What famous homosexual are you?

How spiffing! You're Alexander the Great!

Yeah, baby. You were the King of Macedonia, and conqueror of much of the world; you're responsible for the spread of Christianity, as well as Hellenistic society and even the Roman Empire. Your power was feared for thousands of miles around.

And how gay were you. When you'd conquered Persia, you fell in love with a male courtier from that court - scandalous in those days, because the Persians were believed to be uncivilised barbarians.

You were always really in love with your boyhood friend, Hephaestion, and when he died you were grief-stricken to a legendary degree: convinced that he would live on after death, you passed away soon afterwards.


Which Famous Homosexual are you?

* * *

What B-Celebrity are you?

You're utterly brilliant!

Oh wait, no, you're not. You're Timmy Mallett.

You achieved fame and success as the presenter of the shoestring budget children's morning show WACaday, which was an offshoot of equally low-budget Saturday show The Wide Awake Club. The latter spawned such successful names as Mike Myers and, um, Tommy Boyd, but it's you that's become the legend. You.

Why? Because of your incredible, unmistakable naffness; you wore bermuda shorts, loud shirts and the dodgy plastic novelty glasses that were all the rage in the eighties; you actually released a cover version of Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini; you had to change the format of your show because it was leading kids to hit each other over the heads with hammers. Oh wait, that last bit's cool.

These days you're a washed up has-been, but that doesn't stop you from trying. Bless.

You can tell the world that they mustn't pause, mustn't hesitate otherwise you'll get hit over the head like this or like this with the following foam mallet of a graphic:


Which annoying B-list celebrity are you?

* * *

What Evil Criminal Are You?

Congratulations, you're Henry Kissinger!

Widely viewed as an unindicted terrorist, only Pol Pot rivals you for being responsible for the most deaths of innocent people in South East Asia. You, in collaboration with the Nixon administration, helped put General Pinochet in power and kill Salvador Allende. You also helped coordinate the secret bombing of Cambodia.

And despite all that, you won a Nobel Peace Prize - for your work in Vietnam.


Which Evil Criminal are You?

* * *

And this one is for that special rugger out there who knows how to have way too much of a good time... :)

What kind of drunk are you?

Aww, give us a cuddle. You're an Emotional Drunk!

"But I thought he liked me. It was all going so well. I can't take it, you know? Not again. Why me, you know? My life is so fucking shit. I'm just a worthless piece of nothing shit. Everything I do is shit, or it turns to shit, or I turn it to shit."

- pause -

"You've got beautiful eyes ..."


What kind of drunk are you?