Since it seemed to work for Steven, I decided to shoot them back an email myself.....

First the email....

> -------- Original Message --------
> Subject: PLEA FOR ASSISTANCE
> From: lawrenceeboh001@tiscali.co.uk
> Date: Wed, December 03, 2003 7:24 am
> To: lawrenceeboh001@tiscali.co.uk
>
> DEAR SIR,
>
> I am DR LAWRENCE EBOH , Deputy secretary to the Nigerian Football
> Association,
> parent body of the World Youths Championship, Nigeria 99'Local
> Organizing
> Committee, an affiliate of Federation of International Football
> Association
> (FIFA).
> In the course of our preparation to host the World Youth Soccer
> Championship
> Tagged (Nig99) early last four years, huge sum of money running into
> millions
> of United States Dollars was budgeted by the then Military Government
> for
> the successful organization of this competition.
> In the same vein, FIFA via its President, Mr. Joseph (SEPP) Blatter,
> made
> millions of dollars available for the same project, not to talk of
> Corporate
> Organizations and Football loving individuals who made huge donations.
> However, in my capacity as the deputy secretary, to both the Local
> Organizing
> Committee (LOC), and the Nigerian Football Association(NFA), I,along
> with
> two of my colleagues in sensitive positions were able to over-invoice
> most
> contracts, which were awarded for the construction and the
> refurbishing
> of the 8 stadia used for the competition. The contractors who handled
> these
> projects have been paid-off.
> It is pertinent to note that a total sum of thirty-two million United
> States
> Dollars(US$32,000,000.00) was realized as over-invoice after the
> successful
> completion of the project. This over-invoiced sum is lying in my
> organization's
> (NFA) suspense account with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), ready
> for
> transfer into the beneficiarys account oversea, waiting for the
> appropriate
> opportunity to do so. In this years (2003) budget speech, the new
> Civilian
> President has ordered that all foreign contractors debts should be
> paid
> in order to boost more Foreign investors into Nigeria. On this note, I
> have
> been unanimously mandated by my two colleagues to seek an honest and
> trustworthy
> Foreigner who will assist in ensuring the successful transfer of the
> above
> sum into a personal/company account since the Nigerian code of conduct
> does
> not allow us (Civil servants) to operate foreign accounts.
> It is pertinent also to let you know that 30% of the total fund will
> be
> for you, while 10% will be used to settle any expenses that might be
> incurred
> by both parties and the remaining 60% will be for us (my colleagues
> and
> I) to be invested in your country. We have chosen you /your company to
> benefit
> with us in this transaction due to the respect your country commands
> here.
> These are the necessary requirements we needed from you to complete
> this
> transaction:
> 1. Your bank Name, contact address and your account number where the
> money
> will be remitted.
> 2.Your bank telex, fax and telephone numbers.
> 3.Your personal phone/fax numbers for easy communication.
> The above-mentioned particulars will be used to write LETTER OF CLAIM
> on behalf of your company from my ministry as the beneficiary of the
> fund.
> You might be surprised and curious of an offer like this, be rest
> assured
> that the modalities and logistics towards the successful transfer of
> this
> fund has been worked out. All we require from you is your
> co-operation.
> This transaction is risk free.
> We kindly request that you accord it the highest level of secrecy it
> deserves.
> Email:lawrenceeboh001@voila.com
> Your swift response will be highly appreciated.
> Best regards,
> DR LAWRENCE EBOH

Here's my response...

See Lawrence, I would like to help you, but I'm already getting requests from Martin Buba, a financial consultant based in Calabar, Nigeria, who is working with Lemkan Taylor, the brother of your ousted leader Charlie Taylor, and I also got an email from your former first lady (who I am assuming is Charlie's wife) asking for my assistance as well. Personally, with Charlie's brother and wife both asking me to help, is it really that hard for Charlie to get on the phone with me and give me a personal call and ask me to help out?

With all of these people asking me, a mere innocent lamb of the world, to come to their aid...well I'm touched. No, really. I am. However, I can only help so many people at a time so I'm really going to take a look at each of the three offers I've received in the past day and then I'll sit down and figure out which one is the most financial advantageous to me and I'll get back to you.

No really. I will.