Tuesday, December 31, 2002

The 2002 Meltdown

Featuring the best and worst that 2002 had to offer

Trent Lott goes down, Nancy Pelosi goe sup, Republicans take over Congress but have a lot ot prove, Sarah Hughes stuns in Salt Lake City, skating scandals, Marie-Reine Le Gougne -- was she or wasn't she?, John Gotti, A Beautiful Mind takes home a beautiful Oscar, Lisa Lopes dies in a crash, Friends gets its first Best Comedy Emmy, Les Mis is finally closing, Osama bin Laden -- alive or not?, Michael Skakel, Madeline Toogood, sniper attacks, Justin and Britney no more, Lance Bass not a cosmonaut, Pim Fortuyn, Celebrity Boxing, American Idol, The Bachelor, Worldcom, Tyco, Martha Stewart, Imclone, Halle Berry Oscar history, Serena Williams, Anaheim Angels, Miss World leaves Nigeria, Amina Lawal Kurami, 9/11/02, Seattle Slew, World Cup Soccer mania, The new super-couple: Eminem and Moby, cloned humans, Spiderman, Al Gore no more for 2004, transit strikes, Milton Berle, Ethan Zohn, Vecepia Towery, and Brian Heidik all survive, Richard Harris, Afghanistan and Iran, North Korea as well, Al-Qaeda, John Walker Lindh, Michael/Margo Kantaras, Thor Heyerdahl, Winona Ryder, Zsa Zsa car crash, Anna Nicole Smith, The Osbournes, Patriots take the Super Bown, Paula Poundstone, Rosie O'Donnell, Linda Lovelace, Urinetown, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Hairspray, Dance of the Vampires, Bloomberg gets an F, WTC plans that Rudy G. hates, Miss Russia no longer Miss Universe, Central Park 5 exonerated, Al Sharpton for President?, the Innocence Project, Matt Lauer shaves his head, Rhenquist retirement rumors, NYC2012, Israel holds Arafat captive, Bali bombing, Middle East Peace process dies, Jimmy Carter and the Nobel Prize, Dubya doin' Iraq for his dad, snowstorms, rugby, Whitney admits her drug abuse, Mariah "tired," not "crazy," Ann Landers, Robert Urich, Jenny from the block dumps hubby and takes Ben Affleck, the Sopranos, Anne Heche has a kid, Darryl Kile, Swept Away swept under the rug, gay sex on trial, Six Feet Under, NYC downtown economic revitalization, (646) Guy on hiatus, Justice Byron White, the Trading Spaces phenomenon, Chicago: The Movie, endless searches for fake lesbian pictures of the Olsen Twins leads to my blog, Blogger Bashes, me and Paula Abdul at the MTV Video Music Awards, Old Crush, New Crush, Officer Bob, the Aussie, a certain Californian, losing 30-40 pounds, new job with health benefits, kumquats, Absolut Mandarin with Sprite, French martinis, Sherron Watkins, Zimbabwe farm occupations, transsexual sex parties, leather thongs with snap on/off cod pieces, Cissy Galore, Jacqueline JoneƩ, truvy, Union Girl, bye bye X-Files, McHales Burgers, the Hut of Evil, HoE weddings, Marjorie Knoller and Diane Whipple, Jose Padilla, Billy Wilder, Patsy Mink, the Fantasticks close, Adolph Green, someone left the cake out in the rain, Craig's List, psychotic landladies, Rosemary Clooney, Bookworm challenges, clothing optional Fridays, Edie Singleton, pimp daddy, Enron employees in Playboy, Russian theatre hostages, Chick Hearn, child adbuctions, Cardinal Law, War Emblem stumbles on Triple Crown bid, Pennsylvania mine rescue, Daniel Pearl, Argentina's economic collapse, women at Augusta National, the first year of the Euro, Dave Thomas, Princess Margaret, the Queen Mother, Chuck Jones, Ted Williams on ice, Paul Wellstone and Walter Mondale, axis of evil, Lewis and Tyson fight before the fight, MLB All-Star game ends in tie, Thomas Junta, Nedra Ruiz, Paul O'Neill resigns, wildfires, falling stock market, Traficant expelled, Providence mayor convicted, homeland security, Elvis, the King brothers, IMF protests, and much, much more.

Here's to 2003. May we learn from the past so as not to repeat it. May we look to the future with renewed hope and anticipation.

Monday, December 30, 2002

It's odd that I've already started fulfilling some of my New Year's resolutions for 2003. My main resolution was to be more proactive about putting myself out there and dating more often. I've always put obstacles in my way of doing it so when people asked why I haven't dated or wasn't dating at the time I could point to this project, that project, and everywhere else but myself as the blame. But I've already started taking steps to meet that goal...

I asked out the Australian.

The rugby team is having a New Year's Eve party tomorrow and I invited Mr. Aussie to come with me as I didn't know how well connected he was in NYC or what he was doing for that evening and besides...a kiss from him to start off the new year would have been a glorious thing. Anyway...I tried calling him but there was no answer at home so I figured he must still be in California so I shot him off a quick email which he responded to today. Sadly he's still in San Francisco until next week and can't join me at the party. So I did the next best thing I could...sent back a reply and said that perhaps when he got back we could do coffee or a movie.

More news on this when it comes in...the scary part is I don't know if he's single...oy vey...I should really learn to find those things out before I ask someone out on a date. Now I know what you're thinking...it doesn't count because I didn't ask him in person. Well I say bugger off...
Okay so I went to go see the Chicago movie starring Catherine Zeta Jones, Renee Zellweger, Richard Gere, Queen Latifah, and John C. Reilly.

Utterly amazing. I was concerned as to how they would incorporate some of the songs into the movie and was slightly upset to learn that they had cut two of my favorite songs -- "My Own Best Friend" and "Class." But overall the entire movie is just amazing. You have to give credit to Rob Marshall and Bill Condon for their careful crafting of this movie because I am truly impressed. If this doesn't make the movie musical genre come back in some way shape or form nothing will. I was totally impressed with Catherine Zeta Jones because I expected nothing out of her. I have to say this casting is much better than the original which was Madonna and Goldie Hawn. Goldie Hawn was WAY too old for the part of Roxie. Queen Latifah was amazing and John C. Reilly was so poignant as Amos it was fabulous.

Now, outside the theatre, when Union Girl and I arrived, there were about 60 people already in line at 5:45 to go in for the 7:00 show. While we were in line, this limo pulled up and there were balloons on the back and at first I thought it was a bachelorette party but it turns out it was part of the Fox promotional machine for their new movie, "Just Married" or something like that. So there was a couple dressed up as a bride and groom and the "best man" dishing out fliers for the show. He went up the line asking if someone could sing a song to the new couple and I don't know why I volunteered myself for this but I went up and put out a nice version of "Nel cor piu non mi sento" from my old voice lessons so many years ago. I dropped it about a third because I knew I wasn't hitting the high notes and it was okay. Now, on the way over to the limo, I was promised some champagne for my performance and I got back in line without getting the necessary alcohol. So I called over to the "best man," Jeff, and asked him where my champagne was. Sure enough he called me over, had me sit in the limo, the "groom" poured me a glass of champagne and I had a nice conversation with the "bride and groom." They both worked for Fox and well..they were getting into the spirit of it all. When they were asked to make another appearance in the moon roof, the "bride" yelled at her new husband that he was standing on her veil. Sadly, they had to go to another location before the line started to move so I had to get out and back in line. Union Girl was so confused as to what had happened but I didn't care. The champagne warmed me up just enough until the line started to move.

Ah...New York.
Quote of the Day

Whoopie! Hotcha! Jazzzzz! -- from the movie Chicago

Friday, December 27, 2002

Remember the town that was up for sale on eBay. The final bid price was $1,777,877. So...what can that much money get you in NYC?

1 2200 sq ft loft in SoHo

2 years of Shane Spencer playing baseball for your team (current salary $885,000)

62 Classic Red Mazda Miata roadsters, 4 speed automatic w/overdrive, 142 hp/16 valve engine, Bose stereo system, anti-lock braking system, permieter shock system alarms, chrome fuel filler door, and leather interior

198 years of nursery school tuition in NYC (based on average cost per year)

209 pink diamond wedding bands from Harry Winston

217 first class round trip tickets from New York to London

841 annual all-access memberships to Equinox Fitness Clubs

847 SONY PCG-NV190P VAIO® Notebook Computers from J&R.com

1,274 double missions in the Lazer Park arena for you and 99 of your closest friends

1,816 nights at the Plaza Hotel with the Romance Package of 1 King Bed, Plaza Suite, Continental Breakfast, and Bottle of Champagne

2,540 months of rent at my former apartment in Astoria, Queens

5,183 7 Night Unlimited Park Hopper tickets to the Disney World Resort in Florida

5,926 Discarded Times Square Subway Signs

6,838 Holiday 2003 Packages at Metamorphosis Day Spa. Includes: facial, pedicure, reflexology, body scrub and half hour massage.

8,934 Listed Hand-tufted rugs from Ikea

9,877 Tickets for 2 to see Dance of the Vampires on Broadway

11,853 of the best seats to see the New York Rangers play at Madison Square Garden

14,213 admissions to the New Year’s Eve party at The Paramount

14,816 haircuts by a top stylist at Rumor Salon not including tip

19,325 single session boxing lessons at Chelsea Piers

20,916 hour sessions with personal trainer Jason Keigher

28,220 monthly unlimited ride Metrocards

28,225 bottles of Veuve Clicquot Brut Reserve

32,924 45 minute carriage tours of Central Park

44,447 day session passes to the US Open

50,796 cab rides from JFK to any spot in Manhattan (not including tolls and tip)

59,263 trips on the Sex and the City Tour

68,512 Junior's Four Flavor Sampler Cheesecakes

71,115 Trips on the 3 hour Full Island Circle Line Tour

74,388 Months of AOL service

80,746 dinners at McHales (burger, two beers, and tip)

84,661 “Temporary Memberships” to the East Side Club

111,187 T-Shirts from BlogGear.com

112,881 admissions (with skate rental) at Wollman Rink

148,776 "Movies on Location" maps (shipping included)

165,384 Martinis at the Marriott Marquis Atrium Lounge

177,788 Rich for Life scratch-off tickets from the New York Lottery

198,645 burgers at McHales (no drinks or tip included though)

222,235 bleacher seats for the Yankees

253,982 tickets to visit the Cloisters

296,808 boxes of clementine oranges from D'Agostinos

355,575 watches from the guys at the corner of 50th and Broadway

507,965 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies from the Girl Scouts of Greater New York

557,328 large tubs of Abraham's Hummus with Roasted Garlic at Fairway

592,626 round trips on a NYC Subway

1,185,251 mornings with a buttered bagel and large coffee from practically every NYC street vendor

1,777,877 rides on the Central Park Carousel

4,805,073 first class stamps

7,111,508 copies of the New York Post

29,631,283 shares of Enron stock (based upon 11:00 AM stock price provided by MSN.com)
Um...this was in my sitemeter stats and I'm trying to figure out what it means...

adjective to describe the people working attitude

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Of course it's not as great as the following...

ty pennington trading spaces gay porn
Freaky Friday Fun

I'm seeing the movie version of Chicago tonight....go ahead hate me...you know you want to....I just hope it is as good as everyone says it is...I'm going to be highly critical of it I can guarantee you...

So, we now have a human clone named Eve. Even better, this groups says that we are nothing more than the offspring of extraterrestrials. And people scoff when I said that I wasn't human.

Hmmm...somehow that closing line from the movie Feds came to mind when I heard about this...you know the one I am talking about -- "And you got Duluth!"

Our good friends at Gawker have given us the place to go if you want cheap, tax free smokes (especially important for those who don't want to pay the extra taxes here in NYC that make it like $7 a pack!). Head over to Barbisbutts located on the Seneca Indian Reservation in Kill Buck, New York. As it is an Indian reservation it means you pay no state or city taxes. Ah, the joy of loopholes.

Is anyone else but me REALLY looking forward to this?

Isn't it nice when married soft core porn stars kiss and make up (and presumably throw each other into a variety of positions where they do nothing more than perform frottage with each other?)

There is actually voting for the worst blog of the year? Just glad to say that I'm not a nominee although you can still vote in the "name my new email domain" poll below. (For the record, I voted for Adam Curry in the worst blog poll for the sole reason that I always wondered what happened to him and now that I do...it was a waste of time to find out.)

Thursday, December 26, 2002

Also note that DorothyZbornak.com, RoseNylund.com, and SophiaPetrillo.com are still available and are possible contenders. I would use evilpettingzoo.org but some people might not like me using it...

Which domain name should I buy for my new email account?


Free polls from Pollhost.com

The men from The Bachelorette are up on the ABC website and I already have a few picks of my own but first, let's hear it from our NYC men who should do us proud...I say should because 1) they're men and 2) they're from NYC so you never know what will happen....

Kudos to Greg T., Greg H. (even though he's from Jersey we can count him), Josh, and Peter.

Now as for my picks...well let's just say I have not done a full analysis of the men to make my picks as to whom I think Trista will pick, but for now I'm adoring Billy, Brian H., and Jaime.

January 8 the fun starts!
I think I just got cruised at work although I am not sure...Dee, where are you when I need you for things like this?
The mystery of Sean Penn has been solved...per the delightful Ken Goldstein, the reference to Sean Penn was due to my overwhelming reluctance to be photographed at a recent blogger bash.

As most people know, I shy away from a camera much like a snail shies away from salt (okay it's a bad analogy but I couldn't think of anything really good on the spur of the moment). However, since even the delightful Ms. Solly has deigned to call me a "hottie" after seeing a recent picture of me I think I can welcome the cameras this time...
Okay people...I just need someone to explain to me why 2/3 of my hits for today involve naked images of cast members of Trading Spaces?
Holiday Story of the Day

Christmas 2002

I have to share this story from yesterday because it cracked me up. I was watching the Coupling marathon on BBC America and it really made me laugh out loud. Jane, the bisexual who broke up with Steven, brought her shrink to a dinner party at Steven's house. Mind you, Jane said she's vegetarian but she's eating meat. Her shrink yelled at her, "You can't eat meat and be vegetarian, you insane bitch." This was soon followed up by Jane going to the roast, carving herself a piece while making animal noises, and saying, "Mama. Mama."

Then there was Jane with Jake the Snake sock puppet who told Jane that she got her job because of her breasts.

Then there was Jane dating a gay guy who swore that it wasn't a date and she swore he really wasn't homosexual just people-sexual and that there was no such thing as homophobia, just people-phobia.

Then there was Jane...oh who am I kidding...Jane was rocking my world. Oh and the guy whose character was really well endowed was rather cute as well although I prefer the guy who tried to hook up with the Israeli girl even though she didn't speak English and you saw the conversation from both sides -- him speaking English and she speaking Hebrew then him speaking what I think was Italian and she speaking English. Amazingly enough, what he thought her name was translated out to "breasts."

So that and a trip to the gym was my holiday...sigh...one year away from the family dysfunction and I kinda missed it.

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

Here's wishing you and yours a happy holiday. May today, the coming weeks, months, and years be filled with happiness and love.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Even worse than someone finding your blog through "fake naked lesbian pictures of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen" is this....

Ashley Olsen nipples

I am so impotent right now...
I got this news story from our good friends at Gawker who saw it in the NY Times and it made me realize that I've been to both of these shops when I was at the closing night of The Fantasticks with my friend (and at the time she was my boss) Alison.

Both of these shops are right across the street from each other. Neither are really that special to be honest with you. Both are rather musty and dark. Definitely idn't realize how territorial these people were. For all we knew, they probably thought we were spies. Although $800 for a Wallace and Grommet chess set was a bit much...
Poor Willie Nelson...just makes me wonder what he misses most -- the cash the IRS didn't take from him or the bottle of red wine?

On a serious note though...how wrong is that? How lax is security in Norwegian hotels?
I just got listed at Gawker and can I just say it's a happy moment in my life.

Speaking of which...Gawker has given me the listing of the 50 Worst Actors. I have to say it cracked me up.
I've been contemplating buying another domain to use as my email address since I get so much spam through some of my accounts. I went to GoDaddy.com (where I got my NYCTales.com and 646guy.com addresses) and played around a bit. I want something a little funky and just a bit off to make people wonder where the heck I came up with what I have and I was shocked to learn what was already taken because I just didn't think people would want these domains...


I may have to start going with hyphens if I want the truly funky...however, these, shockingly, still remain open...


Sigh...more research must me done...
Are you Naughty or Nice?

Eh after trying it with a few people's names (Joni, Faustus, etc)...I realized everyone will come out nice and I know how naughty Faustus has been too!
I got my holiday CD from Jenna yesterday...it made me schmoopy...

Halifax in 2003, my friends...
Holiday Story of the Day

December 1983

At this point, I'm about nine years old and still sorta believing in Santa Claus although I do remember complaining about staying up all night and hearing nothing on the roof.

During this holiday, I happened to catch an episode of that wonderful family/spy series "Scarecrow and Mrs. King." In this episode, Amanda (played by Kate Jackson) is being held hostage by the Russians on Christmas Eve. Mind you, she's pretending to be some man's daughter because he's a deep undercover spy who wants to see his daughter...yadda yadda yadda...

Anyway, after the Russians storm the cabin and hold them hostage, Amanda says something to the Russians about it being Christmas Eve and she should be home stuffing the stockings of her two kids and praying for world peace and stuff like that and of course this means that the Russians have a change of heart and decide to help everyone get really tanked on the vodka they brought. Anyway, when Amanda mentioned stuffing the stockings I turned and looked at my parents who were exchanging some uneasy glances with each other.

Brian: "Mom, why is she stuffing their stockings? Why isn't Santa doing that?"

Mom: "Her kids were really bad this year so Santa's not going to go to their house."

Brian: "Oh."

Monday, December 23, 2002

What Slashy Krycek Cliche Are You?

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My goodness gracious me! It must be simply exhausting, being so incredibly perfect all the time. You're the perfect lover, perfect cook, have the perfect body (stump and all), live in perfect domestic bliss with your lover/husband in the suburbs, own three dogs, a cat, and maybe even a kid or two. You make love to your boo-boo-kitty-sugarlips all day long, are never boring, and can cook a delicious filet mignon in seconds flat. Occasionally your boo-boo-kitty-sugarlips is in dire straits, and then you switch from the purring jungle kitty into the scary roaring tiger, out for blood. Nobody hurts your lover! You also tend to get kidnapped by lecherous bastards who want your beautiful body and wicked mind all for themselves, but don't worry. You'll be reunited with the love of your life in no time! You go, Perfect Domestic Bliss Cliche Alex!
Hmmm, I don't know how to take this...according to Blogdex, Ken Goldstein, aka The Illuminated Donkey referred to me as "the Sean Penn of bloggers..." but I can't find this reference on his blog which makes me just wonder if Blogdex is screwing with my head or not...

Is this a good thing? Ken, you gotta fill me in...I'm taking it as a good thing but you never know...
Once again, the best of Craig's List for NYC...

To the two dudes laughing at me...

Broken Assed Girl

Blonde girl with star tatoo in my bed this morning

Thanksgiving Day Parade

a connection that I wish was missed

For more of these wacky postings check out The Best of Craig's List....think of it as an early holiday gift to you...

Can you tell I am bored at work today?

My blogger code

B3 d++ t k++ s+ u-- f++ i o+ x e- l c-
Hmmm you can buy me this for Christmas...and I will think you're totally insane...
What the fuck is up with YACCS? Freaking comments are all gone again...damn bastards...
Starting tomorrow I have to cover my desk, my coworker Sylvia's desk, and my coworker Dan's desk until the start of the new year. Mind you, I have already been covering Sylvia's desk for over a week now...and for this reason, only if I die will I be able to take a day off between now and the beginning of the new year.

And they had better damn well give me Christmas off next year because of this. If they don't, I will pitch the biggest fit you have ever seen.
If there is one category I could ever be put under, please let it be "Cyandide Laced Kool-Aid" on this guy's...
Purely hypothetical question here but I would appreciate some feedback on it...

Say perchance I was an entry in a bachelor auction to raise money for a good charity. And say, perchance, that my "date" consisted of skydiving followed by lunch or dinner for 2 at a French restaurant. And say. perchance, the entire day's transportation was done in a limo...how much would you bid on this...maximum bid please... :)

Just wonderin'...
Holiday Story of the Day

In celebration of the holidays, I decided I would delve into the less than glamorous moments of my family's holiday past and share with you a few things that will make you say, "Thank God that's not my family!"

Christmas 2001

This was the year that I opted to be the really good son and buy my parents a DVD player (mind you I don't own a DVD player, but I'm buying my parents one). My sister, however, had to spill the beans to my father about it because he wanted to buy one for my mother so he wouldn't double dip. My father thought that having a few DVDs on hand when they got it installed would be nice so they could watch a movie on it that evening, therefore, they were wrapped and placed under the tree for my mother to open.

Christmas day comes and my mother opens up the package of DVDs before the DVD player. My family, shall we say, is not the best when it comes to timing. My mother looks at them, looks at my father, and says, "What good is this going to do us? We can't play these on the CD player, can we"

We brought her the DVD player next.

Saturday, December 21, 2002

Looking Back...

Dedicated to those who were a child in the 50's, 60's or 70's.

Looking back, it's hard to believe that we have lived as long as we have...

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention hitchhiking to town as a young kid!).

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable.

We played dodge ball and sometimes the ball would really hurt.

We got cut and broke bones and broke teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame, but us. Remember accidents?

We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank sugar soda but we were never overweight.........we were always outside playing.

We shared one grape soda with four friends, from one bottle and no one died from this.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X Boxes, video games at all, 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, Internet chat rooms...we had friends. We went outside and found them. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rung the bell or just walked in and talked to them.

Imagine such a thing. Without asking a parent! By ourselves! Out there in the cold cruel world, without a guardian! How did we do it?

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't, had to learn to deal with disappointment... Some students weren't as smart as others so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade...Horrors.

Tests were not adjusted for any reason.

Our actions were our own; consequences were expected with no one to hide behind. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law, imagine that!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years has been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And you're one of them.

Friday, December 20, 2002

If I didn't see it I wouldn't have believed it...

This, some people would say, is a pipe dream...
So Softcore Brian Heidik won Survivor 5...I don't know how I feel about this. It's rather odd. Even odder, they showed some clips of his movies (of what they could show at least) on the CBS Early Show.

That was disturbing. But he has a nice ass...
What swear word are you?

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Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?

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Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?

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What Trading Spaces Person are you?

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Okay the 12 Days of Christmas -- gay rugby style... (on a serious note, this was originally from the Mizzou women's rugby team...who knew they could be so nasty... :) )

On the first day of Rugby
My true love gave to me
A water bong that wasn't worth a suck..worth a suck!!
and so on...
Second day - two what the fucks! (yell FORCEFULLY!)
Third day - three titty fucks
Fourth day - four firm buts
Fifth day - five round the worlds..bum bum bum (twirl around at this point)
Sixth day - six 69ers
Seventh day - seven slimy dicks
Eighth day - ate and he ate and he ate and he ate
Ninth day - nine naughty nymphos
Tenth day - ten tons of testicles..what?
ten tons of testicles...what?
lick the balls and suck that dick,
lick the balls and suck that dick
cha cha cha cha cha cha cha
cha cha cha cha cha cha cha
Eleventh day - eleven edible underwear
Twelfth day - twelve men at once
It's about damn time.

Oh yeah...you have support. Yeah. Right. Delusional gullible twat.
A few things you need to do in order to enjoy Dance of the Vampires to the fullest...

1) Make sure you have an empty stomach.

2) Go to the Atrium Lounge at the Marriott Marquis and have three martinis. (I suggest the French Martini -- Grey Goose, Chambord, and pineapple juice -- be one of them. This will help dull your senses.

3) Watch the first act thoroughly buzzed and have a nice laugh during the production number dedicated to the joys of garlic. Yes. Garlic. Garlic, garlic. The secret for staying young. Garlic, garlic. That's why we're so well hung. Wish I could say that I was making that line up, but it's in the show.

4) At intermission, have a Vivarin. Combined with your three martinis, it will help you make it through the second act. Especially when you see the smoking crotch and have to listen to the disturbing rewrite of the Bonnie Tyler/Nikki French "Total Eclipse of the Heart."

5) Become dismayed that you can never hear that song again without remembering this show.

6) If by this point you're still enjoying the show then you have survived. Enjoy the nice butt on the romantic male lead during the closing songs. If you're up in the mezzanine as I was it looks really good when he's slithering on the floor.
Quote of the Day

Garlic, garlic
The secret of staying young
Garlic, garalic
That's why we're so well hung...

From the musical Dance of the Vampires starring Michael Crawford, now playing on Broadway

Thursday, December 19, 2002

I just made 20,000 hits...I'm a happy person. So to the person from netvendor.com using Microsoft Windows 98 and Internet Explorer 6.0, who was on my blog for six full minutes....Congrats you were visitor 20,000. In your honor, this post is dedicated to you...
This is so wrong on multiple levels...
santa's ho

You are Santa's Ho!

I know what you'll lay out for Santa

And it's not milk and cookies.

The Xmas Quiz: Are You a Ho Ho Ho?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Well as you can tell from my quotes, I was at the Television Without Pity finale party for the third edition of The Amazing Race. I am very tired as I did not get home until rather late and I'm just a wee bit exhausted.

It was a lot of fun so let me give you a quick run down...

Oswald (AR2) -- Looking stunning as ever

Andrew (AR3) -- Looking very twinkish in his outfit. Dazzling smile too...

Chris and Alex (AR2) -- Whichever one was not dating Tara from AR2 was second runner up in the Best Ass of the Night competition.

Brennan (AR1) -- Still has the best ass of them all.

Jill and John Vito (AR3) -- The cutest of cute. Very nice and open and friendly. These are people you could sit down, have a beer with, and just talk. How can you not love them?

Aaron (AR3) -- Hmm I know he entered but I didn't see much of him to make a good impression. Or I really did see much of him and he still didn't make a good impression. Arianne was there as well but you barely recognized her.

Drew (AR3) -- Looks much better on screen than in person. Maybe it was because he needed to shave.

Teri and Ian (AR3) -- Just delightful. Very nice, genuine people.

Mary and Peach (AR2) -- Wow...talk about stunning transformations.

Kevin and Drew (AR1) -- The life of the party

Karen and Lenny (AR1) -- Karen is TALL (not to mention strikingly beautiful). Nice to see that she and Lenny get along.

The daughter of the mother/daughter AR2 cast -- I think it's Deidre but I am too tired to look it up...anyway I overheard her confess that she dated one of the Itchy/Scratchy guys from AR2 but it didn't work out.

Phil (the host) -- Shorter than I thought he would be but really, really, really nice. And when he eliminates you and does the LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG pause, it is so uncomfortable. But it was cool.

I'm sure I'll remember more later....I'm just so tired....
Quotes of the Day (if not the quotes of the year for me...)

Brian. T.J. (long pause) You're the last team to arrive. I'm sorry but you've been eliminated from the race. -- Amazing Race 3 host, Phil Keoghan, to myself and Brian "T.J." James at the finish line mat at the TelevisionWithoutPity.com finale party.

Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Maybe you should take up another sport. Like golf. -- Amazing Race 3's Andrew Hyde after accidentally kicking me in the crotch at the finale party and hearing me compare it to getting kicked in the crotch by my boot wearing rugby teammates.

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Random Wednesday Thoughts

I have always told my friends that NYC is so great that you can get just about anything delivered to your door. I wasn't joking. Thanks to reading Gawker, I have learned that there is CityVice.com...a service that will deliver the finest in epidermal epics to your front door. This I find really funny....

The verdict in the Barry Bonds home run ball trial will have a verdict today. Many of us think that the guy who ultimately came up with the ball will be the winner. Too bad he will have to sell it to pay off attorney fees.

I haven't been playing Bookworm that much since I haven't had a real challenge as of late. 63,600 points from the magificent LAVENDAR still holds as the high score unless someone has beat it.

Men with Australian accents and pale blye eyes are very sexy.

Having a man moan with pleasure while you're massaging him (and mind you, he doesn't know who is massaging him) is one heck of a thrill.

I need sleep.
Can I just tell you how hot it is when you look a guy in the eye and say, "On your knees, boy!" and he actually gets on his knees? Nothing happened but all I have to say was..."Damn, I could get used to this..."
This is kinda odd...I started off this blog so many months ago talking about going to a party for the finale of Amazing Race 2. Now I'm going to one tonight for the end of Amazing Race 3. Is my life just one big circle or what?

As a Maine trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers his window and she says " Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
Then the truck stops for another red light, the blonde catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up to the truck and knocks on the door. Again the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly " Hi my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath the blonde gets out of her can runs up to the truck, and knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers his window. Again she says " Hi my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load! "

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window and as she lowers it , He says.... " Hi, My name is Kevin, it's winter in Maine and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK.
Brian's week of exhaustion continues with a party tonight...so far I've had chorus rehearsal Monday and the chorus concert last night. Tonight I have a party, tomorrow is dinner with friends I haven't seen in about three years, and Friday is a day to rest...if I can make it through all of this I will be one happy man...

I'll blog about the chorus concert later...I won't talk about my nipples being bitten...I'll just leave that to everyone's imagination.
Quote of the Day

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. -- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. -- His reply

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Hmmm can we say lawsuit?
Argh...I hate Amazon.com, I do, I really really do.

I ordered a play tent for my nephew for Christmas from Amazon.com and made sure that it would be there in time for him to enjoy on Christmas Day. However, when I gave my mother the update on the packages to arrive from them, I noticed that the delivery date had change to where it was possible that it would not arrive until January 2003.

This is wrong. This is wrong on multiple levels. I shot off a pissed off (albeit professionally written) letter to Amazon.com and I doubt that anything will come out of it but it's just the principle of it all you know...thank God my nephew isn't old enough to go through the, "Uncle Brian doesn't love me" phase...

When I told my mother this, she said, "Yeah, but he has a star named after him (my Christmas present to him when he was first born)."

"Mom," I said, with my Southern accent slightly coming out, "he can't play with his star. He COULD have played in his tent."

Sigh...this holiday season really sucks...I still don't know what I am going to do on Christmas beyond watch football and maybe order in pizza.
Quote of the Day

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. -- Rita Rudner

Monday, December 16, 2002

Ass or Elbow...you decide...let's just say I went 10 for 14 and am feeling pretty damn good about myself...
Isn't it rather cool when you see things on the street that remind you of people you know....

I was on West 37th in the Garment District and I saw a neon sign that said, "Solly Collection," which of course made me think of my dear Caryn Solly and how I haven't seen her in ages...coffee darlin'?
Brian's Sure-Fire Sign That Winter Has Arrived

Blowing my nose causes a nosebleed...yep...at the gym...right after I put on my shirt. Went to the sink, took some Kleenex, blew my nose, proceeded to have to hold my nose to stop the bleeding for the next five minutes.

Sigh...it's the one downside of the year...
Help! If you ever been in or participated in a bachelor auction could ya please drop me a line at sixfoursixguy@yahoo.com. I have some questions as I am looking into organizing one as a fund raiser...
Quote of the Day

Just because we had sex doesnt' give you the right to take me to dinner. -- Unknown Porn Actress

Saturday, December 14, 2002

Since I've received a few emails and a few comments about my take on the contract talks with the MTA and the TWU, I guess I should clarify my statement as it was written in the heat of immense anger -- something I promised to never do when I started this blog but I did anyway...

I guess this is another situation where our own personal experiences speak for themselves.

I remember sitting at the Ditmars stop waiting for the train to leave with Coke cans, spilled coffee cups, sticky floors, cleaning crews spending more time talking to each other in a car than actually cleaning it, token booths manned with the most apathetic of employees who would wait to finish their conversations with friends before turning to help you, waiting over 45 minutes (at 10:00 pm on a weekday night) until a train would come to pick me up from Union Square while four R trains convenient rattle by, etc. Things on the 1/9 line is only marginally better.

No, I agree that running the entire system is hard. However, I am far less than impressed with the performance of the workers. The tone of my post probably came after sitting through a newcast where I learned that the average salary for the majority of these employees is about 20% more than what I make and hearing the head of their union say it's not enough pissed me off. They make far more than the woman on my team whose desk I am covering for the remainder of the year who busts her ass off to earn her check and puts out more work that what I have seen from TWU workers. One of the TWU's complaints is that the workers of the LIRR and Metro-North train lines make more money. Well, I've ridden on both many times and have gotten much better service than I have from our subway workers. The cars are clean, the staff accomodating and helpful, and these trains have always been on time each time I've ridden them.

This all comes down to perception. I am sure that there are TWU members who do one heck of a job. I've only had personal experience with two of them though. People I would love to see get a nice raise though -- the maintenance workers who are out on the rails doing regular maintenance, etc. There are three of those people in my building and I know how hard they work...they deserve the money.

Friday, December 13, 2002

Winner of the Year

I know it's early to call this, but I'm gonna...well, we can call it Brian's Winner of the Year and it is...

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

For a movie that cost $5,000,000 to make and has grossed over $220 million, that's one heck of a winner.
Okay, so everyone is wondering what I mean when I say that I have become a flirt "all of a sudden." Well, I guess there is flirting and then there is acting on your flirting. I usually just flirted and did nothing else (which probably explains why I am still single). Now I'm starting to act on my flirting and that's opening up doors...

I'm Southern, remember? You just think we're flirting with you most of the time...
To all of the members of the NYC Transit Workers Union (and more specifically to their union leader, Mr. Toussaint)...when you start showing me that you deserve your contract demands then I'll start supporting you. Your level of service is pathetic and to start off by demanding a 24% pay increase over three years was ridiculous if not insulting. Big deal that you move the largest number of people around the city. If you don't think that the city will assess you with a $25,000 fine, you will be surprised when the bill comes in...
Quote of the Day

If children knew what their parents were really like, they'd kill them in their sleep. -- Frank Zappa

Thursday, December 12, 2002

The Brian spending spree continues....one Pierre Cardin tuxedo is now added to my wardrobe...
Can someone explain to me why I have become such a major flirt all of a sudden?
I guess I should give everyone a little update on New Crush and Officer Bob since I did see them last night.

New Crush came right up to me and asked how I was doing and was as friendly as ever. When he heard I was sick he did offer me some Chlorosceptic (or however you spell it) and hoped I felt better. So there was nothing there that even gave me the slightest hint that he had read the Sunday entry and if it bothered him in any way.

As for Officer Bob, he arrived a late and rushed to his seat. As I commented to one of my comrades in arms, it was one of those moments where you couldn't tell if he was rushing to his seat because he wanted nothing to do with me or because he was just running late and needed to get into rehearsal. So there remains a bit of mystery there...

Basically this entire thing boils down to four basic scenarios:

1) They haven't read their email yet.
2) They didn't read the email and just deleted it.
3) They read the email but didn't click on the link.
4) They read the email and clicked on the link.

Either way it's all out of my hands and I have to live with what has been done. Oddly enough, I've reconciled myself to it and I am fine with it.
Quote of the Day

Why does man kill? He kills for food. But, often times there must also be a beverage involved. -- Woody Allen

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

I just bought a leather jacket on eBay for my brother in law. He had better like it... :)

As for me and my eBay puchases for myself...well, if you're really nice to me maybe I'll let you see them...
I know I don’t get involved some political debates because I am one really liberal guy and well…it’s just not my way. I’ve learned that there are three things you generally do not talk about with friends if you still want to have them as friends – sex, religion, and politics. Well, today I’m talking about sexual politics. Yes, I’m hitting two of the three biggies in one big fell swoop.

I recently saw a story on 60 Minutes about Title IX, the federal provision that requires gender equity in high school and college athletics. The story was not about the women complaining about a college’s failure to comply under the statue but the men claiming that it was not adequately protecting men. Personally, I have been waiting for this argument to come for years and now that it’s here…well, it’s odd where my loyalties lie this time. You would think that I would be with the women because I’m such a liberal that I would want the gender equality, etc, etc. You would think that I would be with the men because I’m a man and I play a sport as well. Well you’re right and you’re wrong. I am with the men because I want the fairness of the statute to be upheld.

Recently collegiate wrestling programs and organizations filed a Title IX discrimination suit claiming that their programs were being unfairly targeted for elimination as schools had to meet Title IX rules that required a proportion of the female student body be involved in athletics. In order to meet the ratio, sports such as gymnastics, wrestling, golf, and lacrosse have either been eliminated or had their team rosters capped. Additionally, sports such as women’s crew (aka rowing) have been added to the roster with scholarships attached to a female student’s participation in the sport regardless of any previous experience or ability.

The current proposal that has come out of the Education Department’s commission on Title IX allows for a certain flexibility in the ratio of genders participating in team sports at the high school and collegiate level with a plus/minus ratio that gravitates anywhere from five to nine percent based upon a gender equitable split (i.e., 50/50) of participation in school athletics.

Proponents of this change (and I am, as of right now, a moderate supporter of it) thinks that this will allow some of the smaller, less glamorous sports to maintain some of their membership while others, including Julie Foudy, captain of the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team, state that Title IX is about equality and that sports programs will look towards the lowest threshold for maintaining their Title IX accreditation. But equality for whom, Julie? If there becomes a program with 55% female participation, will the men have the right to plead Title IX discrimination and the women will be forced to cut back on their programs? If you answer no to that, then under the current laws you are wrong.

In my high school district, we had equity for sports. During the football season, there was volleyball for the women. In fact, we had girl football players on some teams and guys who went out for volleyball. Of course a few people blinked an eye at the women playing football and the men on the women’s teams but it was allowed. Men’s and women’s basketball teams. Men’s baseball and women’s softball. Men and women’s soccer. Men and women’s tennis and golf. Men and women’s track and cross country teams. I think the only sport that didn’t have an equal women’s team was the wrestling team and even then, there were women who tried out for the wrestling team in the lower weight brackets (and some of them won). No one ever cried Title IX foul because we were all given the chance to participate.

Now, were there more men playing sports than women? Most likely. Football teams alone account for 70-90 players each year. The women’s volleyball team did not have 70 members on its squad but the point was that no one complained about opportunity because it was there. Maybe I’m bitching about nothing but what I think my real point is as follows: If there is opportunity and no one takes you up on it, then how can you complain?

Which guy are you destined to have sex with?

brought to you by Quizilla

Jude Law: you like them romantic and British with beautiful green eyes.

Well...hell yeah...
I'm a big fan of the comics (even though I am approaching my thirtieth birthday in a couple of years) but they are a wonderful barometer of our nation in terms of politics, sexuality, television, sports, etc. So when this comic arrived in my mailbox over the weekend (and I just read it today because I was home sick) I was tickled pink because I have to say that the message it sends is rather true...and sadly the joke is on our own country.

Please also note that I have added some new links of note to the blog so please visit them as they have so kindly visited me and I've been such a whore that I haven't had the time to add them in until now...
Quote of the Day

In 1962 the expression ''safe sex,'' all that meant then was you just move the bed from against the wall so you won't bang your head. -- David Letterman

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

My thanks to everyone who has emailed or left a comment about the recent events. I'm still pissed, albeit not as pissed as I was before, and I'm fine with the fact (well as fine as I can be) that emails were sent to New Crush and to Officer Bob. For all I know the emails were deleted, ignored, read and then ignored, and they never looked at my blog. It's not going to stop me from writing or holding back on what I write (although there are certain things that will be left off -- right, James???)...

Passion Fish, another one of my favorite movies, is on tonight....let me watch that and be happy...karma is a bitch and it will come to bite them in the ass eventually...
Quote of the Day

On my way in this morning, I found out how to make the lift stop between floors. When are you free for elevator maintenance? -- from an email by Lorraine Pallister to Liam O'Keefe in Matt Beaumont's novel, E.

Monday, December 09, 2002

Okay, I don't know who did this but let me just say that I am pissed....so let me just say this and take it for what it is worth...

To the person that thought it would be cute, possibly funny or God knows what you thought the time...ANYWAY...I do not appreciate the fact that you took it upon yourself to send an email to Officer Bob and New Crush with a link to my blog and then blind carbon copy me on the emails.

Not funny. Not appreciated. And for your sake, I hope to God you had better hope I never find out who you are...I mean really now...was that really necessary...

Quote of the Day

"Truth is, and you might as well hear it from me, every employee of a publication that covers financial world despises their subject matter. Dissecting how rich guys continue to get richer while you never do is a strange profession indeed." -- Tom Webster, from Sharon Krum's novel, Walk of Fame.

Sunday, December 08, 2002

Well, I am finally home from the chorus' retreat and let me just say one thing...Hooboy! So let's start in the very beginning...a very good place to start...

Friday Night

Friday night started with the trip up to the Hudson Valley Resort and Spa. I had to haul ass from the office to make it to Grand Central in time to meet one of my fellow bus monitors (yes, I had a title) and pick up the tip money for the drivers. When I got there (roughly at their departure time), the bus was packed and I was presented with the situation that there might not be enough seats on the final two buses due to the fact that the bus totals didn't include spouses or children. Therefore, the first bus went off with people sitting on the floor and I was faced with the daunting task of trying to cram people onto buses when I might not have seats to accomodate all of them.

The first bus arrived and I immediately started to load people onto the first bus (with the assistance of my lovely assistant, Maev). I ran into the issue of people trying to "save" seats for their friends. Now, I had a strict "first come, first serve" policy and I was not about to pull people from the rear of the line to give them a seat on the bus when they could have had it if they had gotten their ass to the bus on time (enough said). Anyway, turns out I was fine on seats on both buses and we got everyone on with no one sitting in the aisles.

Now on my bus, the driver turned to me and said, "I have a movie if you guys want to watch..." The movie was The Chamber based on the John Grisham novel and starring Chris O'Donnell, Gene Hackman, and Faye Dunaway. It elicited quite a few laughs from the crew and was probably not the best choice for their viewing pleasure but it kept them occupied and with little disruption. Oh and while I am at this point, let me just thank Mr. Mark Flores (who despite his protestations that he looks fat is absolutely adorable) for my rainbow striped knit cap. It was the perfect beacon to draw people to the chorus line. Sorry for the non sequitir but you can deal...

So, we get off a little late because the second bus not only arrived late but the driver that drove the bus in was not the driver that was taking us up to Hudson Valley. Now we took off around 7:15 or so which was 45 minutes behind schedule. Now the funny part came when the first bus called us to find out our status and we learned that in the hour (and then some) that they left before us, they had only made it up to 125th Street from Grand Central. Even funnier was when I got a call from one of the organizers asking about our location and was shocked to learn we were so close as the first bus had still yet to arrive. Yes, the bus that left an hour plus before us was not there yet. This elicited a huge round of laughter. In fact, we arrived five minutes after the first bus which meant a HUGE line at the front desk.

The arrival also meant that it was time to grab a small drink and the chorus to go do a late rehearsal. But before all of that, there was the arrival of the New Crush. When he arrived, he had his hair up in the ponytail and we talked about the trip up and things like that. When he came back downstairs from arriving in his room (that he was sharing with no one else but his bottle of Absolut Mandarin -- of which I didn't get a single drop) and he had his hair down out of the ponytail (for which he has earned the nickname Steven Segal from some chorines). I about fell off the couch because he was even sexier with the hair down -- something the Union Girl agreed with me on). So I joined him briefly at the bar and chatted for a while until he was admonished for not being in the rehearsal (something which he knew he should be in there but passed it off with grace and panache). However, it was after he was in the reherasal that I got the news I was dreading. The New Crush has a husband. In fact he said he's been "married" for five years and who knows how long they have been together before that. Okay, I'll admit that it was a little heartbreaking to hear this but hey...he and I will probably wind up being very good friends and I have nothing against that whatsoever.

For the record, let me just say that the last time I had a crush on a chorine, he was also in a relationship, got out of the relationship, then got into another one, got out of that relationship, and into another one...oy vey...That, of course, was the Old Crush.

Anyway, with the reherasal over, we all adjourned to the lounge where a local wedding band (because that's all you can really call them..they weren't covering one artist but several). Now when I first saw them...they were kinda scary to me, but they grew on me and were actually quite good. So there was a night of dancing and drinking and revelry and I had to save the very drunk Union Girl from doing something horrible and I crawled into bed around 1:30 or so...


Not much to report in the morning as I went to the gym and did my little thing there, watched the chorus a little, and read my book. During the break, one of the chorus members and I were talking and he pretty much told me that I had a nice butt. Now, you have to understand...I do not hear these things very often so being told that I have a nice butt made me very happy. Now, since this person will be coming back later in this posting, so we'll have to give him a name...we'll call him Officer Bob since at one point he was dressed as a cop...so anyway, I did thank Officer Bob for telling me I had a nice ass and he, in fact, said that all I had to do was hang out at the lobby bar and I would be picking up plenty of action. Well, I kinda laughed it off because things like that...well they just don't happen to me. In fact, as I proved this weekend, I have no idea when I'm even being cruised. One of the chorine's boyfriends repeatedly cruised me as I walked by and I didn't know it until someone pointed it out to me.

Now Saturday night was the annual "No Talent Show" where the chorus puts on fun, amusing acts usually at the expense of the artistic director. Well the acts were fabulous as usual but I had one moment that got me quite a bit of praise and applause on my own. Now, mind you, I was nothing more than a simple follow spotlight operator. My job was to make sure that people were properly lit and nothing more. Well, one of our hostesses for the evening, Ms. Barbie Stilleto, has a way about her that is well...how do I put this...she's a funny woman...she's notorious for her crass, bitchy comments that always elicit laughter. For example, when one chorine wanted to take her picture but was having a hard time operating the camera, Barbie got tired of waiting and finally said, "Sketch me." Well, during one moment, we had to present a CD to a spot in the middle of a track. While our sound guy was doing that, Barbie was on stage doing her schtick when she heard the music. Her reponse, "Oh that's lovely. These wonderful non-union houses." Well, you don't insult your crew that way, so as the follow spot operator. I turned the light off of her and let her sit in the dark. It was a movie that garnered me a little moment of infamy, allowed me to pose and let them know that it doesn't matter who you are, what you are, or what you say, you don't insult the people that make you look good on stage. The grand conclusion was the crowning of Ms. Witti Repartee as the Chorus Queen and Gary Diamante as the Chorus Butch for 2003. Major kudos to both of them as I know they will do the chorus proud. It still cracks me up that I got four nominations. Two more and I would have been one of the finalists.

Now, after the No Talent Show, we adjourned once again to the Empire Lounge to listen to our wedding/cover band and to have a lot of fun. One of the chorines (who just split with his boyfriend) was very drunk (as in "could barely stand drunk") and propositioned me to go back to my room (which I was sharing with three other people mind you) and have some fun. Well, I have a small code of ethics...I never do anyone who is way too drunk because I don't want to have the feeling that I was taking advantage of someone in a weak moment. So I decided to go back to the lounge and have some more fun. While in the lounge, I was introduced to New Crush's husband. To make it even worse, there were two people who know of my crush and commented that they thought that I resembled New Crush's husband in terms of body type and hair and so forth...that did nothing to take care of the mild heartbreak I went through...but like I said, he and I will probably wind up being very good friends and nothing more...

It was during this time that I hooked up with Officer Bob (whose ass was clad in leather pants and he had a harness on under his cop shirt) and he and I started dancing. We took turns following but it was finally determined that I was a better follower than I was a leader so we proceeded to dance to a litany of songs. During one song, I wound up standing in front of Officer Bob with my back against his chest (now almost bare, just encased in a harness) and we were having a good time. Well, I opted to go out and get some more water (because I was a little sweaty and thirsty) and I ran into a member of the chorus who said, "I hate you now." And I asked if it was in regards to Officer Bob and he said yes. It was something I just found funny but when I relayed this story to Officer Bob, he said, "Why? Could they tell I was falling in love with you?" Now I have no idea of how to take ths since he was a little tipsy at the time. Mind you he wasn't as drunk as the previous chorine as he at least appeared to be cognizant of the fact that we were dancing and so forth. But this just kinda took me off balance so I was just like..."Hey kiddo, just play it by ear." I dunno if Officer Bob even remembers saying this, but he did say it...of course at this point, I was trying to remember if he was still with the hubby I had been introduced to quite some time ago or if they had split...

So I did some more dancing with Officer Bob and when I slow song came on, it was some very close, very tight holding and a bt of fondling during the song as well. At one point he had one hand on the back of my head and another right above my ass. I don't even remember where my hands were but I was getting the impression that if I wanted it, I probably could have it. About 2:00 we headed down to the pool as we heard there was skinny dipping going on with about 20 of the guys from the chorus, however, we missed that part as when we got there it was empty. However, there were a few people in the game room playing one of those lovely, super violent zombie shooting games. So we headed back up in the elevator and opted to head to bed.

Now this is where Brian decided to play the moment for what it was and conveniently "miss" my floor and see what happens when I let Officer Bob off at his floor. We shared a nice sweet kiss where he trailed down from my mouth to my neck. I made the comment that it was something he could do again and he said, "Hold onto that thought..." Now here's where I think I personally screwed up. I should have followed him out of the elevator and seen what happened. If something had happened, I probably owuld have pursued it and done whatever happened. But I didn't I went back down to my room, changed into something a little more comfy and went back downstairs to find one of my roomies who wanted the scoop on it all. Well, actually, I sat in one of the chairs in front of the elevators and drank a bottle of soda first. Part of me was telling myself I should go back upstairs and see if he's waiting for me but I didn't do it. Odd isn't it...I have a problem taking advantage of drunk people but when it comes to other guys in relationships there's no problem...hmmm...maybe my priorities are all off...

So when I got back into my room (with a major erection mind you), I spent most of my time cursing myself for not going after him and seeing where it would go...


Not much to report here. I flirted heavily with Officer Bob, even asking which bus he was going to be on by telling him I needed a "pillow" for the ride home. Sadly he wasn't on my bus. I did get a few kisses out of him but I wasn't sure if it was friendship kisses or kisses for pursuing something further. I hate to mention this, but my curiosity is just a little piqued. If he's single now and wants to go out on a date...well, let me just say that I would be a little interested...

Also interesting to note, one of the new chorines that I know by name but that's about it came down and sat next to me and inquired as to the book I was reading ("A Great Deliverance" by Elizabeth George). At first I thought he was making fun of the fact that it was set in Britain by putting on an accent. Well it turns out he is from Australia (not to mention rather attractive) and I am trying to convince him to come out and play rugby with the team (not to mention this other guy named Andy who is 6'7" and would make a perfect lock in a scrum). Anyway, Mr. Aussie may come out and watch a few practices so we shall see. In any case...if Mr. Aussie asked me out on a date, then I would be a little interested...

So...it's been an interesting weekend....in summary, New Crush is no longer a crush as he's married, I was dancing rather close (and as some said, hot and heavy) with someone who may be married, I was propositioned by a drunk guy, was engaged in an interesting conversation with an Aussie...and well....it's all up in the air....we'll see what Wednesday's rehearsal (not to mention the post show party next Tuesday)....

Friday, December 06, 2002

29 Things to Make You Forget About the Tooth You Just Chipped

1.If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?
8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.
21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
25. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
27. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
28. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
29. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
One sign that your day is not getting any better...I just chipped my tooth...
Well, it's practically official...I've won the office gym contest. I've gone 12 out of the last 14 days (they think I am nuts) and with 2 weeks left in the competition it's down to me and Yannick for the title. However, the only way that I can really lose is if I just don't go for an entire week and he went for everyday until the end of the "contest."

Last night -- another hour on the elliptical runner. Today -- an hour of weights with a five minute cool down on the bike...

Now what pisses me off is that I can't get a good accurate reading on the scale at the gym. Last night it said I weight 221 which if correct would mean I that I have lost about 30-35 pounds. This morning it said I weight around 225-6. Mind you, on Tuesday it said I weighed 230. That scale is seriously screwed up...
Something to cheer about...Perhaps the WORST Secretary of the Treasury that we have EVER had is stepping down and I couldn't be happier. I don't blame O'Neill for the current downturn in the economy but at the same time he really didn't do anything to help it either (except shoot his mouth off).

Some of his more profound statements --

Traders were just people who sat in front of a flickering green screen.
The economy was not heading towards a recession.
The Dow Jones would reach all time highs by December 2002. (Hmmm...Kreskin this man ain't...)
His take on nuclear accidents: “If you set aside Three Mile Island and Chernobyl, the safety record of nuclear is really very good.”

At least I can applaud him on one thing -- he called the Republican's economic plan "show business."
Some old geezer in the gym bumped into my while I was doing the one thing you don't want to be doing when an old geezer bumps into you....shaving. I took a nice slice out of my chin and it looks like a big red pimple now from where it's clotted...
Quote of the Day

If you see a snake, just kill it--don't appoint a committee on snakes. -- H. Ross Perot

Thursday, December 05, 2002

Maybe this is telling me to be wary of married men....
More quiz results...enjoy...

Who is Your Oz Prison Bitch

Who's your OZ bitch?

brought to you by Quizilla

Oh yeah...I can live with this one...

Why Will You Go to Hell?

Why Will You Go To Hell?

brought to you by Quizilla


Who is your inner gay man?

Who's your inner gay man?

brought to you by Quizilla

Congrats, you've got a little Rufus in you! Raised on opera and his mother's show-biz sensibility, Rufus is a master songwriter and performer. Though prone to excess and moodiness, his off-kilter sense of humor and fashion and his radiant presence make him a joy to be around. Don't be ashamed; if this still small voice speaks up within you (with a bit of a slur and a lisp), listen up! He could make you a star.

Which Gay Themed Movie Should You Watch?

Which gay-themed movie should you watch?

brought to you by Quizilla

But only if I can just skip to the part where the hot guy has his shirt off…
Okay, I took yesterday off from work and completely forgot some things to blog about...liek running into Mike from NYCBloggers.com on the subway going home Tuesday night. It was one of those little moments where you're like...I know who you are...I just don't know where I know you from...and then it hit me...it's Mike from NYCBloggers...man what an idiot I am...so Mike, if for some reason you get sick after shakin my hand...it's purely coincidental...it's moments likethat when you realize how small this world really is...

This afternoon I'm going to head to the gym after work for another hour on the runner. I know it sounds crazy to exercise when you are sick, however, I think a good part of getting over this is to do some exercise, sweat it out, and all of that fun stuff. Besides, when you've run into your former boss for the first time in months and she is shocked at how much weight you have lost and how much better you look...well let's just say that it's incentive enough for me to keep going...

Now...can someone explain why I've become such a twink magnet in the past few days???
Quote of the Day

A genius is a queer who can whistle while he works. -- Bobby Knight, former head basketball coach for the University of Indiana

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

Oy vey...I'm home sick and the best that I can find on TV is the best of the baby paternity tests on Maury Povich. Someone shoot me now...the best so far is the guy who supposedly fathered three children with three different people. One of those people is the GIRLFRIEND of the guy and he says that it's not his baby. This is just sad...This woman is just going off on him about how she's going to take him to child support court to make him pay for four years back child support and now she's in tears over it and let's just say that it wasn't pretty...and this dumb ass kid who was saying how all three kids were ugly and that's why they couldn't be his children....I think he just crapped his pants...

Anyway, I need to head to the drug store (I almost did the British thing and said the chemist...too much British hip lit) and get some medicine. I need to be in top fighting form for when I head upstate this weekend for the chorus retreat. The good thing though is that being sick has pretty much killed my appetite...okay so it's not really a good thing but you get the picture...

Quote of the Day

"Don't speak...don't speak...don't speak...go, go gentle Scorpio. Your Pisces wishes you well." -- Dianne Wiest, in Bullets over Broadway

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

My insulting name is Poobrain Donkeysucker!
What's yours?

My Mormon name is Bracken Denneth!
What's yours?

I actually like Bracken Denneth...sounds kinda cool....
I have a temperature of 100.4, I am coughing like I've been smoking for 20 years and can't get a decent breath in (and let's not talk about what this is doing to my ribs), sneezing up a storm (again with the ribs), popping Vitamin C drops as if they were Jelly Belly jelly beans, and I'm at work when I could be at home right now.

Why -- because the fucking "china doll" bitch I work with woke up and decided that she had too much pain in her neck and back to work...this is the fourth time she has pulled this in a month...now, I know I'm supposed to be sympathetic and all but hell...I'm in pain too and I'm at work. I'm sick and I'm at work. Suck it up and stop acting like such a fucking china doll. Actively do something to make your fucking ass better than sitting there and complaining about it...

Okay...off my soap box...

In other news, I saw the New Crush last night. He was looking very hot and the chest hair peeking out over the top of the shirt...well let's just say I was pretty damn skippy. Two nice kisses and one joke from me about the lack of tongue in the first kiss. He laughed the first time I said, "What...no tongue?" and then when he left and gave me a kiss goodbye I once again asked where the tongue was in that kiss. He laughed again and said, "Christmas."

I may have to hold him to that one... :) Now if I only knew which bus he was taking to retreat (if he's taking a bus at all...)...
Quote of the Day

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion. A woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold. -- Gloria Steinem

And one more other thing while I'm here...

Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?

Grover on Ecstasy You're funny, you're loveable, you're entertaining, you like to call yourself "Super Grover!"--You're obviously on ecstasy. But that's why we love you. Be careful, ok?

Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, December 02, 2002

What famous homosexual are you?

How spiffing! You're Alexander the Great!

Yeah, baby. You were the King of Macedonia, and conqueror of much of the world; you're responsible for the spread of Christianity, as well as Hellenistic society and even the Roman Empire. Your power was feared for thousands of miles around.

And how gay were you. When you'd conquered Persia, you fell in love with a male courtier from that court - scandalous in those days, because the Persians were believed to be uncivilised barbarians.

You were always really in love with your boyhood friend, Hephaestion, and when he died you were grief-stricken to a legendary degree: convinced that he would live on after death, you passed away soon afterwards.

Which Famous Homosexual are you?

* * *

What B-Celebrity are you?

You're utterly brilliant!

Oh wait, no, you're not. You're Timmy Mallett.

You achieved fame and success as the presenter of the shoestring budget children's morning show WACaday, which was an offshoot of equally low-budget Saturday show The Wide Awake Club. The latter spawned such successful names as Mike Myers and, um, Tommy Boyd, but it's you that's become the legend. You.

Why? Because of your incredible, unmistakable naffness; you wore bermuda shorts, loud shirts and the dodgy plastic novelty glasses that were all the rage in the eighties; you actually released a cover version of Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini; you had to change the format of your show because it was leading kids to hit each other over the heads with hammers. Oh wait, that last bit's cool.

These days you're a washed up has-been, but that doesn't stop you from trying. Bless.

You can tell the world that they mustn't pause, mustn't hesitate otherwise you'll get hit over the head like this or like this with the following foam mallet of a graphic:

Which annoying B-list celebrity are you?

* * *

What Evil Criminal Are You?

Congratulations, you're Henry Kissinger!

Widely viewed as an unindicted terrorist, only Pol Pot rivals you for being responsible for the most deaths of innocent people in South East Asia. You, in collaboration with the Nixon administration, helped put General Pinochet in power and kill Salvador Allende. You also helped coordinate the secret bombing of Cambodia.

And despite all that, you won a Nobel Peace Prize - for your work in Vietnam.

Which Evil Criminal are You?

* * *

And this one is for that special rugger out there who knows how to have way too much of a good time... :)

What kind of drunk are you?

Aww, give us a cuddle. You're an Emotional Drunk!

"But I thought he liked me. It was all going so well. I can't take it, you know? Not again. Why me, you know? My life is so fucking shit. I'm just a worthless piece of nothing shit. Everything I do is shit, or it turns to shit, or I turn it to shit."

- pause -

"You've got beautiful eyes ..."

What kind of drunk are you?
Today's link of note comes from Jim over at Objectionable Content....

Is psychic John Edward for real or just one big fat ass phony???
Hmmmm now this should be rather interesting. I'm seeing a 5-4 vote here...anyone else...now as to which direction the vote goes in...hmmm...well that remains to be seen....I'm betting that Souter, Kennedy, or even O'Conner will be the swing vote on this one...
My nose is stuffed up, I'm getting a haircut, and I want to die as my ribs were killing me this morning.

On the plus side...I get to see the New Crush tonight. I've brought along my new jeans as well...I'm happy now. I can face the day. New Crush had better be there tonight... :) Heck, even if Old Crush is there I can show off how dazzling I look...the new slimmer, trimmer me :)
Quote of the Day

"It's not true that life is one damn thing after another. It's one damn thing over and over."
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Sunday, December 01, 2002

Driving Miss Daisy was on this afternoon. After Thelma & Louise it is perhaps one of my favorite films. I'm into those relationship oriented films where you see the characters evolve around each other, the times, and situation. DMD is just one of those films that when I saw it I just sat there through the credits and as the cleaning crew came into the theatre because I was so in awe of what I had just seen. I dunno maybe it's just my Southern roots or something but it really hit me. I didn't cry at all during it but I was so moved by how these two people from such different backgrounds had come to not only like each other but, to a certain degree, love each other. In some sense, you could say they were an old married couple...some people say that the Oscar was wasted on this movie but I totally disagree. This movie is layer upon layer of history, sociology, and character analysis.
Why I love my gym

1) The big basket of fresh fruit always filled with oranges, apples, and bananas. I'm telling ya there's nothing like biting into a crisp Granny Smith apple at the end of a workout.

2) I get everything I want from weights to cardio and it doesn't cost me an arm and a leg.

3) They open early and close late.

4) The nice fluffy bath towels immediately available after you're done working out. And that don't bat and eye when you ask for a second one to take into the sauna with you.

5) The fact that on a Sunday afternoon, I was the only person working out in my gym for about two hours or so. Even better, there is practically no one there when I go to workout which means I can get in, get out, and get a good, effective workout without having to wait around for the machine of my desire.

Yep, I went to the gym this afternoon and did my hour on the runner. On the good side, I have met my first goal of doing 5.75 miles on the runner which means I have to do one of three things -- 1) Go up a level, 2) Change my workout program (the "Around the World" hill program sounds daunting enough), or 3) a combination of 1 and 2. I'm just pissed that the runner doesn't let me program 80 minutes into the machine since a full rugby match is 80 minutes. Doesn't matter if I can do the first 60 when it's the last 20 that really count. When all was said and done and the cool down complete...I did over six miles and burned over 1000 calories. Damn do I feel good...
I'm contemplating a trip to the gym today as I will be going on the chorus retreat this weekend and will miss a workout on Friday. Now, I know what you're all saying...Brian, how can that make much of a difference. Well, it does. Friday is a cardio day which means an hour on the elliptical runner which means I come off the machine dripping in sweat (and feeling fabulous...those last ten minutes are awesome) and I really don't want to put those nasty sweaty clothes into my bag that I'm taking upstate with me. Granted the place where we are going has a gym on site and I can make up the workout on Sunday (that would be a weights day) but then I don't get another day off from the gym until the following Sunday. I'm following a six day program alternating between cardio and weights and well...I don't like to get off schedule if I don't have to...

Anyway...I'm probably gonna do it but we shall see....Maybe I'll do cardio today and tomorrow...eh...I dunno....we'll see...

Friday, November 29, 2002

November's Moron of the Month

Hmmm...so if it wasn't to be sold on video it still would have been okay?
Okay one of the really cute French interns is standing near my desk and he's talking French to someone....I'm in heaven...
Brian's Thanksgiving Low-Down

1) Woke up at about 10:00 after a night of partying to celebrate the birthday of one of my rugby team members. Had a nice laugh in remembering some of the more interesting antics of the evening.

2) Went to the gym around noon and hit the weight room (Wednesday was cardio so Thursday was weights and Friday will be cardio). Surprisingly packed for a Thursday but most annoying were these two kids whose guardians pretty much ignored them while they sat on the inflatable balls and violently tossed the smaller ball back and forth to each other trying to knock them off of the ball. Even worse, in the locker room, the guardians were in the sauna while the other two were left to "play" in the room with the sink and the controls for the steam room. While I was getting undressed to hit the shower, they decided to peek around the corner and I gave them my patented look of death and they opted to go sit out in the lobby area of the gym.

3) Got home about 2:00 and spoke with one of my fellow ruggers who asked about the New Crush. Mind then wandered over to what the New Crush was doing for Thanksgiving.

4) ...

5) Opted to join the ruggers for a late Thanksgiving Day get together. We watched way too many episodes of Changing Rooms on BBC America and I was glad to know that I wasn't the only man who thought that Handy Andy Kane was a hottie. This was then followed up with a round of some odd game that Paul brought over where someone gave you an adjective and you had to look at the cards in your hand and pick the noun that best fits that adjective. Then the person that gave out the adjective had to pick what went best with it in their opinion. Well Paul, who brought the game, won and we decided to keep playing until we got a second winner which happened to be me. James Bond was my choice for the word "flirtatious." I also won with Colorful -- A Used Car Lot, Dangerous -- Canadians, and something else that escapes me at this point. As for the Canadians one, well...let me just say that I needed to get rid of either that card or the one marked "wheat" because I had held them in my hand for so long I just wanted to be rid of them. Now, only my close friends will understand why I picked Stephen King for the adjective normal. Poor Mark. I thought ht was about to blow a gasket when I picked that one.

6) A round of truth or dare ensued. Dares included licking someone's ear for a minute, mooning the neighbors, sitting your underwear for three questions, licking mash potatoes off of someone's chest, and maintaining a kiss from one ankle to another (for that you have to imagine a man standing up and someone kissing the arc of the legs...) Far too many truths revealed...

7) Home very late in the morning...decided to head to the gym after work rather than first thing in the morning so I could get some extra sleep.

Oy vey, I am still tired...