Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Again, I am thankful for small blessings, minor miracles, and the occasional moment of awe in the middle of this post-holiday season.

Last night I moved all of my belongings into the new apartment. The "man with a van" that I hired was, perhaps, the BEST person in the world to do this job. The job that I thought would take about four hours to do (and cost me $200 with tip) was done in just over two hours and would have only cost me $70 (without tip).

By the time that the guy got to me I was his fifth gig for the day. It was around 9:30 in the evening and part of me was not looking forward to getting to bed around 2 AM but I just wanted to be out of the hell hole of my former apartment SOOOOO bad that I was willing to forgo sleep in order to accomplish it. I worked out a few plans with the moving guy when he arrived on how we would bring stuff down and get it all loaded into his van and then we just set out to get the job done. Within in a hour the entire van was loaded and in just over two hours the new apartment was filled with my belongings.

What impressed me the most with this guy was that even though I was his fifth gig of the day he was whipping stuff around as if it was the first job of the day carrying huge boxes and heavy loads that I wouldn't dare dream of carrying (been sick the past few days amongst other things) and really and truly giving this job 110% percent if not more. He never let down. He never complained, he just set out to do his job and seemed a wee bit shocked that it took over two hours to get it all done (he thought it would take much less) while I was shocked that it ONLY took two hours to get it done. The man impressed me to no levels considering the hour of night and the amount of work he had already done.

I gave him the full $200 I originally planned to give him for four hours of work.

When I handed him the cash he counted it out and looked at me as if he couldn't believe it. "You do know how much you just handed me?" he said, not sure if he should even be saying anything at all.

"Yes, actually I do," I responded determined to reward this guy for busting his ass off at close to midnight.

"You're sure about this?" he said stsill giving me a second chance to back out.

"Al," I said, "I thought this job would take four hours and you did it in two. You did a fucking amazing job and I'm eternally grateful for your help. I was still trying to figure out how I was going to get my stuff down here last week when I came across your ad on Craig's List. You've made this painless and effortless and I'm out of that hell in one fell swoop. You earned the money."

He sat there and looked at the money in his hands and I could kinda tell that he was getting choked up about it and I didn't want to make that big of a deal out of the whole situation because 1) I was truly impressed with this guy and how hard he worked and 2) he really did earn every cent of the money in my eyes. He looked back up at me and said, "All the work today was really geared towards helping pay rent for this month and this...this is going to put me well over the top. I really, really appreciate it."

Ever since the fire and the outpouring of love and support from friends, you can't help but want to give back the same to those around you. To show that same appreciation for just the small things in life which really and truly make a much bigger difference than you initially imagine. Through the smoke, debris, and ashes, I feel blessed to be surrounded by friends new and old who, if anything, are there for a kind word, a shoulder to lean on, and so much more. Despite it seeming like a shitty end to 2003, I actually think the fire was a good thing for me because it made me come to appreciate those around me all that much more.

For 2004, I wish everyone love, wealth, happiness, a shoulder to cry on, someone to help you up when you fall down, something to hit when you need a moment to vent, and a huge smile that will brighten not only your day but someone else's.

God (or whatever diety you prefer even if it's none at all) bless all of you in the coming year.


Brian, the 646 Guy
Quote of the Day

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak a cup o kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine,
But we've wander'd monie a weary fit,
Sin auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin auld lang syne.

And there's a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o thine,
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne

-- Words adapated from a traditional song
by Rabbie Burns (1759-96)

Monday, December 29, 2003

Ya know...after all the shit I went through in Florida this past week and how down I was it was nice to have my faith in my fellow man restored today...

Last night I panicked upon realizing that I left my cell phone some place other than my pocket. A friend called and learned it was in the hands of the person that found it in the back of the cab. Since I use my cell phone for EVERYTHING they said for me to call tomorrow and make arrangements to pick it up.

I freaked. I had no idea who these people were. I thought it might be the cab driver with the phone who would use it to call his friends in God knows what country. I was somewhat livid that I couldn't get it back last night. But I had no choice. I had to deal.

This morning I called up my number and got the roommate of what I assumed was the cab driver. Okay, at first I assumed it was the wife but turns out it was just the roommate someone who found it in the back of the cab (oddly enough also named Brian). I didn't know what to really make of it but they said that they would call back once Brian The Phone Rescuer was awake and I could make plans from there. Well when the call came back in Brian The Phone Rescuer wasn't going to be home for a long time after he left so my only choice was to cab over there on my lunch hour to get it. This of course was the time that I had slated for The Great Box Buying Extravaganza of 2003 but I had to choose between the two and since the phone was all the way over on the Lower East Side, it just made better sense to postpone TGBBE 2003 until after work.

Now here's where faith is restored. I rang the apartment buzzer and the roommate bounded down the stairs holding the phone in her hand and just gave it to me. Didn't ask for a reward. Didn't ask for me to pay them anything. Just handed it to me. I was floored even as I handed her $20 to say thank you not only for being so great about it all but for the honesty of it all as well. Really and truly they could have ditched the phone, kept it, run up thousands of minutes in talking, everything. But they didn't. All they did was call the last person that I had on my phone list and let them know that they had my phone and to pass the word along.

The woman I met who gave me the phone seemed shocked that I was handing her money and even said, "For real?" Hell yeah for real! 1) You saved me about $200 in buying a new phone and God knows how much headache. 2) You've been great about the whole thing and have been more than helpful. And 3) You asked for nothing in return but was expecting pleasure of doing a good deed.

As I'm about to leave she turns me to and says, "Can I give you a hug?"

It was the best hug I have had in a long time.

Sometimes it's the small things like this that can make the biggest impression.
So...let's get into the past week of my life and make it as brief as possible...

First and foremost -- My thanks to everyone who guest blogged last week. Much appreciated as there would have been too much vitriol for everyone to handle.

Grandma -- Four letter word starting with "C" and I don't mean cold. Instead of saying hello to me when I got home, her first comment was that I needed to grow my hair back because she didn't like it shaved. I told her that it was my head and my hair and I'll do with it as I please whether she liked it or not. This soon progressed in the coming days with her alternately being a raving bitch to the world's biggest martyr with my father and I alternately blowing up at her for some of her more asinine antics. To give you a more classic moment on the day I'm heading back to the airport we're driving back to my parents house as I left my phone there. Grandma has fallen asleep in the car and wakes up when she feels us pull into the driveway. She immediately starts in on how they let her sleep without waking her to say goodbye to me and starts moaning, bitching, whining, and crying.

I was sitting beside her.

Sex -- I had some. It was needed. Much needed. Helped me face the family.

SuitMan -- My one bright spot of this week. He did his best to keep my centered and focused even though he was still in NYC. Might be stopping for the New Year's party I'm attending but most likely will be out with his friends...

The apartment -- Starting the mad packing party tonight...this should be fun.

More later...I really just want to forget the last week ever happened.
Quote of the Day

Well...that was a shitty vacation. -- Yours truly to myself as I took off from the airport last night.

Friday, December 26, 2003

Quote of the Day
You are so lucky that I made you work late on Christmas Eve because it's raining outside!

Thank you, Brian, for the opportunity to run my mouth today. First, let me start out by saying that the company I work for SUCKS!  I was repeatedly informed that, not only will I not be able to leave early on Christmas Eve with the rest of the firm when it closed at 1:30, but I will have to come in today, when the firm is also closed for the entire day.  Some crap about some client's something being done before the end of the year.  I really don't care.  This is MY holiday.  My boss surely was home in her 57th Street high-rise when she called me at the office on Christmas Eve (evening) and gave me today's quote....the same boss who doesn't celebrate Christmas... hmmm.... where is the logic?

Santa was good to me this year. It was evident on my face as, while leaving my parents' house on Long Island yesterday, my mother commented: "Steven, you're happy. You didn't get a bunch of crap this year." (Yes, I usually do get a bunch of crap, and have to endure the very fake "Thank you. I love it [monotone]", or, "I saw this at the store and wanted to buy it [rolled eyes]".) Actually, my brother got me Harmon/Kardon sound sticks for my iBook, Carlos bought me a georgeous Kenneth Cole watch and an iPod (which I caught Nana, my 85-year old grandmother, jammin out with), and my parents gave me MONEY!! By far, the best gift of all.

Today it seems I have to play tour guide to Carlos' sister, who is visiting from Venezuela and doesn't speak a spit of English. I speak limited Spanish (which is hard to believe from all the Spanish I've had in me over the years...I should be fluent!) How do I tell her I have to work and she'll have to stay home? She's been looking forward to this all week! I can tell her flatly in Spanish, sure, but how do I EXPLAIN the circumstances, and get my sincere regret to come across, and how much I know my job SUCKS, all in broken Spanglish? This is NOT going to be a good day. Let me go wake her ass up.

Check on me at

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Quote of the Day

For unto you a child is born. . .
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.

(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
And all went to be taxed, everyone into his own city.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, (because he was of the house and lineage of David,) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country Shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them; and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not; for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

And they came with haste, and found Mary and Joseph and the babe lying in a manger.
And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.
And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Sorry BriHan, had to get to the parents house before I could pop in ;)

I met dear Brian a few years ago (in person in 2000, online before that - we spoke of jello wrestling if I remember rightly) because we're both internet freaks. Not freak in the usual sense of the word (ie not because of a love for the same porn), but because we both loved the X-Files. Gillian Anderson at that. Brian and were, you see part of an internet convent. (yes, Brian is a man. yes, I realize that's unusal - weren't you paying attention for the freak part?).

Brian and I were (kinda still are I spose) part of the Order of the Blessed Saint Scully The Enigmatic (OBSSE). Each year the OBSSE has a FEST. I'd been to one in Colorado, but it was the FEST in Minnesota where I met the man we called Hannibal. Yes. Hannibal. Brian and I (as well as the HoE - the Hut of Evil - which at that point was still the Orgy Hut and the Evil Petting Zoo) became fast friends. It was a good time, and saying good bye was v. hard. I still regret I didn't go to Sex World with you all all that final night, but alas, I was distracted. :P

(an aside, please excuse me as I ramble, but I've been into the Xmas cheer. The OBSSE also has a marathon each year to raise money for Neurofibromatosis. Brother Hannibal was a huge help to the organization in NYC, lest you think he's all about the fun)

Anyway fast forward a couple of years. Brian and I kept in touch - I get calls from NYC on a fairly regular basis (yes, some are the drunken calls of legend, but a lot of them are sober). Sometimes, I get phone messages that consist entirely of Broadway Showtunes. Sooooo is it any wonder that I threatened, coereced and otherwise begged BriHan (as he became known) to attend my wedding in Halifax, in July 2003. And he came (don't twist that into something dirty). He said it was mostly because he was afraid what would happen if he didn't - buuuuuuuut I think he just wanted to see me walk down the aisle with the right guy this time. Who is also named Brian for the record. This is why we call Brian - BriHan. Because he won't let me call him by his actual first name ;) That starts with C.

So that's about it. I'm afraid I won't be able to be all posty like some of the rest of you - but let's face it - I got the harder day, it seems my family thinks I should spend time with them today as well. I hope this brings you all closer to the man that is Brian - or at the very least - makes him blush :P

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

So I have made it back up to PA. There was traffic everywhere and at one point pretty much all of the roads in and out of D.C. we closed!
I want to thank all of you for your insiteful comments and help today. Wednesday's special guest will be Joni.
(Sorry, Joni, I do not not have your link and I am here on the rent's dial up so if tried clicking links to find yours, I would be able to publish this sometime in the new year!).

As it is 60th anniversary of "The Wizard of Oz", and I started today with a quote from the movie, I figured why end today on the same note.

Glinda: “You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas."
Dorothy: “I have?
Scarecrow: "Then why didn't you tell her before?
Glinda: “Because she wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself."
Tin Man: “What have you learned, Dorothy?
Dorothy: “Well, I -- I think that it -- that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em -- and it's that – if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?
Glinda: “That's all it is!
Scarecrow: “But that's so easy! I should have thought of it for you.
Tin Man: “I should have felt it in my heart.
Glinda: “No. She had to find it out for herself. Now, those magic slippers will take you home in two seconds!
Dorothy: “Oh...Toto, too?
Glinda: “Toto, too.
Dorothy: “Oh, now?
Glinda: “Whenever you wish.
- “The Wizard of Oz”

I hope everyone out there has a wonderful holiday weekend and great New Year!

"Some day I'll wish upon a star. And wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops. Away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" - Dorothy Gale

I am getting flack from every place now - work, cell, comments section, and e-mail.

I am so sorry that I could not remember that Dorothy's Last name was Gale (Some came in with Gail).
Please, kind readers, forgive me.
See, I told you that I am easy to guilt...

So the drop off went with a problem! The Naval Lab is happy and I am out of the lab at a somewhat respectable time. I am going to finish packing up and hit the road. I'll let you all know when I get back to PA safe and sound. Now I just have get Burt into his box for traveling...that should take only a few hours...
So I have to at some point get out of work today and get back to my place, pack (screw wrapping gifts at this point, I'll put them in my trunk, sneak them in tonight and wrap them at the rents) pack up the cat and drive to the wonderful North for the holidays. I have already missed a few days of the Jewish Holiday, but at least I'll be with the little ones on the last night when all the big gifts are handed out. It is so much fun to watch how the excitement builds up over the nights for them.
I just got a call - The Navy's lab (with whom we work under the same grant) is out of a reagent (chemical) that they need for a very important experiment. So, I'll be driving from NW DC up to Rockville, MD and drop off the reagent on my way home. It is not really on my way home but at least in the same general area, and it does give me an excuse to leave here. I cannot leave this moment (which would be SO nice to do) as I am waiting for my bacterial cells to spin down so I can freeze them down in the -70C freezer (I do this in case I need to check my data at a later date or when I publish an article on my work and someone else wants a sample so they can try it for themselves, etc...).
But the catch here is: the bacteria know that I want them to do - but they do not want to do it.
Just another example of how my life is controlled by single celled organisms...
I would like to start out this morning with a big “Thank You!” to Brian, for allowing me to join in the fun of guest blogging. I am going to guess that most of you do not know me, maybe a few of you have read my blog, but for those that have not caught up on their history of me, I’ll give you all a little intro.
My name is Sandra (Sandi) and I am originally from out side the beautiful city of Philadelphia. (West of the city, thank you, not from the other side of that river).

My mother’s family is right off the boat from Ireland; they make it a point to say that they are real Irish, not Scott’s Irish or any of those other Irish mixes that people claim. My father’s family is Austrian-Hungarian Empire Jew.
(And, for those history buffs out there, yes, I know that it is not in existence anymore – but it is just easier to say that then, some are from Poland, some are from Russia, etc…). It was an odd upbringing to say the least – I can also say that I am probably will be in major therapy at some point of my life due to the amount of guilt that I have. I feel guilty about pretty much everything, including sometimes feeling guilty about things that I should not feel guilty about.
(And, I am pretty sure that at least a few of you are all wondering why Brian would have ever given a day of guest blogging to this crazy girl living in D.C., I am not sure, but he did! I can say in my own defense that I have been told by many than I keeping me around keeps life from getting dull).
Random Fact of the Day: Did you know that the largest population (% wise) of people in mental institutions are EITHER Catholic or Jewish?
My Aunt once told me that because I had both I was defiantly screwed either way…Thanks!

I was the only child for 25 years, and the first girl born into my father’s family for 5 generations, which then set the standard, as all of my cousins after me have been girls. 3 months ago my father finally got his beloved son.
(And in case you think that I will have missed out on sibling rivalry, you’re wrong. It started before he was born and my father called to tell me that he was proud of his son for gestating…Yes, my father was proud of my brother for being a leach, a couch potato, etc…Please to do hate me for calling my brother these names, but I am a trained as a biologist, so I am looking at this from a biological view.
Fact: I do love my little brother very much and I have to keep an eye on him, as a few friends of mine want to steal him due to his cuteness.
My intended point of my complaint about my father's comment: At one time we all gestated. And if we are now reading this entry, we must have all been at least somewhat good at it!)

I was sent to catholic school pretty much my whole life, including an all girls catholic academy for high school and then to a catholic university (The Catholic University of America to be exact). I am now starting a Ph.D. program in Microbiology and Immunology at another University here in D.C. And yes, it is at a different, much larger, catholic university in D.C. Burt (the Cat) kindly allows me to live with him and feed him and pay constant attention to him when I am at home (if you are owned by a cat, you’ll totally understand this).

I like to think that I am out going and fun, but then again someone like Mussolini probably thought that he had those qualities too – but then again it was the only time in Italy’s history that the trains ran on time – if you have never visited Italy, trust me, the trains are almost always late!

When I am not in the lab, (which is where I usually am which may explain some of the craziness that has been going on with me as of late), or studying at the coffee house (the other place I usually spending too much time at) you’ll probably find me with a one or two of the usually suspects (as my mother calls them) hanging out downtown and just trying to enjoy living in the Nations Capitol. Feel free to ask me any questions, make comments or whatever – As I was not sure what to say about myself in this intro, it has run on WAY longer then I had first thought, but in any case, I hope you enjoy this day with me…
Quote of the Day:

"Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh why can't I? If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow. Why oh why can't I?"
- "Somewhere over the Rainbow" Sung by Dorothy (Judy Garland) from "The wizard of Oz"

If anyone can remember Dorothy's last name, let me know!

Monday, December 22, 2003

Ladies and gentleman (and those unsure or a little of both), I thank you for joining me today as I guest blogged for Brian. I hope you enjoyed our little bit of time together. I thank Brian for the opportunity to guest blog for him. Hopefully I did not bore you or offend you or anger you or disturb you... too much. Now I must return to blogging on Gays of Our Lives, where I bore, offend, anger and disturb my own readers. Come on back tomorrow as Sandi stands in for Brian on Day 2 of his little hiatus. Here's hoping you all have a "fabulous" holiday and a "fierce" New Year (TIC). This concludes today's broadcast!
Alright, I promised some more Brian-esque stuff and what is more Brian-esque than his beloved Designing Women. So a Designing Women Christmas tribute:

Suzanne and Julia Sugarbaker Conversation of the Day

JULIA: Suzanne.................where did you get that pig?
SUZANNE: What pig? Oh, you mean this pig. Well, y'see...........Consuela's entire family has just arrived from San Salvador for the holidays......and uh.........this is their gift to me. Y'know, they're very big in meat packing. Well, anyway..........I tried to board her with a private kennel --- they won't take her, and I'm sure not about to have her slaughtered. By the way, do you all have any idea how difficult it is to find a 26-inch rhinestone collar?
JULIA: I cannot believe that you are walking around with this big pig on a leash.
SUZANNE: Why not? It just fits my mood. This is the worst Christmas I ever had. All my vacation plans fell through, and I haven't heard a thing from any of my ex-husbands --- not even a Christmas card.
MARY JO: Well, what about Hugh? Aren't you still dating him?
SUZANNE: No, not anymore. He's in intensive care again. He's always in intensive care and I'm just sick of it.
JULIA: Suzanne, after all, he is 80 years old.
SUZANNE: Oh, he's just a big hypochondriac. Anyway, I was sitting there last night feeling sorry for myself, y'know, and Noel came over and nudged me with her little snout. She is ugly isn't she? (giggling) I am genuinely fond of this pig. I guess you could say she was there for me when I was lonely and needed a friend.
JULIA: As your sister I have to tell you one thing.
SUZANNE: What's that?
JULIA: (leaning in.......) We're not taking that pig shopping.

[Note: I need me a little pig like Noel about now.]
I went to see The Last Samurai last night with the BF. It was surprisingly good. I was a bit skeptical going into it. I am not a huge fan of Tom Cruise, either of his personality or his acting. However, the movie was beautifully shot, Cruise's acting wasn't so bad, the fighting and battle scenes were awesome and Ken Watanabe's performance was refreshingly good. He is well deserving of his Golden Globe nomination for Best Supporting Actor. I have revised MY Golden Globe picks accordingly. That's one more checked off the list to see. I really want to see a lot of pictures from the list, that includes:


After the movie, we went to Grand Szechuan in Hell's Kitchen hoping to get some crab meat and pork soup dumplings. But no such luck. As it was so late, they were out of them. We settled for some pork pot stickers, but they were not that great compared to Mama Buddha's. Though we did have some really good beef and green beans.
I was tempted to save this piece for my own blog as I began my tirade on the subject over there, but I cannot wait!

This weekend on Fox NFL Sunday, my BF said he saw them do a piece where they visited a HS to speak with HS athletes about the recent controversy surrounding Joe Horn's recent endzone antics and answer the central question: 'Are touchdown celebrations getting out of control?'

Now this pisses me off more than just a little bit. Did Fox think it was doing some sort of public service by doing this piece? Don't they feel that the NFL and sports in general have bigger issues they could have discussed with these kids? Like, oh... for instance Matt Millen's highly offensive homophobic remarks? Doesn't Fox think these kids might be better served learning why hatred and intolerance is wrong more so than talking about why showboating is wrong?

This is part of the problem with the NFL, the media and sports in general. A senior executive of an NFL team can repeatedly call a player a "faggot" and the NFL does nothing. This is a person who is responsible for managing hundreds of employees associated with an NFL team. His remarks have created a hostile working environment for any gay employees within the organization. He should be fined, fired and banned from the NFL. But instead... nothing from the NFL. Now Joe Horn makes a cellphone call to his mom from the endzone after a touchdown and he gets fined $30,000. Where is the justice or common sense in that?

And what was Sean Kosofsky (policy director for the Triangle Foundation, a gay and lesbian advocacy group) thinking when told the Detroit Free Press that Millen's apology alone was a strong enough message against the type of language he used. I read his explanation and fumed... "We are pleased that so many voices in the sports world have condemned the statements, but we feel it unnecessary to call for his resignation, as some have done," Kosofsky said. "He has apologized several times, and for a visible leader in professional sports to apologize sends a strong signal that anti-gay epithets are never appropriate, even in the locker room. Sometimes we all say things we don't mean. We don't believe Millen harbors any animus toward gays or lesbians." BULLSHIT!

I plan on sending emails to the Detroit Lions, the NFL and Fox Sports to express my displeasure! Gawd-damn-it!

OK, I know I am a guest blogger and it is Brian's blog, but I am going to take some artistic liberties {evil grin} and make myself at home here today. Hey, why not... I did the one thing I was required to do and that was the Quote of the Day. I will have a few more Brian-esque things later, but now for some ruggerjohnnyd-esque things... {evil laugh}

Today's nugget:

Quote of the Day

I lost the instinct to kill the day I shot a baby out of my vagina. -- A certain sales manager to yours truly, discussing the importance of the killer instinct in sales and explaining why she decided to get out of sales per se and to manage salesmen instead.
Good morning "Tales from the City" readers! I am happy to be your guest blogger for the day here on Brian's blog. Brian is off basking in the warmth of his grandmothers' love and affection in the Sunshine State. I however will try to live up to the sophisticated level of blogging you have come to expect from your daily visit to this little corner of blogdom.

Friday, December 19, 2003

We now have four guest bloggers for next week...I'll be pre-recording my Christmas message ahead of time so it will give the illusion of me actually blogging.

Monday -- Rugger Johnny D
Tuesday -- Sandi
Wednesday -- Joni
Thursday -- Moi
Friday -- Steven much to do before I run off to Florida and deal with psychotic grandmothers.
Quote of the Day

The difference between the Spice Girls and a porno film is that the porno film has better music. -- Phil Spector

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Okay so I've been encouraged to have Guest Bloggers of the Day...John and Sandi have volunteered to take on a day each so I need three more suckers...I mean volunteers to make it work....

the only requirement is that you have to at least do the quote of the day and make one additional post about anything you want :)


Here's how the current schedule looks (and I promise to make your names hyperlinks when I get a chance):

Monday: Rugger Johnny D
Tuesday: Sandi
Wednesday: Joni
Thursday: OPEN
Friday: OPEN

Please note Thursday is Christmas if I am not mistaken so we may just let that day slide. However, should someone wish to do a Christmas day blog entry, please feel free to volunteer accordingly.
You don't have to guess how I voted on this do ya?
A couple of quick notes....

1) I just realized I will need a guest blogger for the coming week as I will be in Florida and I haven't even made arrangements for it...any volunteers?

2) I asked SuitMan to the New Year's Eve party -- even if it was to arrive for a few short moments. No response back on that just yet.

3) Tonight I pack to head to Florida. Lovely week with stressed parents and a psychotic grandmother.

4) I saw my temporary homestead for the next six months last night. Sigh. Home. It sounds so good.

5) Still not sleeping well. Slept maybe three hours last night. This isn't good.
Quote of the Day

No amount of organization can counteract determined laziness. -- Chris Hansen

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

I bought running shoes today.

I feel so fulfilled.

This though scares me a little.
Quote of the Day

And I used to be such a nice guy. -- Narrator in Fight Club as referenced to me this morning by my roommate regarding my blow up with the landlord yesterday.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Okay I stayed home from work today. I was violently ill all weekend and decided to go to work yesterday which really didn't help at all. Also spent the majority of the evening during the inventory to file our claim against the rental company and their insurance and I still have a ways to go there as well. When I woke up this morning after crawling into bed around two in the morning and then staring at the ceiling for yet another hour or so....well work was the farthest thing from my mind this morning. On the good side, all I have left to do on the inventory now are my CDs and my clothing and it can be submitted to our lawyers for review.

The highlight of the day came when our landlord made an appearance at the apartment with the insurance contractors. Basically he was tallying up what he was going to make off of all of the repair work. I made sure that everything was pointed out as to what was done by the firemen to the guys before the landlord appeared.

His mistake.

When he arrived I already let him know that I wasn't in the best of mood and when he deflected my attempts to get his insurance information out of him well...let's just say I found the Incredibly Hulk inside me and morphed into someone that will definitely be someone to be reckonced with on the rugby pitch this coming year. I completely ripped him a new one and I don't think he was prepared for someone like me with the amount of anger that I had stored up inside me. I let him know that I thought it was totally shitty that we had no one come to look at our repairs for nearly two weeks after the fire happened. I let him know that the apartment was pretty much unlivable...I went on and on and on and wasn't stopping. At one point the landlord tried to interrupt me and I pointedly shut him down saying that I didn't appreciate him interrupting me and I would appreciate if he would wait until I stopped talking before he opened his mouth.

The best part came when the landlord told me that my tone of voice was insulting and I got to use that against him when he turned around ostensibly to get my roommate who was home to validate some point that he had in fact been to our apartment since the fire. I told him that if my tone of voice was insulting then him turning his back on me when I was talking was insulting. He had no idea what had hit him. He had his hands to his face in an "Oy vey" look because apparently he thought I was going to just roll over and play dead for him.


Finally he just had to give up and say that we would just talk later and I said, "Fine, get out of the apartment then because I don't want you here right now."

He smartly left.

According to my roommate everyone in the entire apartment (workers, etc) all stopped when I was in the midst of my asshole ripping tantrum. None of them came to his defense and apparently our super was siding with me on this as well since he wasn't that thrilled with the landlord himself. Like I said, no one, especially the landlord expected to have someone like me come out with a full head of steam.

This man should know he has three men here that he shouldn't be fucking with because we will force him to drop trou, bend over, grab his ankles, and take it like a fucking man.
Quote of the Day

Don't turn your back on me when I'm talking to you! You want to talk insulting? Turning your back on me when I'm talking to you is fucking insulting! -- Yours truly to our slumlord

Monday, December 15, 2003

I spent most of this weekend sick in bed. Yeah I made an obligatory trip to IKEA on Saturday to get some replacement furniture for things that were destroyed in the fire. I picked up a couple of chairs with matching ottomans, some picture frames, some lamps, and some storage boxes. I still have a long way to go but I am waiting to see what the new apartment has in store for me before I buy anything else.

On Saturday I got a nice phone call from SuitMan. I last saw him Friday night at the NYCGMC concert and gave him a nice long hug and a short sweet kiss before sending him down to get changed as he was going to the party and I had hoped to give him a much longer kiss as a Christmas gift. Well, I knew he was sick pretty much all week (we both have been all week since retreat) so it wasn't really a shock when he didn't show up at the party. I gave him a quick call and he was a little cranky since it was so late in the evening but I wished him well and told him to call me if he needed anything.

Anyway, I digress. SuitMan called to let me know that he had gone to the doctor who put him on a nebulizer (I think I spelled that wrong) and had told him he had a lung infection. We talked for a little while but I was so spaced out and exhausted that we didn't talk for too long. I promised him a call back on Sunday and did so somewhat early in the evening. We wound up talking for quite some time about a lot of different things and pretty much I somehow found the courage to tell him exactly how I felt about him without stuttering over my words or anything.

I told him that I liked him and definitely wanted to get to know him better but I wanted to take it slow between us so we could see together if there was something worth pursuing and to my delight he agreed wholeheartedly. We did discuss his last dating foray which turned out to be a disaster as the guy got way too attached to him way too fast. SuitMan did give me a few wonderful compliments that made me blush and really and truly made me realize that even if nothing becomes of the two of us, then the person he does wind up with is going to be one very lucky, very happy man because he has such a wonderful heart.

We're going to talk later this week when I get a moment away from doing my home inventory and I'm going to invite him to the New Year's Party I was just invited's a start...we'll see where 2004 takes us....
Quote of the Day

We got him. -- U.S. administrator L. Paul Bremer

Friday, December 12, 2003


I really have nothing to blog about.

I was elected to the board of the rugby team but lost out on the presidency.

I have slept at most two hours a night since the fire. Sleeping pills have not helped.

I have a raging headache.

I barely have an appetite anymore.

I spend some days forcing myself to eat because I know I have to eat even if I don't want to do so.

I just want this month over with already.

I could really use a big hug.
Quote of the Day

There are no accidents--only plans other people don't tell you about. -- Unknown

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Quote of the Day

Hi we're here to install your new door. -- The carpenter to me at about 7:30 this morning meaning I am stuck at home while they putz around my apartment. Bastards.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

I'm doing everything within my power not to breakdown and cry out of sheer...well...happiness, elation, and love.

I got an email this morning from one of the guys on my rugby team offering me his place for at least six months. It's in Hell's Kitchen and it's a studio and it's more than what I'm paying now but it's a place for me to rest my head and call home for a while. There is the chance that when the lease is up at the beginning of July that the place could flip over to me but that's not a guarantee at all so I am hedging my bets on that one. It's a chance to get collected, get focused on finances and such, and look for a new permanent home.

I was a bit hesitant to send anything out to the team about looking for a new place since I had already asked for help in cleaning up, one teammate started a relief fund to help out as much as possible, and all of the words of encouragement and support along with offers of places to stay in a pinch coming through. I didn't want to burden them with more of my problems and issues related to the apartment as well. However, at the urging of my roommate (and fellow teammate) I did send out the email. His rationale was that I am a good person (hold your tongues everyone) and that I put out good energy and do good works and it's about time that I get rewarded for them. But this...well this I never expected.

But here I was sitting at the office staring at the email, my jaw hitting the floor from utter shock, and I was thisclose to bursting into big Susan Heyward/I Want to Live! tears because it was so unexpected, so welcome, and so large of a bequest that I didn't know how to take it when I read the email.

I am blessed. I am truly blessed to have all of these people in my life at this time. One of my basic tenets of my belief system (since I don't really subscribe to one religion) is that people are put into your life for a reason. Right now I'm learning generosity from my friends and family. I can only hope that one day I am allowed the chance to return the favor to them.
Quote of the Day

If you expect nothing, you're apt to be surprised. You'll get it. -- Malcolm Forbes

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

I have to move from the apartment.

I have to find the money to move from the apartment. Part of me is kicking myself for putting so much money towards debt reduction that I didn't focus on saving money for things such as this. Then again who really expects things like this?

Ultimately the smoke smell isn't coming from left over soot residue as much as it's coming from the apartment next door courtesy of the lovely gash in my ceiling. Pretty much they are going to have to redo all of the walls, floors, etc. in order for me to live in that room.

I can't wait that long.

I have to get out. I have to figure out what to do with all of my shit as well.

Anyone know of a nice cheap studio apartment? :)
Quote of the Day

I was so drunk during all that! -- Adam Mesh from Average Joe to yours truly last night at the finale party at Slate.

Monday, December 08, 2003

So here's the latest update....first and foremost, tonight my bedroom will start White Vinegar Therapy. Apparently white vinegar is very good at removing odors so I will be stocking up on a few bottles and poring them into a few of my tupperwear bowls tonight to see if it works. Sure the vinegar smell will be overpowering for a while but it should help in removing the majority of the smoke smell that is still in the house. Additionally, I really want to get out of that apartment...I'm looking at possible returning to Astoria since I liked that neighborhood but I do want out of the apartment and soon.

This weekend, I did decide to go to the chorus retreat in Kerhonkson, New York, just so I could get away and rest and relax, etc. Getting up there in the middle of a virtual blizzard -- not fun. It took almost 5 hours to get there by bus and I had a shit load of people getting pissed because the movie we were playing was either too soft or too loud or they were too hot or too cold and I quickly met my drama limit rather quickly. I distinctly remember telling one person that they would be getting on my last nerve (named the Cleo Nerve after Cleo Laine in honor of a really horrible performance of hers that I sat through) if I still had a last nerve and that we would be leaving when I was "goddamn fucking ready" to leave. They then tried to do a comeback with, "I have a question..." to which I responded by patting on their head and saying, "That's sweet. Keep it to yourself."

We arrived at the resort and I got my bag and headed to check in so I could get to my room and just relax for a moment. One chorus member came up to me and was telling me where to place my bag and I pretty much pushed him out of the way because I was exhausted from the bus ride and from the events of the previous night. I got upstairs, threw my bag down and went back to the lobby bar and imbibed in my first two (or was it three) drinks of the evening.

SuitMan was on the third bus which had its own problems (including breaking down amongst other things). I didn't see him enter the hotel but he quickly found me and gave me a huge hug and we talked for a while. The back bar (aka The Empire Lounge) opened up with the band that we had last year when we were there and eventually the chorus retired back there for some fun and dancing (and drinking). SuitMan grabbed my hand at one point and led me out onto the dance floor where we started cutting a rug to practically every song they played (and imbibed in more than a few cosmopolitans). During one slow song we were in a nice long embrace swaying to the music when he stopped and looked and me and said...

"Promise me this...never fall in love with me."

Well to be honest, I'm not in love with him. I'm in "like" with him but love is a strong word to use. When I finally got him to open up about it he admitted to a bad experience in dating someone in the chorus earlier and that person ended up talking about him to other people in some very not-so-nice terms. I finally told him that I'm not in love with him because I need the chance to get to know him better before taking that giant step. I did, however, mention that I wanted the opportunity to get to know him better.

About 2:30 in the morning we finally decided to leave the dance floor and I escorted him back to his room since it was on a lower floor than mine. Now mind you we had a few pecks on the dance floor kiss-wise and it really did take pretty much all of my self control not to grab him by the face and shove my tongue down his throat. It would have been nice but since I like the guy I decided to play it wee bit safe and kist go for the peck and the long hug.

The next morning comes and I head downstairs to get some breakfast and I run into one of the guys who used to be on the dance team and, in my fair opinion, is a pretty awesome dancer himself. We're waiting to get on the elevator and he said, "I just have to say, you're an AMAZING dancer. I was watching you last night and all I could think was 'His apartment building caught on fire? He sure looks happy...'" First and foremost -- me? An amazing dancer? Well I attributed that to my partner for the evening -- namely Mr. SuitMan.

I did manage to get in one massage courtesy of Union Girl who decided that I needed a bit of relaxation anyway. So between the massage and spending time in the jacuzzi, I was feeling no pain when lunch came. SuitMan and I met back up briefly during a break and he said that everyone was complimenting him about our dancing the night before (which was true since I heard a few of those on my own that day). This was then followed by another hug and another brief peck.

Now, before dinner and during the memorial service time I took a moment to hop upstairs to the room to press my outfit for the evening -- my Utilikilt with the long sleeve white t-shirt, and my Doc Martens. I must say that even I was pretty much impressed by the outfit. Some people of course did wonder what I had on under the kilt and I had to let their imagination go where it wanted. In actuality I had on a black jockstrap because there are some people you just don't want putting their hand up your kilt.

SuitMan loved the outfit (as did a lot of other people) and of course he was curious as to what I had under the kilt (and you so want to know if I let him find out....) but I kept demure and wouldn't tell him. He did, however, insist that after the show I was not to change clothes at all since he wanted to twirl me around in my kilt on the dance floor. Now let me note that by this point, SuitMan and I are holding hands A LOT. Sitting down, walking to different parts of the resort, etc., we're holding hands.

During the No-Talent Show, I had to operate the spotlight so I didn't get to sit next to SuitMan during the show but throughout the night people kept flipping up the kilt to see what I had on underneath until finally I felt this hand not only slide up under the kilt but practically in my ass crack as well (thank God I showered first!). It was SuitMan who was trying to figure out what I had going on under the kilt and was shocked to see that it was practically nothing. At first he thought it was a thong which is why he put his hand where he did but finally I convinced him it was a jock strap which he then playfully snapped. I would go into the part where he groped the front of the jock strap as well just so he could see that I did have something on underneath.

Self restraint was definitely coming in.

The No Talent Show went on FOREVER (over four hours) and when you're standing on a chair and running a spotlight for four hours plus, well it gets a little tiring. Nevertheless, SuitMan and I first retired to the smoking lounge so he could have a cigarette. As most of you know I'm not big on smokers but since it wasn't like he was lighting up every three minutes I felt like I could deal with it. We curled up on the couch in the smoking lounge and talked and he again reiterated that I was not to fall in love with him because he didn't want to hurt me emotionally.

Finally, we went and got a drink and started dancing. I did catch a glimpse of the person that SuitMan had gone out with earlier and ended badly and they weren't giving me looks of happiness. People were commenting the following day that our dancing that night appeared to be more sexual dancing than anything else. He did show me his underwear (a Calvin Klein thong) and from what I could see, it was in fact a very nice butt. Between the day's activities and the marathon session the night before, we weren't really going at things full blast that night. We spent a fair amount of time talking and cuddling.

The next morning, SuitMan came up to me to make sure that we didn't do anything too risque (including French kissing on the dance floor which for that group wouldn't be all that risque). Apparently a lot of people were wondering if we were had sex that night when in actuality around 3:30 in the morning, I again dropped him off at his room and resisted the urge to tongue wrestle with him while I returned to my room and slept in my own bed.

One of my weekend roommates the following day told me that she didn't like how he would say things like "Don't fall in love with me" and then proceed to seduce the hell out of me on the dance floor -- the old case of say one thing but do another. I can see her point but I think (or would like to think) that I'm playing it smart by not allowing myself to get too emotionally drawn into the situation. Or at least I hope so.

On the bus ride home, SuitMan started off the trip by sitting next to one of his friends but he soon fell asleep worn out by the activities of the weekend and I felt bad for him since he was so tired and therefore couldn't be upset that he wasn't sitting next to me. When we arrived back in the city, I got another long hug from him and told him I would see him on Thursday since I already had obligations on Wednesday. His response -- I hope I will see you before that.

So to respond to Patrick's inquiry, no I'm not falling for him. He and I still have a lot to talk about and we definitely need to see each other outside of the context of the chorus as well to see what happens when we don't have 200 other men watching every little thing we do...then we can see....
Quote of the Day

Promise me this....never fall in love with me. -- SuitMan

Friday, December 05, 2003

Sigh...where to begin....

I got an email about 12 hours ago from my roommate's coworker to call him immediately as there was an emergency. I didn't know what the heck it could be but I figured it had to do with the apartment. I dialed him up and he was pretty much beside himself and had nothing else to offer other than the building was on fire, one of the windows in my bedroom was smashed out, and there was a hole in my ceiling created by the firemen. He didn't know anything more than that. I called the other roommate to let him know and he was pretty much upset even though I assured him that the majority of his belongings probably escaped unharmed.

I rushed out of the office and grabbed the first cab I could -- not an easy feat during early rush hour in Times Square but it was done...I called the roomie and let him know I was on my way and he pretty much informed me that my bedroom was ransacked by the firemen and that about 90% of the damage in the apartment was isolated to my bedroom. I got home and somewhat prepared myself before I entered the building. There was debris and glass all over the sidewalk from where they had punched out windows. I entered and there were people mopping and sweeping up on the first four floors of the building. Each floor seemed to have one of its windows leading out to the terrace smashed out.

I got up to my floor and immediately I noticed the glass everywhere on my hall as cleanup had yet to reach our floors. In my apartment we have two doors that lead into our apartment -- there's one in the kitchen that really is never used as it's primarily just used when people have moved their belongings in and out of the apartment. That door had been practically ripped from the hinges and was leaning off to the side. I made my way to the front door and walked in as that door had been forced open by crowbar and the lock broken. My roommate, Craig, who had called me came down the hall and gave me a big hug and took me back to see the mess.

This is the moment where I uttered today's Quote of the Day.

It was horrifying. The room, if not the entire apartment, smelled like an ashtray (and still does). One of the women on my floor, Jackie, stopped into see how we were doing and offered us some wine or beer...I opted for the much stronger vodka with apple juice (she had no orange or cranberry juice) and downed two tumblers of it in the blink of an eye. This actually helped smooth me over for about the next two hours so I could focus on getting the work of my bedroom done. Crash put out an email to the rugby team to see if anyone was available to come to and help out. Jose was the first to call and he made his way up to the Heights to help out as much as he could. I did receive calls and emails from other teammates as well but I think we had the majority of the situation under control by then.

All of my clothes were covered in soot or smoky ash and had to eventually be bagged up and taken to the cleaners so they can all (and do mean ALL OF MY CLOTHES) could be washed to the tune of about $200 to get that done. My loft bed is gone. The wooden frame, the mattress, the pillows, the linens were so smoke-logged that they are pretty much unsalvagable. I actually had to leave the apartment and head over to Jackie's because I couldn't bear to hear them taking my bed apart. The mattress I could have lived with...the entire bed is a different matter.

In Jackie's apartment I met the kids (I call them "the kids" even thought they are probably around my age) from 6A, the apartment directly above where the fire started. The kids lost everything. Furniture destroyed, clothes burned up. One guy has no floor in his bedroom anymore, just some slats remaining. It made sense then why they came into our apartment since one of my bedroom walls shares a wall with apartment 6A. In fact, the walls of one of my closets are partially black from where the fire was probably just on the other side and almost coming through. The firemen needed to come in and make sure that the fire hadn't spread here or up into the ceiling -- something they really couldn't accomplish in the other apartment. I stayed over there for a while as my roommates and Jose pretty much did the task that I couldn't sit through -- sifting through my belongings and throwing a large majority of them away as they were smoke-logged.

When I got back to the apartment the majority of the work was over and all we had to do was make arrangements as to what we were going to do in terms of sleeping arrangements for the night. Craig and Sammy had a hotel but wound up coming back and spending the night in the apartment. Adrian is spending the night at his current paramour's place (I believe) and as I was going to wait to make sure things got taken care of as much as possible tonight was offered the use of Adrian's bed for the evening.

After everyone left, I started putting the computer back together to make sure it worked (as you can see it does) and brought together a few scented candle to try to rid myself of the smoke smell which will probably never really go away fully. I ordered a few pizzas and scarfed one down along with ten chicken wings and half of a two-liter bottle of Coke before I felt sick to my stomach. The repairment did come through and place a big padlock on the rear door of the kitchen that we had already screwed shut for extra security. Also, we managed to get the front door to lock manually rather than just closing it behind us.

When all is said and done, I really have nothing to complain about. My losses are minor compared to the people in 5A and 6A who lost everything. Sure I'm going to have to buy a new bed and linens and pay about $200 to have my clothes cleaned. But I still have the clothes. And my computer. And 95% of my belongings.

And I'm alive. No one died. No one got hurt. Emotionally, maybe. Physically, no.

I haven't been able to sleep much tonight (maybe 2 hours) as there have been workmen combing the building doing repairs all night long. Living on the top floor, I've been hearing them on the roof and in the other apartments on my floor doing work. Sleep I can do later.

Here's the really sad thing about it all...tonight I really met my neighbors for the first time. They graciously opened up their homes, their refrigerators, and their hearts to people in their time of need. If anything, I think this will make us look out for each other and maybe even spend more time together getting to know each other. I've lived in this building for over a year and I only briefly knew that one of the women living next door to me was named Martina but that's it. If anything, I ask that people get to know their neighbors before there's a situation like the one I was'll find that for the most part, they are really nice people...

As for me, I'm taking today off from work to try to get the apartment back in line as much as possible. I'm debating whether or not I am going away this weekend as I planned. If I do, I am cancelling the massages I had scheduled as I will need the cash to pay for my clothes being cleaned.

But I'm okay. I'm dealing with it. I've already had a breakdown already and worked my way through it. It's like that song...I get knocked down but I get up's a minor setback that life has thrown me. But as with everything in my life that has been tossed my way I take it, I deal with it, and I make it work for me and for others impacted as well. It just the way I has handed me lemons, I'm gonna make a few bitter lemons out it....

Let's go find the gin....

Addendum: This will give you an idea of what my apartment and building looks like the day after. Much cleaner than before....but you get an idea of what it's like and how many windows they had to break open and the damage done in my room.....
Quote of the Day

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. -- Yours truly

Thursday, December 04, 2003

This is truly horrible and the school teacher should publicly apologize to the child.

Then I think the teacher should go to a behavior clinic of her own.

This is a truly horrible thing to do.

So why am I laughing so hard about it?
Quote of the Day

If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius. -- Larry Leissner

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Since it seemed to work for Steven, I decided to shoot them back an email myself.....

First the email....

> -------- Original Message --------
> From:
> Date: Wed, December 03, 2003 7:24 am
> To:
> I am DR LAWRENCE EBOH , Deputy secretary to the Nigerian Football
> Association,
> parent body of the World Youths Championship, Nigeria 99'Local
> Organizing
> Committee, an affiliate of Federation of International Football
> Association
> (FIFA).
> In the course of our preparation to host the World Youth Soccer
> Championship
> Tagged (Nig99) early last four years, huge sum of money running into
> millions
> of United States Dollars was budgeted by the then Military Government
> for
> the successful organization of this competition.
> In the same vein, FIFA via its President, Mr. Joseph (SEPP) Blatter,
> made
> millions of dollars available for the same project, not to talk of
> Corporate
> Organizations and Football loving individuals who made huge donations.
> However, in my capacity as the deputy secretary, to both the Local
> Organizing
> Committee (LOC), and the Nigerian Football Association(NFA), I,along
> with
> two of my colleagues in sensitive positions were able to over-invoice
> most
> contracts, which were awarded for the construction and the
> refurbishing
> of the 8 stadia used for the competition. The contractors who handled
> these
> projects have been paid-off.
> It is pertinent to note that a total sum of thirty-two million United
> States
> Dollars(US$32,000,000.00) was realized as over-invoice after the
> successful
> completion of the project. This over-invoiced sum is lying in my
> organization's
> (NFA) suspense account with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), ready
> for
> transfer into the beneficiarys account oversea, waiting for the
> appropriate
> opportunity to do so. In this years (2003) budget speech, the new
> Civilian
> President has ordered that all foreign contractors debts should be
> paid
> in order to boost more Foreign investors into Nigeria. On this note, I
> have
> been unanimously mandated by my two colleagues to seek an honest and
> trustworthy
> Foreigner who will assist in ensuring the successful transfer of the
> above
> sum into a personal/company account since the Nigerian code of conduct
> does
> not allow us (Civil servants) to operate foreign accounts.
> It is pertinent also to let you know that 30% of the total fund will
> be
> for you, while 10% will be used to settle any expenses that might be
> incurred
> by both parties and the remaining 60% will be for us (my colleagues
> and
> I) to be invested in your country. We have chosen you /your company to
> benefit
> with us in this transaction due to the respect your country commands
> here.
> These are the necessary requirements we needed from you to complete
> this
> transaction:
> 1. Your bank Name, contact address and your account number where the
> money
> will be remitted.
> 2.Your bank telex, fax and telephone numbers.
> 3.Your personal phone/fax numbers for easy communication.
> The above-mentioned particulars will be used to write LETTER OF CLAIM
> on behalf of your company from my ministry as the beneficiary of the
> fund.
> You might be surprised and curious of an offer like this, be rest
> assured
> that the modalities and logistics towards the successful transfer of
> this
> fund has been worked out. All we require from you is your
> co-operation.
> This transaction is risk free.
> We kindly request that you accord it the highest level of secrecy it
> deserves.
> Your swift response will be highly appreciated.
> Best regards,

Here's my response...

See Lawrence, I would like to help you, but I'm already getting requests from Martin Buba, a financial consultant based in Calabar, Nigeria, who is working with Lemkan Taylor, the brother of your ousted leader Charlie Taylor, and I also got an email from your former first lady (who I am assuming is Charlie's wife) asking for my assistance as well. Personally, with Charlie's brother and wife both asking me to help, is it really that hard for Charlie to get on the phone with me and give me a personal call and ask me to help out?

With all of these people asking me, a mere innocent lamb of the world, to come to their aid...well I'm touched. No, really. I am. However, I can only help so many people at a time so I'm really going to take a look at each of the three offers I've received in the past day and then I'll sit down and figure out which one is the most financial advantageous to me and I'll get back to you.

No really. I will.
Quote of the Day

Oh, just ask Brian. He knows a bunch of stupid shit that's not really worth knowing. -- My boss this morning.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Sigh....I wish I could post something witty or evil or....or....or....I dunno....SOMETHING. I just don't have it in me.
Quote of the Day

Why be a man when you can be a success? -- Bertolt Brecht

Monday, December 01, 2003

More Monday Meltdown

  • I saw the movie Love Actually on Thanksgiving Day. Cute film. Very innocuous. Great stories all around. My biggest praises: Laura Linney (because she can do no wrong in my eyes) and the fact that even though Martine McCutcheon is constantly referred to as "the plump girl" or "the chubby girl" throughout the movie by friends, family, and coworkers, she gets the guy in the end because he still finds her desirable. Personally, I didn't think that she was big but still it was nice to know that they could write a character that gets a guy in the end no matter what her size is (and even if he is The Prime Minister). Also, the final scene with Colin Firth and Lucia Moniz was a tear jerker...yep I cried. Complaints: They didn't finish the story line of Laura Linney's character. She was in bed with the guy of her dreams and of course had to run off to deal with crazy brother and it just never took off again after that scene. It's like the romance fizzled and nothing could be done to bring these two back together. The story just ended with no real resolution. It killed me.

  • I'm running for the office of president on my rugby team. It was a combination of a few teammates urging me to run for the position with some telling me they had nominated me already. Whatever the truth is, I'm sure it's somewhere in the middle. But I'm running for the post against two other gents, both of whom would make great presidents. I know the time commitment involved is enormous but given some of the events that I've pulled off, I'm more than willing to take the plunge. To take this nomination, I pulled myself out of the running for vice president of the team (and no competition in that category). Since I was also running for an at-large seat (since club officers aren't automatically boad members per our club by-laws), I thought it would make me look too much like a power-hungry whore to run for president, VP, and board member.

  • Average Joe pics for getting dumped tonight...Zach and Mike. I think it's an Adam/what's his name that other himbo final 2 here.

  • Since when did CBS' "Ice Wars" become North America vs. the World. I don't want those freakin' Canadians skating with us. I mean really now. I remember it was USA vs the World for so many years and now they have to let the Canadians skate on our team. I mean where was Kristi Yamaguchi and Nancy Kerrigan for this event. hell, even get Tonya Harding out there and none of them would take the ice because they would be afraid of being knee capped.

  • 22.28 miles on the bike in an hour this morning -- a new personal best. And that was without taking Xenadrine too. I shudder to think what it could have been. Anyway, it comes out to like a mile ever two minutes and forty seconds so I can't complain.

  • Psycho bitch is out of the office again today which means I get to do her work. I'm sure she's going to be thrilled to know that no one did her work on Friday. I was covering someone else's desk that day and they know that I only cover one desk at a time. I am not taking the blame for her work not getting done.

  • "This is great. I'm down on the docks at 1:30 in the morning. I might as well pin a hundred dollar bill to my butt and scream 'Victim here! Victim here!'". Sigh. I know the movie is total shite but there's something about Jumpin' Jack Flash that makes me lagh.

  • I went to this show called What's Your Karma? where the woman basically holds these numbered index cards that we were told to hold to our sternum's and think about the questions we want to have answered. We were told that we should take notes since the woman would be talking very fast (which she did). The woman in front of me said that she didn't need to take notes since she was a much more audial learner. Of course, that theory was blown to bits when she asked, "Okay, but what's dharma?" five seconds after our hostess had just described what it meant. Apparently, I have had the same oppressive family for many lifetimes and in this one I am to be the one that teaches them. Also, what was most interesting is that, apparently, she had a vision of my grandfather come through and tell me that I can always rely on him for guidance which was kinda odd since I never thought of any family member that's passed away it would be him offering me guidance. Overall, interesting show. Very small audience, but interesting. My friend learned she was an extortionist in Peru in a former life.

  • Chicken & Rice or Pesto Minestrone soup for lunch today? I can't decide.

  • The hot cafeteria guy is back after two weeks of vacation. It took a lot of self control not to sink to my knees and open my mouth when I saw him. And he looks even hotter than before which is a real pain in the ass. :)

  • Kumquats. Just because.

  • Have you ever felt up a woman who was asleep?

Quote of the Day

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother opening my mouth sometimes... -- Yours truly to a friend over dinner last night....