I did my first kickboxing class last night.

I want to die. I want to do it again.

Let me give you an overview of what it was like...first you jog for about three to five minutes -- high knees very important. Then you do 300 jumping jacks. I am not kidding here. You do 300 of them. We counted that's how I know. Now the rest is a bit of a blur but I'll see what I can remember. There's the requisite pushups (about 50 - 100 of those), then the really odd leg things where you are in push up position and you kinda run in place...hard to describe...Then it was crunch time. Imagine being on your back, your head off the mat, your legs up about six to eight inches off the floor and you have to hold the position. And then you have to bring one leg in and pretty much bicycle/piston pump them out...and then actual real crunches...Your legs are burning...you're trying to catch your breath....your body is screaming, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ME?"

And this is just the warm up.

That's right...a "warm up."

Then you get out the bags and one person holds them while the other knees the shit out of you. You have fifteen seconds to knee the bag before you swap off with the other guy. You put your hands behind their neck and just shove that knee in as hard as you can. I was initially with this very small woman but we swapped off so she could be with someone a little more height appropriate as she was much shorter than me and I was paired up with this muscular black man who proceeded to maul me to death. I definitely gave as good as I got that's for sure. At the end of this one was a thirty second run where you did four knees, turned them around, kneed some more, turned them around and over and over until you heard the bell to sound the swap off.

After the knees came kicks where you did a round of kicks on one leg and then another set on the other before trading off. This was followed up by power kicks where you just tried to kick your partner as hard as you could and drive them back. Your legs are already tired to begin with (at least mine were) but you can't really let down. I just tried to keep the intensity going but damn with the constant switching back and forth you never really had a time to catch a breath.

After the kicks were done (and your body is still wondering why you're doing this), you put on the gloves for some punching. First you start off with simple 1-2 punches which aren't that bad. The guy I was working with was really nice and kept reminding me to keep my hands up for defense reasons. He was a good partner to have for the first session. After a few rounds of 1-2, you then do a round where you do 1-2, 1-2, 1-2-3-4...it was relentless. The worst part for me was the fact that I was tiring out and couldn't keep the bag up high enough and had it positioned way too low to where he was practically punching my bladder and crotch.

Punching then turned into more ab work where you had to do the same position with your head up and legs up but this time you had to also lift your arms up off the ground. I couldn't do it and had to just settle for having my legs up and supporting them with my hands. But it's not over yet...the final thing was shin to thigh kicks. Doing the kicks -- not a problem. Receiving the kicks -- OUCH! Turns out I was holding the bag too low and not having enough padding where he was hitting me to protect me from injury.

After it was all over though, we got this great pep talk from the professor (as they are called) about it being a good class but when it gets hotter outside (and this place really isn't air conditioned) it will be even better. All I kept thinking was...this place must be a sauna in the summer. After he was done, you went down the line and gave the greeting that sounded like "Ooos" or something like that and shook hands with everyone in the class. I went up to the professor and thanked him for the intense workout and thanked Luke for the opportunity to take the class.

For the rest of the night I was totally wiped. I went to the chorus practice to help out and then to drinks at The Monster afterwards which I shouldn't have done since I was so pooped but the night out was much needed. Especially seeing one guy demonstrate his tongue technique for me...He should be glad I left when I did...he was about to get molested... :)