Taken from Faustus, I went online searching for the list of Children's Books You Will Never See...
"You Were an Accident"
"Strangers Have the Best Candy"
"The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
"Some Kittens Can Fly!"
"The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion"
"How to Dress Sexy for Grownups"
"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"
"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"
"Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer... Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
"All Dogs Go to Hell"
"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"
"When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It"
"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
"Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver"
"You Are Different and That's Bad"
"Dad's New Wife Timothy"
"Pop! Goes the Hamster....and Other Great Microwave Games"
"Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets"
"The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad"
"Babar Meets the Taxidermist"
"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"
"The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"
"Start a Real-Estate Empire with the Change from Your Mom's Purse"
"The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy"
"Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"
"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead"
"How to Become the Dominant Military Power in Your Elementary School"
"Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear"
"How To Swim In Uncle Bill's Pool With Daddy's Barbells."
"How To Get Someone Else To Do Your Homework"
"If It's In A Pretty Bottle, It's OK To Drink It"
"Daddy's Whiskey Will Make You Grow Big And Strong"
"Blowing Up Those Funny Looking, Long Balloons You Find At The Park"
"Surprise Daddy By Sharpening His Hatchet While He Is At Work"
"Drawing Pictures Of All Of Mommy's "Uncles" Who Visit While Daddy Is At Work"
"Be A Good Helper - Vacuum All The Loose Hair Off The Dog"
"Barney: The Prison Years"