Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Hmmmm....I know there is no connection between the two things but it's a little funny that someone I know mentions that he just got a prescription for a certain impotency drug (to counteract the effects of his other meds) and then he asks for my cell phone number... :)

Okay, it just cracked me up to no end...
Okay I saw this at Gawker and it reminded me of what has to be one of the gayest moments of my life (and being a gay man I can say that).

I don't remember the exact day but I was watching an episode of Letterman and Rosie O'Donnell (pre-"I'm gonna come out of the closet right as my talk show is going off the air") was the first guest and when she came out, I did this quick double take on her. I swore she was wearing the same dress that she wore when she was a presenter at the Academy Awards the year before. Now I have no idea how that instantly popped into my head but I turned to my friend and actually commented on it which then led to a short discussion on whether or not the dresses they get for these shows are borrowed, rented, bought, sold at slave auctions...the normal stuff. Basically it came down to me saying that it was the dress and my friend Bob saying it wasn't.

Now, I was about to go through my entire video collection to see if I had taped that year's Oscars and if so did I still have that scene on tape. However, I didn't need to go through any tapes as Rosie came out and said that it was in fact the dress she had worn to the Oscars that year. All I could think was, "And you couldn't find anything else to wear on Letterman?" The second thing I thought, "There is no way in hell that ANY other actress (A list, B list, or even D-minus list) would do that..."
Quote of the Day

Today I dialed a wrong number. The other person said, ''Hello?'' and I said, ''Hello, could I speak to Joey?'' They said, ''Uh, I don't think so...he's only 2 months old.'' I said, ''I'll wait. -- Steven Wright

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

I've come to a conclusion...

I'm too nice.

This weekend, I pulled myself from the starting line up of our rugby match to let another guy have playing time. Now mind you, this guy is big and strong, however, he is not fast nor does he have a large amount of aerobic stamina. I on the other hand am not as strong as him but I have the stamina he lacks to move from scrums to rucks and mauls. Additionally, he has more experience playing than I do as he has been with the team longer and may even have additional experience outside of the club. However, in our match against the team from Suffolk, I replaced him in the starting line up.

This has been an odd season for my position (prop forward). Last season, there were two men who started in those positions. One got injured midseason and was replaced (and quite well I might add) by one of the subs. I started the season way too late to really make much of an impact in a game so I threw myself into off season training to get into better shape for the upcoming season with the hopes of even being a sub on the starting line up. Well I made the starting team squad but knew that I had a lot of work ahead of me. But this is where it gets odd...

One of the starting props said he was taking the spring season off but yet he still came to practices and has, ultimately, played in a few games. We'll call him Bob. The other prop I fully expected to play opposite him in the spring season and I would see time as either a sub or starting on the "B" side. We'll call him Ed. With the exception of this past weekend where I voluntarily pulled myself out of the starting line up saying my knees weren't 100% (and they are not as I am seeing the specialist tomorrow), I have started all three games from the spring season. But, to be honest, I lied a bit this weekend. I could have played. I wanted to play. I was just being respectful of someone's feelings.

This entire season I've wondered where I was going to wind up -- starting or subbing. The first match (muddy Boston), I started opposite Ed since Bob was just going to observe and, as of that point, was still taking the spring season off. The second match (Hudson Valley), I started opposite Bob since it was tax weekend and Ed, an accountant, was off finishing the last of the taxes. The third match (Suffolk Co.), both Bob and Ed showed up. When the captain pulled out the jerseys (or is that spelled jersies?), Ed immediately went and grabbed #3, the number for the tight head prop and put it on. The shock came when he had to take the jersey off because he wasn't starting the game.

I was.

I had replaced Ed in the starting line up and he wasn't happy about it. I later learned he started making comments on the sidelines about how he could have slept in for another hour if he wasn't going to start the game along with comments that he expected playing time since he was a long time member of the team and didn't think he should be sitting on the sidelines. These comments were echoed to me on Saturday along with a complaint that no one knew who was in the starting line up and therefore we couldn't plan appropriately for the match (etc etc). I told him that he was "preaching to the choir" and if he had an issue he should take it up with the coach who was standing nearby. As far as I know, he never did.

For some reason, I got concerned that Ed would quit the team because he wasn't starting this match. I had a good idea that I would be starting in his stead but I wasn't going to say anything and I was going to let coach make the determination. But, for some reason, I went to coach and requested not to be put into the starting line up because of my knees when it was really to salvage Ed's pride.

WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT? I earned my fucking spot but showing up to practice, working out on a regular basis, listening in drills, improving my play, everything. Why was I so concerned about making sure that Ed felt okay about his position on the team and so forth? What crack was I on? I wanted to play in the game so bad. I wanted to be in there kicking some ass and making my presence known (or at least my evil twin Skippy) and helping our team out where it counted. What really hurt was having one of the locks (the men who are behind me in the scrum) come up to me and tell me that I had to get better soon since, in his opinion, I do a much better job than Ed.

Argh. I'm kicking myself. I really am.
Okay and just to ask since I am in the info gathering process...if you have ever been skydiving in the NY/NJ/CT area and had a good experience and a nice price, etc etc. Let me know. A few of us are getting together to skydive and we need some recommendations.

And while I'm at it can someone tell me why teh Ruthie Henshall version of "Maybe This Time" from Cabaret is running through my head it would be appreciated....
Quote of the Day

So, Mark, when are you finally going to make an honest man out of me? -- yours truly proposing to one of the members of the NYC Gay Men's Chorus last night in a truly blasé manner...

Monday, April 28, 2003

Quote Conversation of the Day

Flotilla DeBarge: Doesn't he look cute in this outfit? I just want to put him in my pocket, take him home, and play Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets with him.

Yours truly: Flotilla, we know what's in your chamber of secrets. Size 18 heels and fishnets.

-- A conversation between the two hosts of the Gotham Knights Rugby Football Club Bachelor Auction as Flotilla admired my tuxedo tails, shirt, gold vest, bowtie, rugby shorts, socks, and boots.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

Just a small note because I am really tired and can't go into much detail but I just wanted to share with you...


I promise to tell you more tomorrow...but there's something just fabulous about having a drag queen on stage that's more than six and a half feet tall (in heels mind you) and with a heart of gold... :) Or was that just her lipstick?

Friday, April 25, 2003

So I sent out these emails yesterday afternoon to our team, our fan mailing list, and a few other rugby mailing lists to publicize the bachelor auction this weekend. Each person's date package was listed with a short description that built up the date a bit and helped to give a little oomph to the program and each person's date package. I mean you can say you're taking someone to America for dinner but if you've never been there and don't know their cuisine then you may not bid on it.

The reaction was amazing. People from all over the country (not to mention a few people in London) wanted to find out how they could phone in a bid on our men. I wasn't prepared for the outpouring of carnal desire -- for the date packages I mean. :) It was flattering for me since I wrote the program but also for our men for having such desirable date packages that people from far away would actually want to bid on our men. So I went to practice and I talked it up and let people know of the emails I had received and so forth and went home feeling much better about this event than I have in quite some time knowing that the men up for auction would feel good about the fact that they had support out there.

That lasted until I got to my emails. Sitting in the middle of all of them is the team's biggest pessimist who told me that my email was BORING and he got lost after the first three people (which didn't surprise me coming from him), and that I had not properly planned it out or else it would have been shorter and to the point and I could have alreayd made arrangements for people to bid over the phone. Instead of going into detail, I should have just put the barebone minimum information down (which he then proceeded to show me...). I told him that it was because of that email that we got such a huge response and I just learned of the cell phone bidders that day. I mean please...he hasn't been working on this (and in fact pulled out of the auction last week because of HIS poor planning) so he can fuck off and die. Oddly enough, he's the ONLY one to complain the entire time about the email. It's really gotten people excited and go fuck yourself.

My only pleasure was in knowing that he got the crap beaten out of him during practice during a ball handling drill and the coach told him that he was going to have to learn to take the hits from the big guys as well as everyone else. I'm talking he got hit to the ground hard...I think it was just his karma backfiring on him for being such a shit.

And in true Gawker-whore fashion, can I just say I was zeta-jonesing on my Chinese food last night after rugby practice...hmmmm.....I must put this word into greater usage...
Quote of the Day

Karma...ain't it a bitch? -- Yours truly last night at rugby practice watching one particular rugger get the crap beaten out of him on the pitch following a few snippy emails he had sent me.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

Since I'm hitting near the anniversary of my first year of blogging, I've added a subtitle to my blog just to really put things in perspective here

Tales From the City: Where Depth Takes a Holiday

The subtitle might stick around for a while...I may change it up...but right's a depth free zone for today...and maybe for a while... :)
Sadly today is Bring Your Genetic Mutants To Work Day. I have never liked these days at the office and it all stems back to working for Merrill Lynch and my boss's two bratty daughters. Okay, her oldest wasn't that bad. Her youngest I wanted to beat within an inch of her life.

Her youngest daughter, on my first Bring Your Poster Children for Birth Control to Work Day at Merrill Lynch, her daughter treated me like crap and when she took one of her consorts into her mother's office, she referred me as her mother's secretary and asked me to bring them some water while they worked on their assignment for their group project. I politely told her that I was not her mother's secretary, took out two styrofoam cups from the party supply drawer near my desk, and pointed them to the water fountain.

She wasn't having any of this and said (with one hand on her jutted hip), "But you work for my mother."

I looked at her and very sternly said (as my patience was wearing thin), "Yes. I work for her. Not for you."

Pause. "Well, I'm going to tell her you wouldn't help us." With that, she took the cups and got her own water. I ran into my boss in the hall about ten minutes later and told her what had happened. She apologized profusely and said she would talk with her and it wouldn't happen again.

Fast forward to the next Oh Dear God You Brought Her With You To Work Again? Day and the youngest daughter proceeded to treat me like shit again. Fax this. Email that. Could you answer the phone? Then came the bomb that almost sank my career there...

"Has my mother called me back yet?" she asked in her snippy tone when she returned from one of her group meetings. I, myself, was thankfully in a training class that day and was using my lunch hour to catch on my work for the day and hadn't even been to my desk once that day.

"I wouldn't know. I've been in class myself today."

"Well, I called her on her cell phone and she said she would call me back and I've been waiting for her so we can go to lunch. Can you go get her?"

That's when I had it. I put down my sandwich, took my hands off of the keyboard, stood up, and in front of my coworkers told the nine year old where to shove it in the most adult way possible. I then left my desk to cool off, was lucky enough to run into one of my boss' colleagues who told me that my boss was in fact waiting for her daughter in the lobby to come down for lunch and I took off to meet her before her brood did. I again explained what happened and what I did and everyone else who could back me up. I then told her that I was not going to be treated that way by her daughter again (she also had a habit of getting rude on the phone with me) and if it persisted, I would leave the office for the rest of the day because her actions were totally unwarranted and I was not going to take orders from an eight year old. My boss listened and just as I was leaving, her youngest daughter showed up.

I later learned after I left Merrill Lynch that my boss had not once talked to her daughter about how she treated me and in fact thought that I was just overreacting to the situation. Everyone who heard her daughter, though, sided with me.

Maybe this is why I need to wait some more before becoming a parent.
Quote of the Day

Oh's not "Bring Your Spawn to Work Day" is it? -- Yours truly noting the plethora of young children at work sure to drive me nuts.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

A few things off the top of my head...

Okay I keep finding this link ( in my stats and when I click on it, it's ID and password are you? Mildly curious here...

Okay I got a note today from Wrestler guy today as we're working on some auction stuff and he wants to make sure that everyone up for auction has fun and goes for a nice price and all. So he knows my date involves dinner for 2 at 11 Madison Park and he closes out his email saying, "Fear not, Skippy (my nickname on the team), I'll back you up. I love Madison Park." Make me swoon why don't you???

Now, later this week (most likely tomorrow), I'm going to list the entire set of date packages as they presently exist. There are a few doozies out there and some people have REALLY gone out of their way to do well...all I gotta hope is that we bring in the cash which means I would love for you to come to my party and revel with my teammates and buy a few raffle tickets. You don't have to bid on a guy but just come and have fun. Think of it as cocktail hour with two fabulous hosts auctioning off lots of cute men...

Hmmm what else was there...oh war for us has to be USA vs. France. That should be fun for me since I work for a French company. Bomb the wine region! LOL

Speaking of I mentioned before, I went to my first seder earlier this week (should that be a capitalized "S" in seder/Seder?) and I was to bring a few bottles of wine. Now, I don't know much about wine as it is and I was told to bring about three or four bottles. Now mind you, I didn't want to shell out a lot of cash because frankly, after setting up the payment plan to pay down my debt, paying my accountant to do my taxes, and everything else...well...let's just say I wasn't rolling in the bling bling. I wasn't even bling. I was maybe bl if anything.

So I talked to the woman at the wine store and said what I needed but it didn't have to fancy stuff but I at least wanted it to be a decent wine. She picked out an Australian merlot ($7.99), a Chilean merlot ($6.99), a South African Chardonnay ($6.99), and an Argentinean Chardonnay ($7.99). With taxes, a little over $30 for wine that this woman I had never met picked out for me and swore everyone would like.

People thought this stuff was of the $20 per bottle variety when they were drinking it. They were complimenting me on my wine expertise. They thought I had gone to town at the wine store. Now as much as I wanted them to believe their own hype, I laid down the truth about the cost of the wine and they were in shock. "What do you mean this was a seven dollar bottle of wine? This is the best stuff I've had in years and I buy the relly good stuff!" said one shocked woman.

The sad thing is..I don't even know what I picked out so I can never buy it again unless I recognize the label design.

Sucks to be me. At least in that case...

Next story involves Eduardo. Let's see did I blog about Eduardo? Yes I did when I talked about my dating spree as of late. Well Eduardo wanted to get together again the Friday after our Tuesday date and I said sure. He said for me to call him when I got home from the gym and he would tell me where to meet him. No big whoop right? So I called and left a message. He never called back at all. Ever. Not even to apologize.

So last night, one of my fellow ruggers was driving me and another teammate home. This other teammate knows Eduardo and we're talking about the men we like and Austin said, "Oh we know you're type. Eduardo." I responded, "Whatever, he hasn't returned my calls so I've written him off." Now mind you, this is a few weeks after my date with Eduardo and this is what Austin finally decides to tell me, "Yeah. He's a real flake. I was kinda surprised you went out with him."

Gee. Nice to know that after the fact.

So...let's, Eduardo, France, odd link....yeah I think I covered it all. Oh plea...

Since Jing Hau brought it up, I guess I should expand a bit on my feelings about The Bachelor and his date with Amber. Amber is a quiet girl and she was picked, according to what we saw on the show, based on her looks alone. When he got her on the date, he learned that she was quiet and not much of a talker. The best part was when she asked him about his favorite restaurant chain. You saw him light up for a second when she got to the word restaurant and then just plummet when he heard the word "chain." Then the fact that she couldn't separate Italian food from Olive Garden cuisine was a bit laughable.

I mean we saw the date and it was uncomfortable to watch as it must have been for him to go on. She thought it was a great date while Andrew thought it was the pits. Just from watching I thought it was the pits because there was nothing in there that showed us she really wanted to get to know him better or put herself in a position where she was open to his questions. Compare her date to any of the other dates. Hers was definitely the worst.

I'm sure Amber is a nice woman and has many friends and when she comes out of her shell she's great to be with and be around. However, that did not come through last week whatsoever. We saw her more animated when she was stuffing her face at the invitation night than when she was on that date. I would not have given her a rose either.
Quote of the Day

...and she deserves so much better than this. Especially after doing Swept Away. -- Passenger on the 1 train on the way into work today after reading the reviews of Madonna's new album.

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Right now I would really like to say something profound about how this week has gone so far but I think I'll just sum it up in a few words.

Not that I ever watch gay porn but if I ever caught one of these films in my VCR, I think I would immediately go blind.
Quote of the Day

...and I have to paw prints on my ass now -- from the match thank you! -- A fellow rugby player remarking on the "impression" I left on him.

Monday, April 21, 2003

Sometime today I hit 50,000 hits. Apparently it happened at 1:16 in the afternoon when I was cursing rather loudly about something. But wow.
Monday Meltdown

Okay…let’s see…where do I begin?

China and SARS – Nice work there, China. Let the entire world get infected with SARS while you under-report the number of people actual infected. Nice. Very nice. Of course, this would probably put you in Bush’s “axis of evil” or something like that. Who knows.

Our new 51st state and its governor?

Sammy Sosa's helmet cracked when it was hit with a baseball and supposedly he's okay afterwards. That must have been some helmet.

I finally got the one holdout I was looking for to commit to doing the bachelor auction. I did a happy dance.

I went to a non-traditional Passover seder yesterday. Yes, I know Passover was Thursday night (or something like that) and that's one of the reasons why it was a non-traditional seder. Actually, it was a very moving evening for me and there was this wonderful woman named Tricia (if that's not how it's spelled then oh well) who gave a very moving speech at the end of the service when we went around and talked about how the seder had impacted us. She was not Jewish (as were many of the people in the room) but she talked about being a chef and how the entire thing resonated with her from a food standpoint and what it meant to the Jewish faith and I was moved by her speech and well...we did a toast in her honor. I had never been to a seder before being raised Southern Baptist...I was just thankful that when we got to singing "This Little Light of Mine" it was a song I knew. And for the record..."Chad Gadyo" is one fucked up song...

Scott Peterson was (supposedly) found with $10,000, his brother's ID, blondish hair and a goatee when he was arrested. Well we know the hair and goatee part is true. Anyway, should I be repulsed by the fact that I thought he looked hot with the goatee? And while I'm at it, I know that everyone is supposed to have their fifteen minutes of fame, but wouldn't this just be the worst way in the world to have them?

Rugby this weekend – we lost and I went out in the first half of the first match with my knees just killing me after I had been picked up out of a ruck and slammed to the ground landing on the knee that I had only wrapped but not put into a brace. I limped to the try line where our scrumhalf was pushing for me to leave the game since I was pretty much just hobbling off the field and I insisted on finishing out the half. Well that was the plan until pain shot up my thighs and there was no way I could finish the half. One Celebrex later and I was playing in the second match (first half only and for the opposition of all things) and managed to get a few good hits in on my own guys but my knees were screaming at me all night. No I shouldn’t have played the second half but the opposition needed a few guys to fill out the second side and I said I would do it for a half even though my body was going, “Why are you doing this to me? What have I done to you to cause me such anguish?” On top of it all, I started the game again and actually took a starting position away from someone I never thought I would replace and was a good, but scary feeling. I talked to the coach that night at the drink up and we made a deal that I would tell him how I felt about playing following Thursday's practice so he could take the appropriate measures.

Then there was the guy on our team I propositioned at the post match drink up (well more flirting than propositioned because if he had taken me up on it I have no idea of what I would have even done). Now mind you, he’s got to be at least six and a half feet tall (the top of my head barely reaches his chin) and he’s absolutely adorable. What I didn’t know was that he’s still married (as in “married to a woman” married) as I thought he was dating this guy who lived on the Upper East Side (well more than dating was my original thought but I’ll stick to dating) and is working his way out of the marriage (although I think they still live together). Anyway, I got this super sweet email from him this weekend after the matching asking how my knees were and pretty much just saying that he needed some time to get his head together and get past the rough patch he's in at the moment. Of course I'm NOT reading into the fact that he called me a "hottie"...well technically it was a "fuckin hottie" (his spelling not mine) but that's beside the point. Why did I bring this up? I have no idea...maybe it's because he also mentioned he had two "paw prints" on his ass that had to come courtesy of yours truly from lifting him during the match... :)

Bachelor Auction -- Next Saturday. Are you coming? I need people to bid on my men...and dammit if you take the wrestler I will beat you silly...
Quote of the Day

Life never promised you anything but heartaches. It's up to you to find the happiness. -- Unknown

Friday, April 18, 2003

So I went to the doctor yesterday and he is referring me to a knee specialist. Before I left, he did give me some samples of Celebrex to take but I'm going to hold off taking my first one until after the match this weekend should I get the chance to play which I hope I do knee nothwithstanding. I have a referral to see a knee specialist so I can see if I need physical therapy (please, oh please, oh please) or surgery (no way in hell, you can wait until after the rugby season for that.

Speaking of which if you want to come see the match it's on Field 20 on Randall's Island. Take the M35 bus over the Triboro Bridge and it's the first stop once you cross the bridge. Basically just ring for a stop once you get on the bridge and you'll be fine. Then it's just a short walk to the fields across the street. You can pick up the bus at 125th and Lex and our matches start at 1:00.

Quote Conversation of the Day

Reporter: How old were you when you started playing drums?

Child Performer: Eleven.

Reporter: Eleven years old?

Child: Yep.

Reporter: And how old are you now?

Child: Four.

Reporter: Wow, then you really got an early start.

Thursday, April 17, 2003

My knees hurt. I'm going to see the doctor.
Quote of the Day

It's weird when pregnant women feel the baby kicking. They say, 'Oh my god. He's kicking. Do you wanna feel it?' I always feel awkward reaching over there. Come on! It's weird to ask someone to feel your stomach. I don't do that when I have gas. ''Oh my god...give me your hand...It won't be long now... -- Andy Rooney

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Our captain had a groin pull/injury/something in our match this weekend. I just learned they had to drain his groin....just the images of that are so painful, it's making me forget how much my knee hurts...
I better see a whole bunch of you rugby season will be over and I will be ready to boogie...oh I going to Boston that weekend...hmmm....oh geez....

Quote of the Day

And this one goes out to Byrne who will know exactly who said it and why it will bring a smile to my face all day long...

Yeah, I saw that picture and I started laughing out loud...Skippy was making me go pitter patter, pitter patter. -- a fellow rugby teammate who was sent the picture below of me at the last rugby match.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

For the record, I'm really not saying this, but it's the press release for the team's bachelor auction. I hope all of you can attend and help us raise a lot of money!

Come support the men of New York’s first and only Gay Rugby team, THE GOTHAM KNIGHTS RFC. These manly men are putting themselves up for grabs in efforts to raise funds for the team and Free Arts for Abused Children NYC. Twenty Five members of the team have put together incredible date packages that include Kickboxing/wrestling lessons, tickets to Stomp, Naked Boys Singing, Cirque du Soleil, a broadcast of World News Tonight with Peter Jennings, museum exhibit opening, Carson Daly's late night talk show, dinner for two prepared in your home by a gourmet chef…and much more...

·WHERE: SBNY, 50 West 17th Street (Between 5th & 6th Avenues)
·TIME: 1 – 5 PM

COST: SUGGESTED $10 donation.

All contributions are tax deductible to the fullest extent under current tax law. The Gotham Knights RFC is a 501(c)(3) organization.

A portion of the proceeds go to benefit Free Arts for Abused Children NYC

The mission of Gotham RFC is to:
Increase diversity within the sport of rugby football
Refute negative stereotypes
Create a welcoming and encouraging learning environment for new ruggers
Create a competitive team on both local and national levels

Ugh. Nothing to say today. Enjoy.
Quote of the Day

He looks like a dwarf that fell into a vat of pubic hair. -- Boy George on Prince

Monday, April 14, 2003

I guess my evil twin Skippy did come out to play on Sunday.....take a look....

Monday Meltdown

Well I had a rugby match this weekend. We lost but I was much much happier with my performance in this match vs. the match we had in Boston two weeks ago. I played stronger, harder, and rougher. I think it was because I let my evil twin Skippy do all of the work while I just sat back and watched. Skippy played a hard match that's for sure. I have the bruises to show for it including one on each forearm and one on my inner thigh. My hands hurt from where I was stepped on but that's okay. One guy on my team though got a black eye. He's so gonna get all the men now.

I'm trying to find the article that I read on AOL last night somewhere on Yahoo News or something because it basically quotes Tommy Franks (the guy in charge of our troops in Iraq) saying that as of yet they had found no weapons of mass destruction but had a list of over 3,000 places to go check for them. Hmmm. And yet somehow George Bush thought the UN weapons inspectors could get through all of that in a few days. Imagine that. Update...found the article here

... (because I can)

The bachelor auction is coming along well and I would love to see some of you come out and bid on our guys (for the record, I typed "gays" first before correcting it to "guys," but either way it works). Now, yes, all of our men in the auction are gay but I don't care what you have between your legs or what gets you off...if you have money and want to bid on one of our men I am damn well gonna take it! Currently we have on the block (with more that I'm not telling you about) -- wrestling lessons, dinner prepared in your home by a gourmet chef, tickets to Stomp, Naked Boys Singing, Take Me Out, Cirque du Soleil etc (all with dinner), dinner at 11 Madison Park including a tour of the kitchen from the executive chef with a small lesson on how the evening's meal is prepared, a wine pairing with your meal, and a bag of treats as you leave, a evening which includes sitting in on the broadcast of World News Tonight and a lot more...come and bid and make me happy...

Kumquat. I just love that word.

Truck stops and rugby teams. Two things that should not be combined. Nothing sexual mind you. Just kinda scary. For the other people there.

McDonald's double cheeseburgers. Nectar of the Gods.

Quote of the Day

Ev'rybody's doin' a brand new dance now... -- Little Eva, from her hit song, "The Loco-Motion", who passed away recently.

Friday, April 11, 2003

It was only a matter of time before this happened. So let's play "Cast the Lead" and figure out who will play our heroine....

I'm voting Jennifer Garner...
What is it with rugby and rain?

March 30 -- Rain in Boston. We leave the match covered in mud.

This weekend -- Rain in NYC and Hudson Valley where we are most assuredly going to be slathered in mud yet again.

Then we have a GLORIOUS and BEAUTIFUL week of weather but what does say is going to happen at our April 19 match. You got it. Rain.

I should invest in a laundry detergent company or something.
Quote of the Day

I'm a cross between a dominatrix and Julie McCoy. -- Yours truly to his fellow rugby players in describing his new position of social chair.

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Someone tell me why I just spent the last ten minutes reading this when it doesn't even come close to applying to me???
So I heard back from my accountant today about my taxes....and here's the sordid story....

I'm getting money back (which I will use to pay on the debt) however it will be a while before I can get it and here's why...

This accountant fucked up my 2000 tax return and he has to redo them totally. Because the 2000 return was fucked up, the IRS says I owe an additional $1300+ in taxes. Well it's all because we put the wrong tax form under my Schedule C (for my side business) when it should have gone on the 1040 and the IRS said I never claimed that salary on my return. Well I did just on the wrong form. So, on that tax return alone, I had to also shell out money for FICA Medicare and FICA Social Security since I had a profit and I had to pay in both the employer and employee portion of it...ANYWAY...I got a letter about this and I talked to the lady at the IRS and she said I just needed to refile the 2000 taxes with the money corrected and they will take care of the rest.

But, since my 2002 tax return will hit before the 2000 correction, the $1300+ I "owe" in taxes from 2000 will be deducted from my 2002 return (leaving me with about $150 from that return) and only when the 2000 return has been reprocessed (which it has to hand no less) then they will go back and refund me that money plus any other money I am owed from 2000. And that can take MONTHS before I will get to see a dime. And it pisses me off....

But at least I will have some money to pay off the rest of my bills... :)
I was reminded in an email that I needed to talk about the “explosion” in my love life. So here goes nothing…

First I had a date last Saturday night. We went and had burgers at McHales and then caught the 12:30AM showing of CHICAGO at the Ziegfeld. It was actually pretty cool since there were only about eight of us in the theatre at that hour and I got see the movie closer than I had before when I always opted for the stadium style seating towards the rear of the theatre.

Now through dinner and the movie it was all rather nice and respectful. We didn’t try anything in the theatre. Not even the “arm stretch in the air followed by putting the arm around the guy” move. When the movie was over, daylight savings time had kicked in so we lost an additional hour in the theatre making it about 3:30 in the morning when we finally left. Since it was rather late and I had a lot to do on Sunday (laundry, clean my apartment, work out, rugby team benefit) I agreed to walk him home (and be a gentleman) and ultimately agreed to go up to his apartment for a little while.

Ultimately, he wound up giving me a back massage and we made out on his bed. No sex just making out. Actually we decided that it would best if we didn’t go any farther because it could be a bad thing. So we just made out and I wound up getting home around six in the morning.

Sunday night, I’m at the rugby team’s bar night at The Web and as the social chair for the team, I have to be…well…social. I greeted people, talked to some of the players from the women’s team that came out to support us and did a few jello shots with the guys (not to mention nipple shots but that’s something else altogether), and hosted the raffle later that evening (where I was thankful that we had a winner on the first ticket drawn since a lot of people had left already).

Now, before I left, I was introduced to Eduardo, a guy who came to the benefit with a teammate. From what I later learned, he specifically asked to meet me since I was being the social chair/diva/dominatrix that I am and didn’t get a chance to really meet him. Anyway, we made plans for a date later that week and we exchanged phone numbers. Well he called the following night and we talked for about two hours before we both decided it was time to go to bed.

We did have our date and let me just say he is a damn good kisser.

And then there’s Union Girl doing her damnedest to set me up with people as well.

What is going on people???
Sigh. I'm working on improving my karma this year and in doing so I'm also ridding myself of the rest of my credit card debt (I got rid of all my cards about two years ago yet the debt lingers). To do so, I entered into a super ass strict payment arrangement with one card company by which I must financially cripple myself this month (and I do mean cripple) in order to agree to their terms (which aren't so bad after this month is over). Well, pretty much the first payment is the crippling payment (one third of my outstanding debt which pretty much wipes out the rest of my savings) the rest is just gravy. Maybe I can start putting some of my stuff up for sale on eBay again. I still have a lot of playbills I can sell and I did make quite a bit of cash off it when I did it a few years ago...

But at least I will have less debt when the year is over and that's what is really important, no?
Quote of the Day

Journalists cover words and delude themselves into thinking they have committed journalism. -- Hedrick Smith

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

I swear I work with morons...

Case in point, I get on the elevator on the 14th floor and this woman proceeds to walk off the elevator before realizing it's not her floor. She repeats this when the elevator stops on the 15th floor, 17th floor, and 18th floor. When we get to the 19th floor, her floor mind you, she fails to get off the elevator, then curses loudly when she realizes this AFTER the doors have closed and we're heading to my floor.

Since Dee thinks I should put this story up because it's short and funny (not to mention highly embarassing to myself), here goes nothing.

The Story of Brian and the Cat Urine

This goes back to when I was in second or third grade and living in Clemmons, North Carolina, so you have to bear with me just a bit. On this day, the weather service said it was supposed to rain so I grabbed my yellow vinyl/plastic/latex/whatever raincoat but my mother told me and my sister that it wasn't going to rain so we wouldn't need them after all.

Now instead of doing the smart thing and hanging my raincoat back up, I proceeded to throw it on the floor and go to school. And yes, it eventually did rain that day and I had nothing to protect me from the rain when I got off the bus to go home. Now, when we got home, I discovered a big puddle in the middle of my raincoat and I assumed that the roof had leaked.

"Taste it," my sister said.

So I did. It was nasty and salty and was, quite unmistakably, the taste of urine. The cat had peed in my raincoat. Yummy..
Quote of the Day

It's OK for him to ponce about in the kitchen spending hours cooking, but I bet he doesn't have to juggle picking up the kids from school and running a house. -- An un-named mother's response to M. Blanc.

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

Tuesday Tune-Out

I know, Monday Meltdown's haven't been done in a while so it's time for a Tuesday Tune-Out where I can get everything out there and off my mind...

Okay NYC said you wanted a dinner let's do one...who's in....and suggestions as to where to have it?

Also, I'll have to blog some time today about the recent..what's the word I'm looking for....explosion(?) my dating life...

As for the bachelor auction, it seems people really like Package #4...I'm still debating everything but it looks like that would be a good if I only knew how much people would ostenisbly bid on it...

I did a workout last night with some of the guys from the rugby team. It was more of a weight lifting evening as I did my first ever sets of military presses, unassisted squats, and cleans (and I think something else but I don't remember). My left arm is twitching just a bit but I think it's from the blood vessels and possibly their new freedom to have the blood freely move through the system (or something like that).

The rugby team made about $500 at our bar night this past weekend. But all of you need to come to our bachelor auction...we have a lot of great guys and date packages lined up...who wants to attend the broadcast of World News Tonight with Peter Jennings?

Kumquats. Nothing else. Just wanted to say the word.

Union Girl is going to try to set me up on a date with someone in the chorus. She also finds it odd that since I joined the chorus as an associate member in 1998, I haven't had sex with a single chorine. I'd just like to think I have standards. Sometimes.

My coworker who uses her on-the-job injury to her advantage (many days off each month and leaving early multiple days for "doctor" appointments with practically no repercussions from management) left early again this morning. I wanted to throttle her.

No rugby practice tonight. With all the rain I have to wonder if there will be a game this weekend.

Quote of the Day

When you cook it should be an act of love. To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child is an act of hate. -- Top chef Raymond Blanc

Monday, April 07, 2003

Okay one more poll to help me finalize what I will be doing for the team's bachelor auction. Here are my final options, so please vote and let me know what you personally would want to bid on if you were at the auction.

Package #1 -- Breakfast at Tiffanys (croissants and coffee in front of Tiffanys before a la Audrey Hepburn in the famed movie followed by a walk through the store to view the diamonds), a three hour horse drawn carriage ride through Central Park with a knowledgeable driver giving a detailed description of all the famous spots while also pointing to lesser known areas and facts about the Park's extraordinary landscaping and history followed by dinner at a French restaurant in Union Square.

Package #2 -- A two hour horseback trail ride followed by a dinner at a French restaurant in Union Square (the dinner is alreayd donated if you haven't guessed).

Package #3 -- Tandem skydiving in Long Island or New Jersey followed by dinner for two at McHales (because you can't have French food after you've just jumped out of a need MEAT!).

Package#4 -- Dinner for two and kitchen tour with Chef Kerry Heffernan at 11 Madison Park. "This delightful evening begins with a private tour of the kitchen by renowned Chef Kerry Heffernan. Kerry will describe the ingredients and techniques used to prepare the special meal of the evening. Then sit back and enjoy a five course tasting extravaganza, with the option of a wine pairing that will delight, surprise and intoxicate the taste buds. And if that weren't enough, continue to enjoy the memory of this delicious evening with a bag of goodies specially prepared to be taken home."

So which would you choose?

Which date package would you bid on?


Free polls from

Quote of the Day

Richard Simmons is to exercise what Liberace is to playing the piano. -- Gilda Radner

Friday, April 04, 2003

There’s a reason why I love playing rugby and it’s not because of the shower scenes (although the last one we had was so un-erotic that someone even commented that it was odd to have that many gay men in a shower stall and have no one thinking about sex) or the undressing on the field or getting felt up in the scrum or lifting our captain up in the air by his ass. It’s when one teammate believes in your ability and pushes you to do better – and is willing to help you get where you need to be.

There is a player on our team, Chris, who is a major sports fiend. Now, I know it’s odd for gay men to be sports oriented (trust me there are still a few raised eyebrows from my friends when I bring up playing rugby) but Chris just wants to play rugby. He doesn’t want to get involved in the politics of the team. He just wants to play and he wants to make sure that when you play with him (in the sports sense, not sexual you pervs), you’re giving it your all as much as he is and doing it right. He consistently gave me advise on making sure I’m bound in properly and crouching down in the right stance. Even more so, he’s willing to take me aside and work with me on certain aspects of the game to make my skills are honed and ultimately become a better player.

This is a new thing for me because in my experience, the more skilled players pretty much don’t want to do anything with the less experienced players. They want to hang out with their friends who know what they are doing and can put forth the effort and let the other guys who are still learning struggle along and have to have the coaches mercilessly work them or, even worse, learn it all on their own. To have Chris’ expertise in this area and his willingness to work with me to become a better player means a lot. It means that he recognizes that I have the potential and desire to be a better player and I deserve to be on the competitive “A” side.

I just wish he had been there to see me sprint out that last stretch of our suicides last night. Damn that felt good.
Quote of the Day

Oh that's going to leave a mark. -- Teammate last night as I got tackled rather ferociously during a drill. And yes, it left a mark.

Thursday, April 03, 2003

Ms. Elizabeth "Don't gawk at me when I enter a room!" Spiers seems to be hard up for mail these days. However, in her recent entry, she left out a few emails she most assuredly has received. So I've taken the moment to mind-meld with the Gawker diva and come out with not only the emails she has read but what they really mean.


Other things you forgot to include in your list of things that people email you and their obvious subtext meanings --

"Don't you have anything else to do other than talk about Tina Brown?" really means, "I'm hot for you and want to rip off your clothes and roll around naked on top of back issues of Talk Magazine."

"San Francisco doesn't suck!" really means "Dear God, I lost my job from yet another dot-com in this hell hole of a town and I wish I was living the magnificent life that you were!"

"What do you have against Conde Nast?" really means "How can you help me get a job at Conde Nast?"

"Elizabeth Spiers is one hot rocking chick that I want to throw up against the wall, smother in kisses, and bring her round after round of intense pleasure," really means "I'm stalking you. I can see everything you're doing."

"Are you that desperate for mail that you have to plead for it?" really means "I'm lonely and need someone innocent to suck the life energy from so I can live for another two hundred years."

"You sure do love your gossip," really means, "What do you know about me, who told you, and if I gave you info about someone else will you not print it?"

"Your 'to-do' lists are boring as hell," really means, "But if I go will I see you there?"

"Anna Wintour and Tina Brown. Tina Brown and Anna Wintour. Me thinks the lady may be jealous," really means, "I'm jealous of you and all you have attained in such a short time that it puts my idols Anna Wintour and Tina Brown to shame."

"You really had lunch in the Conde Nast cafeteria?" really means, "Will you take me next time you go?"
So I was watching The Bachelor last night and I was struck by something -- all of these women seem to think that all they have to do is compete "hard " or put on their "game face" in order to be the last woman standing. I always thought that this was a relationship oriented show and that the only thing that really mattered was how the bachelor felt about you as a person and whether or not you were the right woman for him. Putting on your game face might be a turn off, but that's just me.

I opted not to go to Boston this weekend. I'm still nursing a cold I think I picked up this past weekend at the match there (in the rain and mud and Canadian geese dung) so I'm skipping their bootcamp and may go up on May 3 to watch their match since that is an off weekend for us in terms of matches. Besides then I can take a plane up there (or something equally nice).

Quote of the Day

...and I don't think she really cares about how many poor people she sleeps around with on a daily basis... -- Excerpt from a cell phone call I overheard last night on my way to the subway...

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

How about this...we can have the proposed dinner party I proposed before or we can have a nice rousing game of Mafia. I haven't played this in YEARS but it was hellish fun for all of us...of course we need a lot of people for that...and a place to do it...anyone got space where we can all crash...hee!
Something tells me this one will be heading to the Supreme Court as well...and it will be an ugly fight...
Sigh...okay here it is...for all you that have been writing in asking for a picture of me...well here are two from my rugby weekend in Boston.

Just click here....the pics aren't that big but it should give you an idea....

Or you can click here should that first link not work properly...
Quote Email of the Day

An Explanation of Marketing

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."
-- That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm,
and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
-- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.
-- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so she calls you.
-- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing.
So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
-- That's Spam

-- Taken from an email I received yesterday at work

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

How friend got the notice that her divorce was final today. Of all days. April Fool's Day. Kismet.
I've been invited up to Boston this weekend for the Boston Ironsides (their gay rugby team) boot camp. This was the team we played over the weekend and the person who invited me was none other than Mr. Don himself -- the man on their team that's adorable (and the one that hooked up with another player on our team back in November of last year). He even said I could stay with here's the dillemma I am in...go or not...and is he hitting on me? We did talk last night online and he mentioned that he was impressed with the weight loss and not surprised at all that no one from his team really recognized me which they should since the last time most of them saw me was that night in November when I tossed someone (who happened to be fully clothed) from their team into the pool. Actually our talks went around from soreness and bruises to working out to diets to visiting NYC and Boston to how fabulous I look...he's a sweetheart but I ain't doing no long distance thang...
Survivor Teacher Arrested for Assault on Student
Matt Savage from the Associated Press

Eldon Missouri Authorities announced this morning that 24 year old Heidi Strobel, a contestant on the CBS reality series Survivor, was arrested yesterday on charges that she assaulted one of her students. Strobel, who works as a physical education teacher in the Eldon, Missouri School district was taken into custody after several students went to the principal's office during their PE class and told Principal Prittchard that Strobel was striking a special ed student across the face and buttocks.

According to eye witnesses, the PE teacher repeatedly insisted that 14 year old Timothy Hale, who has autism and is nonverbal, do jumping jacks and count out as he performed the act. When he would not count, Strobel became enraged and began to slap him repeatedly, ending with her hitting him with a closed fists.

The teenager was taken to Lake Ozark general Hospital for observation. The Police arrested the reality show contestant who was already receiving flack for stripping on last week's episode of Survivor: The Amazon. The school board met behind closed doors last Friday and decided to not renew Strobel's contract for the 2003--04 school year. After the arrest, the school board met again late last night and chose overwhelmingly to fire Ms. Strobel and are considering a law suit against her for violating specific clauses in her contract.

The Board also announced that Today is April Fool's Day and you should never believe anything without checking the facts.
Quote of the Day

Mommy! Mommy! The house is on fire! April Fools! -- My sister and myself many years ago in perhaps the least popular April Fool's joke we ever carried out.