to check out how my grandmother looked (and I must say she did look very good) while I was there reeling just a little bit. For the days prior I was trying to remember my grandmother as she was when I last saw her so part of me wasn't prepared to see her. I did get to have one private moment with her when no one was around where we "discussed" things and I told her how much I loved her and was going to miss her. At the end of the viewing, my aunt requested that one ring be retrieved from the body as it was something she had given to my grandmother and was to be passed down to her daughter. In its place went my silver ring which she wore when she was interred the following day.

But what can I tell you about my grandmother...

The pastor at her church called her mischievous. That, of course, was more accurate than he realized. The running joke in the family over the past few days (pretty much so we can keep things light) was that my grandmother was an exhibitionist. The last two times she was taken to the hospital via ambulance she wasn't wearing underwear.

What I really learned over the course of the last few days is what a real friend my grandmother was to so many people. While receiving visitors at the funeral home, we were repeatedly told what a wonderful friend she was by so many people. Over and over throughout the evening people would come up and regale us with stories of my grandmother and one of her adventures out on the town. One woman whose name escapes me called my grandmother the best friend she has ever had. I spent some time talking with her as the visiting session was closing down and we were just drawn to give each other hugs as if we were letting each other know that it was okay to be sad, cry, or do whatever we felt necessary to get through this time.

Tomorrow I turn 30. As I never really knew where I was going to be celebrating my birthday, I took to calling my grandmothers in the afternoon the day of my birthday to speak with them then. Tomorrow, I'm not going to be able to do that with her and it's going to feel odd. I was allowed to bring a few of my grandmother's possessions back with me -- namely a few knick-knacks from her kitchen to go into my bedroom (I don't have enough space to put anything major) and all with their own 40s and 50s style flair to them. So, in a way, I have a bit of my grandmother with me. Lord knows, I already share the same political beliefs with her so that's not going to change.

When I arrived in New York, I reached for my cell phone to call my mother (who is still in South Carolina) to let her know that I had made it back to the city safely. In scrolling through the phone book feature, I passed my grandmother's name and paused there for a second. I couldn't bring myself to delete her number just yet so I scrolled down to my mother's cell phone number.

One day I'm going to have to delete that number but for now...it's fine as it is...

Quote of the Day

Damn that woman has a fat ass. -- My grandmother, who passed away last Saturday

Leavin' on a jet plane...

I'm off tomorrow to head to South Carolina for the funeral which will be held Monday. Due to Ivan heading in their direction after hitting Florida, they are trying to get things taken care of in advance.

My thanks to everyone for their prayers, thoughts, and best wishes.

I'll be back...most likely...late Tuesday, early Wednesday.

3:56 am

It's odd how one date can carry multiple meanings for people. Not only will this be the anniversary date of the attacks at the World Trade Center and Pentagon but it will also be the day that my grandmother passed away.

At 3:56am, my sister called me to let me know that my grandmother had peacefully passed away in her sleep and was in no pain. I don't believe much in organized religion but I do believe in prayer. The one prayer that I made over and over since learning what happened was that if this was her time to go that she not be in any pain or discomfort and that it be as merciful as possible.

She is really going to be missed.

Prayers, Good Voodoo Vibes, Something, Anything

I just got word that my grandmother (the one I adore, not the psychotic one) had a major stroke some time yesterday, is unresponsive, and is currently on life support.

To get this info while I'm at work...probably not the best place for it but really and truly, is there ever a good place to learn something like this.

Anyway, as I digress....any good voodoo vibes or prayers you can spare or pass on would be appreciated.

Update....about an hour ago (approx 730pm), they took my grandmother off life support apparently she had been hanging on for a while on her own but the prognosis is not good. I was asleep when they called and I have a sneaking feeling that I woke up at the exact moment when my grandmother passed. It wasn't one of those groggy wake ups but a quick start. Call me crazy or something but I really think that's what has happened. I will update more as it comes in.

T-Minus 7 Days and Counting

My sister was pretty evil when I as growing up.

When we were living in North Carolina, my sister and I attended the same elementary school. One day I thought it was supposed to rain but my mother told me that it really wasn't so I left my plastic raincoat on my bedroom floor. When I got home that afternoon with my sister, I noticed this huge puddle in of liquid in the middle of my raincoat.

"The roof leaked!" I said.

"Are you sure?" my sister said.

With that my sister encouraged me to dip my finger into the liquid and taste it. And, for some reason, I did.

It was cat urine.

Our cat had peed in my raincoat.

Quote of the Day

Don't remember what you can infer. -- Harry Tennant

T-Minus 8 Days and Counting

So I turn 30 next Friday and I decided to regale you, my readers, with stories of my pained childhood. These are the classic tales of my wrought existence that keep me from bringing any potential relationship home because 1) these stories are sure to come up and 2) they will only serve nothing more than to drive any love interest away. I've seen it happen to my sister and her boyfriends...I can see it happen to me.

Anyway...a classic tidbit from my childhood...

One night when I was young (figure maybe four or five years old), I was going to bed when my mother came into my bedroom to ask me what I was doing. I was in the process of putting the piece of gum I had been chewing all day between my toes and then putting a sock over said foot.

My reason for doing something so asinine -- I was trying to save it so I could chew it the next day.

They have never let me forget that...

Quote of the Day

Thanks for vomiting and running away. -- Anonymous

Frances is a bitch

So Hurricane Frances (or what's left of her) made an appearance in NYC today and flooded a few subway lines. I had to ultimately take five trains and got to work an hour late. Psycho Freak Coworker Gloria called in crying that she waited for TWO HOURS for a train at her station before heading home to which my boss and I had to wonder why she didn't try going to another train line as there were several that were running and announcements were being made all over the place about line disruptions.

Anyway...I got off the phone with my father a few minutes ago. Apparently up until last night, they were without power since Sunday afternoon. Thankfully my mother got lucky in the hardware store and was able to get the generator she was waiting for so the food in the freezer and refrigerator wouldn't spoil. She was number 24 on the list and got VERY lucky to get one.

My sister, however, is still without power but thankfully she has a generator as well to keep her food okay. I think I can stop bitching about my bad commute given what they are dealing with.

Too bad that bastard Ivan seems to be heading their way next.

Advertising Slogan of the Day

Give us a ring at 1-800-CALL-DHL, and like a true New Yorker, tell us where to go. -- DHL ad I read on the subway this morning.

Quote of the Day

I was going to be playing a guy from Boston, who was part of a boy band at one time. I was going to see some friends who are gay, and I was gay. It was like me coming out of the closet, but I'm not in the closet. I've never been in the closet. I don't know what goes on in the closet. If I was gay, I would have no problem admitting that I was gay, but I'm not gay. -- New Kids on the Block alumnus Jordan Knight getting pretty defensive about his sexuality.