So I'm sitting here watching the movie version of Valley of the Dolls and can I just say that this movie is really bad. I mean there are sone BAD movie adaptations of books but this is truly one of the worst things that I have EVER seen in my entire life. The entire story was distorted and out of sequence and some major characters deleted (the senator who was supposed to marry Jennifer) and some people who died EARLY in the book who were still alive at the end (Anne's mother) and Helen Lawson was a much larger character than she was in the book. The story was totally distorted and was NOTHING like the book at all. I mean why tamper with something that was so delightfully trashy and brilliant and come up with the trite piece of crap this movie was...it's painful to watch...NEELY O'HARA! NEEl;-EE! NEEL-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Oh it was bad....it was really bad...

I mean I know they can't do the entire book because it would take forever, but I would love to do a miniseries out of it for HBO or something because they like that raw and in your face style that Ms. Susann had with these characters.

And then there's today's New York Moment. On the train going home, my car was filled with people entering at 9th street. Now, I'm up against the door watching these people enter and head right for me. As we get to 103rd Street, they start to press in closer. I swear this one guy was so close I could have leaned in and kissed him on the lips. I was like, whoa people...give me some room to breathe here.

I know this will probably be the grossest thing that I will ever put in this blog, but it's for a good cause.

My good friend Dee, whom I asked you to send good vibes her way on the eve of her surgery, is still in the hospital and cannot leave until she passes gas (and a nice quantity of it). Now the problem is as follows -- she's really not supposed to be eating. I know kinda hard to pass gas when you are not eating but such is the case with her.

So, I've spent part of this afternoon looking up ways to get Dee to pass gas either through natural, non-food related ways or if there was a pill that would cause the gas to build up and produce enough methane for her to power a small car to Pittsburgh. Therefore, if you know of any sure fire, solid gold proven ways for someone to pass gas (pinto beans not allowed), please let me know so I can pass them along to her.

Hey, I warned you that this was a gross entry (maybe smelly is a better choice of words) but it's all for a good cause!

We just want Dee to pass some gas so she can go home. Is that so wrong?

I have to thank Orchid at The Daily Dose for this one. She had me crying at my desk from laughter...the whole Freddy Prinze, Jr., one was hilarious!

I am debating what to do for Halloween tonight. Practice has been cancelled due to lack of participation. At practice on Tuesday there were only 10 - 12 of us and of that group only three of us said we were available to come to practice tonight. I was all set to pack up my bags and head to work this morning but I checked my email before leaving for work and there was word of the cancellation. I might try doing some drills of my own at home in order to get into the swing of things and keep my skills in shape. I need to work on passing and bending down low enough to pick up the ball in a proper manner. I wanted to see if I could take a ball home with me from practice on Tuesday but I forgot to ask before I left and I am SOL.

I'm also looking into gym memberships. I need to talk to the people at the Sheraton New York hotel just down the block from my office to see what they charge. I know they have a deal with the Sheraton Manhattan that involves using the SM's pool but I don't need the pool so that shouldn't make TOO much of a difference. Just having them so near would be a great convenience. Get off the train, walk a few blocks, and WHAM! There it is...and they open at 6AM too which means I can get in there, do an hour on the elliptical runner, do some weight training, and get to work at a very decent time and feeling great. I was talking with another player this week and we have both vowed to use the off season time to get better cardio conditioning.

Personally, I just want to kick some ass when I get on the field...

Anyway, back to Halloween wonderings...

There is the parade tonight but it will be bitterly cold and bitterly crowded. Unless I am standing on someone's balcony or roof there is no way that I am going to drag myself down there.

There is the movies. Bowling for Columbine could be fun to watch as I love Michael Moore's work. Jackass: The Movie would be a waste of my time. If I want to keep in the theme of the holiday, then Red Dragon could get my vote. Maybe White Oleander. I have been dying to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding but I haven't had the time and besides it's been there FOREVER. I don't think it's running away anytime soon. I could go see Real Women Have Curves which looks like it could be one of those tear jerking mother-daughter films. Then there is Igby Goes Down with my beloved Susan Sarandon. This is a movie that I wanted to see and if I do go for the movie thing, this would probably be the one.

Anyway...it's all decisions...and I still don't know if I am going to Boston tomorrow to attend a practice with the Boston Ironsides rugby club. I guess I will know that tonight.

I'm a glutton for punishment or I just love compromising my own free time in order to do things that, in the long run, will help the greater good.

I've agreed to take on merchandising for the Gotham Knights, the rugby football club of which I am a member. Since I have my own shop through CafePress, it's not that hard for me to whip up a few things and put them out there. In turn, the team gets the profits and that can be used to buy jerseys, equipment, you name it...A lot of it is just cut and paste but there are some other things that need to be tweaked as well in order to make it a smooth running, well oiled machine...

In other news, I had sex last night. I feel like a new man.

Okay I have a new favorite entry in the "so that's how they found me" saga...

"how to meet a guy in NYC"

As if they should be coming to me for that info. Please. They should know better.

Rebekah Revels, the deposed Miss North Carolina who tried to regain her crown through the courts, was selected to appear as Miss USA in the upcoming Miss World pageant to be held in Nigeria.

Hmm...she goes from being a state winner to representing the country in an international pageant. Misty Clymer eat your heart out.

Shamelessly lifted from Joni who shamelessly lifted it from Bev...

100 useless questions

1. Are you an innie or an outie?

Oh I’m an innie all the way.

2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?

Only once and it was at Halloween.

3. Have you ever written a song?

Yes I have…actually I did more of the lyrics than anything else.

4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?

What crack are you on to ask me a question like that. Let me go get some breakfast first and then we can talk.

5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?

Yes. It was when I was getting my degree at the University of North Florida. All of the bathrooms were arranged so that the men’s bathroom was on the right and the women’s bathroom was on the left. Well in the library’s atrium, it was reversed and stupid me forgot. Thankfully, it was empty at the time.

6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?

I used to suck my own toes so what does that tell you?

7. Do you like ketchup on or beside your french fries?

Depends on my mood really. Ultimately I like mayonnaise on them rather than ketchup. But if I had to choose…on the side so I can dip to my heart’s content.

8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?

No, but I can touch it to anyone else’s nose I am sure.

9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?

I was a cub scout for a few years. Never went beyond that.

10. Have you ever broken a mirror?

More times than I can count. I must be up to about three lifetimes of bad luck

11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?

No…once again, I ask, are you on crack?

12. What is your biggest pet peeve?

Lack of common sense drives me NUTS. That and tourists that decide to stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take a picture.

13. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?

I have. I tend not to do it now.

14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?

When I was a little kid. I now just blow…oh, not even I can complete this bad joke.

15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?

Whopper. All about the flame broiling!

16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?

Oh yeah. Might be doing it again soon.

17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?

I generally don’t get asked this. They tend to put it all in plastic unless it’s something really hefty. Then they put the paper bag in the plastic bag.

18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.

Depends on the pizza but most likely false.

19. Did you have a baby blanket?

I don’t think so. I know I still have my teddy bear Lucky that I have had as long as I can remember.

20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?

Of course I have. That pesky gum that got in my hair.

21. Have you ever sleepwalked?

Not that I know of.

22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?

Some members of my family might be white trash, but I was spared this one.

23. Can you flip your eye-lids up?

Um…gross.

24. Are you double jointed?

Would you like to find out? You will be so disappointed.

25. If you could be any age, what age would you be?

I’m fairly happy with how old I am right now. (That’s 28 for the record).

26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?

Already covered in question number 20.

27. Have you ever thrown-up after a roller coaster ride?

No but I did almost pass out once.

28. What is your dream car?

Alfa Romeo Spider. If not that, a Pathfinder.

29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time?

Scooby Dooby Doo, Where Are You? We got some work to do now.
Scooby Dooby Doo, Where Are You? We need some help from you now.
Come on Scooby-Doo, I see you... pretending you got a sliver
But you're not fooling me, cause I can see, the way you shake and shiver.
You know we got a mystery to solve, so Scooby-Doo be ready for your act.
[Scooby Doo] Uh-uh Uh-uh
Don't hold back!
And Scooby Doo if you come through
You're going to have yourself a Scooby snack!
That's a fact!
Scooby Dooby Doo, here Are You. You're ready and you're willing.
If we can count on you Scooby Doo, I know you'll catch that villain.

30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?

I’m still questioning whether or not you are on crack.

32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?

As a child, my sister and I loved them.

33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?

I think I would scream like a little girl first before I tried to do something…

34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?

Oh yeah. With cute paramedics too.

35. Can you pick something up with your toes?

Oh yeah. Piece of cake.

36. How many remote controls do you have in your house?

Total house? Including roomies’ bedrooms? I dunno. I have 2.

37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school?

With the help of an antihistamine, yes.

38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?

Hmmm. Good question. I would say at least twice but it could be more.

39. How many foreign countries have you visited?

Just that one accidental foray into Canada. I am hoping to go to either Italy, Switzerland, or possibly Hong Kong next year.

40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?

Well I am out of shape but no way in hell would I compete because I can’t swim.

41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?

No question about it…poor and happy. Why change now?

42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?

Float.

43. Apparently there was no question 43, so in its place I will leave the lyrics to “What I Did For Love” from A CHORUS LINE…

Kiss today goodbye,
The sweetness and the sorrow.
Wish me luck the same to you
But I can't regret
What I did for love, what I did for love
Look, my eyes are dry,
The gift was ours to borrow,
It's as if we always knew,
And I won't forget
What I did for love, what I did for love
Gone, love is never gone
As we travel on,
Love's what we'll remember!
Kiss today goodbye,
And point me t'ward tomorrow.
We did what we had to do
Won't forget, can't regret
What I did for love
What I did for love
Love is never gone
As we travel on,
Love's what we'll remember!
Kiss today goodbye
And point me t'ward tomorrow
We did what we had to do
Won't forget, can't regret
What I did for love...
What I did for love...
What I did for love...


44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost?

Yes. Because real men know when to act like one.

45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?

Nope.

46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?

Cinderella. Because in the end her evil step-sisters’ eyes were picked out by birds rendering them blind – and she got the prince.

47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?

Screw the ants. I want crayons with broken points.

48. Do you prefer light or dark bread?

Light.

49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?

Well how I really like them is in a sandwich from this corner deli next to my old apartment – potatoes, eggs, cheese, and KETCHUP!

50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?

Yes.

51. Do you talk in your sleep?

On occasion.

52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?

Well is it a riding lawn mower? That does make all the difference.

53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?

Depends…how cute is the doctor that is going to save me? Or am I not going to be saved at all.

54. Have you ever played in the rain?

Rugby games on go rain or shine.

55. Which do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?

An angry bear. Those suckers can do some damage.

56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?

It would be heartless not to.

57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

I know the difference I just don’t remember which way it applies.

58. Do you drink Pepsi or coke?

Coke all the way.

59. What’s your favorite number?

4. I dunno why. I’ve always liked it.

60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?

SUV. We’re strong, tough, and reliable. And if we get damaged, it doesn’t cost that much to repair as opposed to the sports car.

61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?

There are no accidents.

62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?

If it’s at home with family, it’s been done before. At a nice restaurant, no way in hell.

63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?

Is this a dropping the soap joke? Yes, I have.

64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap?

Shower gel is the only way to go.

65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?

On more than one occasion. Once twice in the same day..

66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?

Simpson’s voice. Their residuals must be huge by now.

67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be? To seduce to?

For dinner, I think I would like to have over Susan Sarandon because I just adore her and I would love to talk politics with her. For seduction…Ben Affleck baby…Ben freakin’ Affleck. Although Mark Derwin from Bonnie Hunt’s show is rather hunky too…

68. Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?

What kid hasn’t? Maybe if you’re Amish.

69. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes?

Give me the big Jimmy Durante honker.

70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like?

But of course.

71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like?

Sure. I don’t have to like EVERYONE.

72. Have you ever returned a gift?

No, I just gave it to someone else.

73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?

Um…I think I just answered this one…

74. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?

I know people would expect me to say figure skating. And they would be right. But only with A.J.

75. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

One pair brown, one pair black. Another brown pair. Doc Martens. Hiking boots. Sneakers. Keds. Two pairs of sandals. Do we count soccer cleats and rugby boots? If so, we’re looking at 11.

76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?

Oh God no. She would feel like crap.

77. Do you sing in the car?

When I had a car I did. Loud too…

78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?

Honey. As long as there was someone there to lick it off.

79. What is your favorite breed of dog?

Norwich terriers, pugs, and basset houds.

80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?

But of course.

81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?

Mountain bike for those NY hills.

82. What is your least favorite fruit?

I really don’t have one. Watermelon maybe.

83. What kind of fruit have you never had?

Hmmm I’ve done some exotic ones before. Pomegranate maybe?

84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?

Old Navy or Gap. I just like the comfy clothes. Maybe Structure.

85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most?

My rugby gear.

86. Are/were you a good student?

Oh yeah.

87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat?

Maybe Amy. I’m working on that upper body stuff.

88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?

Air Force.

89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane?

In a heartbeat.

90. What do you think is your best feature?

My smile.

91. If you were to win a Grammy, what kind of music would it be for?

I know people would expect me to say showtunes, but it would be for vocal jazz.

92. What is your favorite season?

Fall.

93. How many members do you have in your immediate family?

3. My parents and my sister. If you want to include brother in law and nephew then it’s 5.

94. Which of the five senses is most important to you?

Considering I just shelled out major bucks for contacts – Sight.

95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer?

Singer.

97. How many years will/did you end up going to college?

Two and a half years for my bachelors degree.

98. Have you ever had surgery?

If oral surgery counts to remove my wisdom teeth then yes.

99. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?

Well I play rugby so I would play football. Although I could figure skate with the best of them.

100. What do you like to collect?

One night stands? LOL. Hmmm how about playbills. I collected a lot of them!

Don't ask me what I did but I got the archives up but it takes a manual loading....it's not that bad but it's just tedious!

Okay so far the new design gets a rave from everyone...on the bad news...my archives are non-existent. I need to find a way to get my archives linked in etc etc...I've had Jenna and Joni trying to tackle it with almost no success (and not for a lack of trying on ANY of our parts. Argh...

If my life wasn't so hopelessly jam-packed I would do this but I might wait and put it off until December when I actually have time...

I stole this from HCL and found it to be a wonderful foray into self-exploration...

1 Misconception About My Body

I don’t “take care of myself.” Well, I do exercise. I do eat right. I just have the metabolism of molasses.

2 Lies About My Body

1) I’m in the best shape of my life.
2) You could bounce quarters off of my ass.

3 Truths About My Body

1) I’m far stronger than I look.
2) My “battle scars” can be pretty frightening (fall down stairs, putting my hand through a window, many bike and rollerblading accident, to name a few…).
3) The tattoo on my shoulder (the one that surprises people when they learn I have one) needs some touching up.

4 Wishes About My Body

1) I wish I was in better shape. I’m not talking Chelsea queen buff, just better than what it is now.
2) I wish that I do not have to go through triple bypass surgery like my father. Hell, that I don’t have two heart attacks and a stroke like my father before I realize that I would have to change the way I live if I wanted to live.
3) I wish I had better flexibility and didn’t have to do physical therapy exercises at night to maintain what I have.
4) I know knee surgery is inevitable given my family history, but I would love to not have to go through it.

1 Misconception About My Mind

1) I may be book smart, but I am not that street smart.

2 Lies About My Mind

1) I’m not as mean spirited as I pretend to be.
2) Science and mathematics are the joys of my life and if I could read more and more about them, I don’t think I would ever get enough.

3 Truths About My Mind

1) I use my sharp wit (in terms of sarcasm and comebacks) as a defense mechanism.
2) I require constant mental stimulation. I cannot just sit and vegetate.
3) Sometimes my “creative” world interferes with my own reality.

4 Wishes For My Mind

1) To constantly be able to tap into my creative vortex and be inspired by everything around me.
2) To face unknown subjects or mediums with objectivity, respect, and an awe-inspired open mind.
3) To find someone to share my life with that will keep me mentally challenged, focused, and enlightened.
4) To have the continuing desire to always want to learn more…

1 Misconception About My Soul

1) That I am a mean spirited person.

2 Lies About My Soul

1) I only care about myself.
2) I never had one to begin with.

3 Truths About My Soul

1) I feel more pain than I actually share with others.
2) Like HCL, I have opened up to more people in the Internet world than I have in real life.
3) I do believe that there is some higher power in my life that has been directing me along the path I have walked. It is a path that has made me stronger and more self-reliant than I have ever thought I could be.

4 Wishes For My Soul

1) That it continues to grow and thrive.
2) That it helps me live that old cliché to work as if I didn’t need the money, dance as if no one was watching, and love as if I had never been hurt.
3) It learns to open up more to those that are near him.
4) It keeps reminding me that life is an adventure that is meant to be lived.

New template in place what do you think?

I want a new blog template. I've been searching online for the right template but nothing has really grabbed me...hmmm maybe I should have a contest to help me create a new template....but what the hell would be the prize?

I know this is going to sound so weird of me, but this was one of those human interest new stories that actually made me have to get up from my desk and hole up in a bathroom stall so I could cry at work. I swear, if there were more people in the world like Lori and David Burgess, what a marked difference there would be in our attitudes and in how we treat each other...this truly is one amazing story...

For those that want a sneak peak...the 20/20 (or is it Dateline NBC) story this week about the former NFL player now coming out as gay can be found by clicking here...

Once again, Walt has hit it on the nose...

This came from my friend Gina and I so wish we had a Wal-Mart here to do this in...maybe K-Mart will suffice...

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your significant other is taking his/her sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares'...and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again'.

and last but not least,

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly .. 'Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!'

I was flipping through the channels tonight and all I have to say is that the man who plays Bonnie Hunt's husband on her sitcom is perhaps the hottest man on TV...now if I could only see him without his shirt on...

Interesting note about the Senator Wellstone situation -- Walter Mondale, the 1984 Democratic presidential candidate. has been mentioned as a possible replacement for Wellstone on the ballot or even as a replacement should Wellstone not be replaced on the ballot. I think Mondale would be an interesting choice. He, along with the son of Hubert Humphrey, may have the name wattage needed to keep this seat in the Democratic column. Wellstone was leading his competitor in the polls at the time of his death, therefore finding the right candidate to replace him either on the ballot or as an appointment after a Wellstone election is key.

I know I pointed out The Best of Craig's List earlier this week, however, this entry completely cracked me up...

I guess this goes under the category of a New York Moment. I should start combing my memories for some of the better New York Moments of my life and sharing with you. For example...

On the downtown 4 train (or perhaps it was the 5...either way it was on the same line) I got on the train and the first thing I am greeted with is a HUGE black man who belts out, "Wu-tang, motherfuckers!" This line he chooses to repeat over and over and we bolt down to Grand Central. I would have left the car to move to another, even more crowded car, had it not been for the fact that I couldn't really move from the position I was sandwiched in.

At 42nd Street, Mr. Wu-Tang moved to a seat where chanted, "I'm a sardine man, you're a sardine woman, you smell like fish, I'm a sardine man." This was chanted from 42nd Street to the Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall stop where he stood up and stomped his way off of the train. Once he left, the entire car exploded into laughter.

I miss those days.

Archive problem fixed for now...I still hate Blogger's archiving dilemma's though...

Argh...archive problems again...sometimes I really hate Blogger...

I just got off the phone with Ron about the whole Senator Wellstone situation and he informed me of something even more interesting -- Gov. Jesse Ventura has talked about stepping down from the office of governor prior to the inauguration of his successor and allowing his lieutenant governor (a Democratic female by the name of Mae Schunk) to take the office.

Now here's where it gets interesting. Minnesota's constitution allows for a candidate to be replaced on the ballot up to FOUR DAYS prior to the election. However, should Senator Wellstone's name remain on the ballot (the smart move in my opinion) and should Gov. Ventura step down from the office as he has said he might, then a Democrat will most likely be appointed to office. Should he not step down, it is highly possible that Ventura could appoint a Democrat or even do something more bizarre and pick a member from his Minnesota Independence Party.

Now that would be even more interesting.

Senator Paul Wellstone of Minnesota was killed in a plane crash along with his wife and children. Wellstone was up for re-election this year.

Wellstone's race was one of three or four very closely watched races this year that will determine the direction of Congress for the next two years (the Carnahan/Talent race of Missouri, the Lautenberg/Forrester race of New Jersey, the Kirk/Cornyn race in Texas, and the Allard/Strickland race in Colorado being some of the more closely watched). Depending on the laws in Minnesota, it is still questionable as to who can replace Wellstone on the ballot, if Wellstone will be replaced at all, or what could happen if Wellstone is left on the ballot and he wins the election along the lines of Mel Carnahan's posthumous win in 2000 that led to his widow, Jean Carnahan, being named as his successor. Carnahan, by law (whether Missouri state or federal law I am uncertain), faces a mid-term election as she was appointed and not actually voted into office.

If this is a similar situation where as in Missouri where the governor can appoint a replacement should Wellstone be posthumously elected, it will be interesting to see who Governor Jesse Ventura appoints to fill the position -- especially since he is not running for re-election this year. Talk about bizarre -- the potential for a lame duck governor holding the balance of power in the Senate in his hands.

This will be one interesting election day...

On a cool side note, my friend Gina (who I met an audition for the revival of the game show "21" and have been friends with ever since and is perhaps one of the coolest moms out there) now has her own blog -- Tales from a Crazed Mom. After hearing some of the stories of her and her children and their antics ("We will not CONGA out of the church!" being among my favorites...) this is sure to be a great daily read of mine...

So I had rugby practice last night and we did a tackling drill. We learned three new tackles that not only will help us get the defender down but will also help in winning the ball back so we can go for the try. For those unfamiliar with rugby, when a player is tackled, he MUST give up the ball. No if, ands, or buts about it.

The first one involved taking the player, twisting him around so the ball could be stripped out by our team member. The second involved taking the player down by the knees and using their momentum to carry him forward. The final one pretty much involved shoving the guy to the ground, again using their momentum.

Poor Toby. I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into. Toby, I guesstimate, is about 6'3, maybe 190, and pretty quick and definitely strong. The first few times we really weren't that physical because I think we just knew that at some point the ball would have been stripped out within seconds. Then we started throwing each other to the ground. During one tackle, I accidentally stuck my fingers up Toby's nose and we thought it was bleeding but not severly. Of course, I apologized profusely (which is something I will not be doing to the opposition). After one tackle, Toby got up and said, "You really know how to use your weight!" I will say this, though, for as good as I gave to Toby, he gave it right back to me. I was determined to power past him and score a try and came within inches of doing so before I was taken down. And do mean mere inches. I have more than a few bruises starting to form just from where Toby grabbed me in the drill.

There's something really cool going on with me and rugby. It's been giving me more confidence in that I do have these abilities that I have denied for so long. I am still a rather strong guy and one tough mofo when I need to be. For a guy who just touched a rugby ball for the first time last week, Steve, one of the coaches, is turning me into his pet project. He told me last night that I have the potential to be a great rugby player. Heck, I was shooting for just good or at least competent. There's something oddly satisfying about going out, running your brains out (cardio vascular conditioning is my off-season training requirement), and feeling great about it (not to mention coughing your brains out) afterwards.

Also, let's admit it...we are a gay rugby team. There's something even more satisfying in going out and doing something that is diametrically opposed to the perceptions and stereotypes of gay men. Yes, we do have a few nelly moments here and there, but for the most part, we get out there and play as hard as we can. Even if I suck as a player or we don't do well as a team, I can see this entire experience making me a better person.

I am the proud owner of a pair of contact lenses to help me play rugby. They are not an exact prescription as they are my trial pair. Additionally they are soft lenses and I am used to wearing hard lenses. The concept of getting them in and out of my eyes should be very interesting...

I knew that there was something missing in my life but I wasn't sure what it is....it was Miss Cleo...CALL me now-ah for you're-ah fuh-ree readin'...

On another side note, I have to thank The Daily Dose for pointing me to the Best of Craig's List. For those that don't know, Craig's List is this HUGE non-profit multi-city online bulletin board where you can find an apartment, a job, a boyfriend, etc. Well, this was some of the best of the worst/weirdest/wildest/scariest things that they have seen in quite some time.

The bukakke model one cracked me up. If you need to know what a bukakke model is...just email me but be forewarned you might not like it...

You Are A Romantic Kisser!

You'll only kiss if the mood is right and if you think you are falling in love.

Some may say you're old fashioned, but when you kiss, you see stars!

One kiss from you, and anyone will be hooked forever.



How Do *You* Kiss?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Oh and on a small side note, for those that pray, chant, meditate, or whatever you do to your higher being of choice, send out some extra special good vibes to my friend Dee who is going back into the hospital this week for exploratory surgery and have another section of her colon removed. Things look very positive this time but still...good vibes in her direction are appreciated!

I've come to a very hard decision this week. I am not going to be seeing my family over the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. For some people this might not seem like a big deal but for me it is.

I may bitch and moan and gripe about my family but I do love them dearly. I've always been able to spend Christmas with them every year while Thanksgiving has always been one of those holidays where if I get to see my family it's great and if not...well, that's okay. I've missed a few Thanksgivings with my family in the past but I have never missed a Christmas. Never. So, for the first time ever, I will not be spending that day with my family and I'm not really sure how I feel about that.

If my psycho grandmother comes (yes, the one I bitched out ON Christmas Day two years ago and for those of you that said that you should never bitch out your elders, trust me, this one was a long time coming and she deserved it and it shut her up...you know that commercial where the girls says, "I'm getting paid to do this Apple commercial and I saved Christmas!", well that was me because it put my grandmother in her place and therefore saved what was left of Christmas)...ANYWAY...if the psycho grandmother comes then it's good because I have a very low tolerance for her treatment of my parents (especially my mother whom I've come to realize she really doesn't like) as a guest in their house and how she has treated my sister and myself. For the record, this is the woman who complains that it's too cold in my parents house when it's 72 degrees, doesn't put on a sweater or a jacket or pull a blanket over her, and acts like a martyr. On Christmas Day, I told her that if she didn't like it I would be more than willing to put her ass on the first plane back to South Carolina where she can sit and stew in her own juices. (I was mean that year). Anyway, on the good side, I won't have to deal with it, but on the bad side, she's not in the best of health and this may be her last Christmas.

Then there's my nephew that I haven't seen since July who is growing up fast and I fear won't really get to know me as an uncle or have much of an impact in his life. My parents, the parents of my brother-in-law, and my brother-in-law's sister all live in Jacksonville. They get to spend copious amounts of time with Rob (my nephew) and to a certain extent I feel somewhat left out of his life no matter how hard I try to keep in contact with my family. Some people have said that if I really feel this way then I should move back to Florida to spend the time with him. That is not an option.

It's rather odd. When I lived in Florida, I did not have a great relationship with either of my parents. However, when I took the job with PricewaterhouseCoopers and moved up here (first to New Jersey and then to NYC proper), I had to prove to them that I could sustain myself on my own without their support. I was 23 years old and taking a job in a new city away from my family who insisted that it was a bad idea because they would not be able to assist me should something happen. My reponse was that maybe it was time for me to step away and make it on my own for once. I don't think my family wanted to hear that but I think I've gained a measure of respect in their eyes for doing so. Additionally, my relationship with my family (especially my parents) is much better now that I live farther away. I know it sounds odd, but it's true. Many friends have stated the same thing as well. Part of me, I guess, is afraid that I won't have the same relationship with my parents if I return to Florida.

Then again, let's face facts. I love living here in NYC and have more opportunites to experience different things than I would in Florida. Once I said I would rather slit my wrists and sit in a hot tub than return to Florida. There's a bit of truth in that statement.

But I've digressed once again.

I'm wondering what to do this year for Christmas as I won't be opening presents or drinking rum-laced eggnog with the family and I'm still not sure how I feel about all of this beyond sad and somewhat excited. Perhaps this will be the kick start I need to make 2003 a much better year than 2002 ever was.

Ho, ho, ho...

I need to hang out with Edie more often. Especially when things like this happen around her. Knowing my luck, Ben Affleck would walk in and hit on our male waiter instead of me.

Jim continues to crack me up with his blog. Some days it's wonderful and insightful and some days I wish I was there watching the girl-on-girl licking along with him. I know...me and girl-on-girl licking. What a combination.

By the way, on a side note, for some odd reason I stepped on a scale at a department store last night and my worst fears were confirmed. I've lost about 20 pounds. :) I'm happy.

I dunno if it is going to stick with the rugby team, but my friend David came up with a rugby nickname for me based upon my position in the scrum. In the scrum, I play prop and the prop stands next to the hooker. Based upon this piece of information, I was given the nickname of Pimp Daddy.

It cracked me up...

Walt, aka Cucalambe, found the funniest thing in fake advertising since the movie companies were accused of using fake promotional quotes and employees to sell their movies on viewers...

This is about Microsoft and their response those Macintosh commercials where people talk of their conversion the new computer...stupid Microsoft...they totally underestimated their customer base (i.e., computer nerds)...It's a NY Times article so you will need an NY Times ID and password to view the article if you don't already have one. If you don't, not a problem, it's free to register...and worth it...

Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known. (Along with my comments in italics...)

Viruses you suffer from:

Sci-fi -- Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
This is a laugh because I hate sci-fi...

Industrial -- Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
Again, another laugher. I am such a jazz/Ella Fitzgerald kinda guy...

Religion -- Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Well I was raised going to church but not that religious anymore...

Politics -- Stop caring!
After 2000 and Florida, I can't help but care...

Viruses you might suffer from:

TotL (85%) -- Go read Brunching
I hate Lord of the Rings. This is a total lie...

Linux (80%) -- Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
What crack is this? What the hell is Linux?

Junkfood (60%) -- Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Somewhat true although I have lost a lot of weight as of late...

8-Bit (90%) -- Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
I wish I knew what this meant...

British (60%) -- No need for cure. Benign virus.
I'm sucker for a British accent...

Brand Names (75%) -- Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Trust me I know this...

Computer Games (90%) -- Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Um okay....I don't really play computer games...I can just recognize them...

Conspiracy Theory (75%) -- Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
This one is somewhat true...

Hippyism (60%) -- Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Funny...never thought of myself as a hippy...

Environmentalism (70%) -- Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
But I like to separate glass from plastic...

Macintosh (60%) -- Use a mouse with more than one button.
I haven't used a Mac in YEARS...

Southampton (84%) -- Move to the Isle of Wight.
Okay if this was Long Island Southampton it might be true...

And two other small notes...

My new boss is adorable -- especially when he speaks in his cute accent.

I know what my next tattoo will be....when I get it all will be revealed....let's just say small and painless....I hope...

It's another random stream of consciousness entry. My apologies in advance...

Can I just say this whole sniper thing is really freaking me out to a certain extent? So many innocent people are being killed because of someone's sick twisted and warped mind. A.J., honey, if you read this I am so glad that you no longer live there.

Got invited to a sex party this weekend. Turned it down to attend the Gotham Knights rugby match against the Village Lions. Does the fact that I now place social interaction over random sex mean that I am growing up? On a side note, we lost both of our matches to the Lions but we did have fun drinking all of their beer and eating all of their food. And massaging players on my own team...

The question was asked of me once again if the rugby player in Brian would be running for Chorus Butch. If I do run, I know of only one person that I would be running against and those who are recruiting me think I have an excellent chance of beating him. If I did win (and even more shockingly, if I won) it would be a major departure from the concept of Chorus Butch. Going from a string of leather daddies to a rugby player would be a big swing...

I'm settling into the loft bed nicely although I do need something to put on the top of the sides of the ladder. It's unfinished wood with rough edges and I could do some serious damage if I am not careful getting out of bed.

I still think taking on Iraq is a major Wag the Dog tactic on the part of our government. Glad to know there are other countries out there who are going..."Are you sure you want to do this?"

I watched the Academy Award winning documentary "One Day in September" about the 1972 Munich Olympics and the deaths of the eleven Israeli athletes. I read the book before I saw thedocumentary and I think the book gives much better details about the actual events than what was shown in the actual documentary. Where the documentary ends with the deaths of the athletes and the memorial ceremony, the book goes on to talk about the Israeli retaliation and the coverup of the German and Bavarian governments in regards to their inability to protect, defend, and rescue the athletes.

I am craving a burger from McHales right now.

I find the fact that Rosie O'Donnell has now taken on the case of those two Florida boys who were convicted of murdering their father is borderline hysterical. This woman has gone nuts since she left her show. She has a dykie-do hairstyle which she claims was done at the behest of (get this ) Boy George but I think it's because she's finally out of the closet and can be big of a lesbian as she wants to be. I've met this woman on two separate occasions and she was a bitch both times.

Another funny court case that is cracking me up is in regards to Barry Bonds' 73rd homerun ball. The question is as follows -- If you catch the ball is it yours to keep or is it just fair game for a leg-biting, pile hopping ball snatcher to take away? If you can't tell I'm favoring the plaintiff on this one. I hope the defendant gets the book thrown at him. Preferably a big, large heavy one that will cause damage.

The name of the one chorus member I have a small crush on has been determined to be one of those names where you have to say all of it or it just sounds odd. Think of that episode of Will and Grace where will can only call Sandra Bernhard by her full name and not just Sandy or Sandra.

My employer was mentioned in last night's episode of the Sopranos. How funny...does this mean we're tied to mobsters now?

"The Godfathers" by Paul Rudnick

"Michael S. Ovitz, once the reigning uber-agent and dealmaker of Hollywood [...] chose to give a blistering and, to many, bewildering interview to Vanity Fair. He said that a 'gay mafia' was largely responsible for engineering his downfall."

MEMO TO: All federal agents.

RE: The F.B.I.'s racketeering division recently infilitrated the nation's alleged Gay Mafia, with operatives working undercover as vicious choreographers, neo-con columnists, and chatty houseboys. These moles have discovered many significant differences between this far-reaching criminal enterprise and its heterosexual counterpart.

1. Gay godfathers usually are godfathers, but they can also be favorite uncles, athletic aunts, and brothers-in-law who do publicity.
2. The Broadway community has been repeatedly terrorized by gay thugs, who will often force the entire cast of a musical comedy to raise their arms at the end of every number.
3. High-ranking members of the Gay Mafia communicate almost exclusively by phone. Code phrases include "Stop it," "So when I ran into him I was very so-fine-we-had-sex-so-what-I-still-hate-you," and "Oh, she's one to talk."
4. Gay hit men have been known to slaughter a rival simply by entering his apartment, glancing around, and commenting, "Oh, I love that, you're still doing Mission."
5. A gay crime boss will often terrorize a capo by leaving the severed head of his cleaning woman in his bed.
6. There is definitely a female Gay Mafia, and they all sided with Ellen.
7. The Gay Mafia's links to the Catholic Church are extensive, and most often begin with the phrase, "Jimmy, did you know that the Apostles liked to wrestle?"
8. There is an unbreakable Gay Mafia code of silence, but it lasts only until a member's best friend answers the page.
9. A person becomes a "made man" in the Gay Mafia only when he orders unneccessary T-shirts just so Abercrombie and Fitch will keep him on its mailing list.
10. The Gay Mafia has its origins in ancient Greece, when Don Plato first remarked to a group of graceful youths, "I am so over Carthage."
11. The Gay Mafia has been known to threaten highly placed figures in the fashion industry by refusing to purchase anything from their home collections.
12. Even the most powerful gay dons do not dare to challenge Michael Feinstein.
13. The Gay Mafia is rumored to have important ties to Nancy Sinatra.
14. The Gay Mafia is assumed to have connections with dockworke! rs and longshoremen, because they're just so damn hot.
15. The Gay Mafia dons are also calls rons and davids.
16. The Gay Mafia has been linked to prostitution, drugs, and pornography, especially as gifts.
17. The Transgendered Mafia is becoming a major player, mostly because they're so tall.
18. Gay mafiosi are particularly fond of the movie "Scarface," but they think it's the life of Joan Rivers.
19. Lieutenants in the Gay Mafia are usually heavily armed, especially during tank-top season.

I so wish I could take credit for this one but I can't. Alas, I leave you this to enjoy on your own...

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We
have all been to those meetings where someone says they want over 100%. So,
for those looking to achieve, I present a little math that might prove
helpful. What makes life 100%? Want to know the secret? If we change each
letter to their corresponding numbers, A - Z are represented as: 1 - 26.

Then,
H A R D W O R K
8 + 1 + 18 + 4 + 23 + 15 + 18 + 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 + 14 + 15 + 23 + 12 + 5 + 4 + 7 + 5 = 96%

But,
A T T I T U D E
1 + 20 + 20 + 9 + 20 + 21 + 4 + 5 = 100%

And,
B U L L S H I T
2 + 21 + 12 + 12 + 19 + 8 + 9 + 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 + 19 + 19 + 11 + 9 + 19 + 19 + 9 + 14 + 7 = 118%

Is there something in the drinking water? I now know FOUR people who are engaged to be married. Three of those announcements were made in the last two months.

I just got the funniest email in the world. One of my lovely readers from RealityNewsOnline.com sent me a link to Christi as Miss Idaho in the Miss America Pageant. So here is it.

Her talent -- dramatic monologue. I bet she had to cry in it.

Just a quick note before I leave for the office about last night's episode of The Bachelor....Christi has so many emotional issues. I think she had a lust attraction to Aaron and wanted to marry him on looks and accomplishments alone. She didn't get a chance to get to know him as a person and there she was saying, "Oh yeah, I'd marry him." Of course she also claimed not to be an emotional basket case but there she was bawling her eyes out left and right. Remember now, she's the former Miss Idaho and I have to wonder if her talent was crying on cue or when she won if she's didn't have a little puddle around her. She kept saying that if she and Aaron had not met through the show then they would have been together by now. I beg to disagree. Something tells me he would have still seen those same Fatal Attraction qualities in her and she would have been on the street again crying her eyes about wondering what went wrong in the universe.

I find it odd that people can fall in love with someone so fast without knowing very much, if anything about them. Christi had a few cocktail parties with him and two group dates where she was always around other women and occasionally alone with him but never that often. So what if he kissed her...he also kissed some other women (Suzanne, Gwen, Helene, Brooke...the list goes on and on)...

Christi...suck it up honey. It was not meant to be. There were just better candidates out there...

Post mortem on the rugby practce -- a lot of fun but not as sore as I expected to be. I expected to be limping around the office today begging for Excedrin, Aleve, or some Darvocet or something but actually I am just a little sore from using muscles I haven't used in a while. The guys on the team really were helpful in giving me tips and helping me along the way for my first practice. I can't wait for the next one.

There is something to be said about sportsmanship and the spirit of teamwork. From my sports experience (and for those of you out there shaking your heads and going, "Sports experience? Brian???" let me just say that I have played other sports before and I kinda know what I am talking about on this one...) it has always been the case where the coach or your fellow teammates are yelling at you when you do something wrong or make a simple error -- not just in a game mind you, but in practice as well. This was a much different scenario.

This time there was positive reinforcement and teammates who were more than willing to stop our small group practice to teach me some of the more basic fundamentals about rucking and mauling. It was a combination of "we don't want you to get hurt and we don't want you to hurt us" complex. They were all very patient and very giving with their time which was rather refreshing. They knew they had a newbie in their midst and were willing to teach me what I needed to know in order to make it through the drills. I learned a bit just from watching other people do their drills but it was nice to get out there and get physical.

Next stop on the Rugby Tour is a trip to the optometrist to get my eyes examined and fitted for contacts! Woo hoo!

I leave for my first real rugby practice in about 30 minutes...more news as it comes in...

Hmmm interesting notes from the long Columbus Day weekend....take note of how odd my life was in the past few days...

Friday night

Bought loft bed. With delivery and installation it came to around $600 for the mattress, frame, and cover. I opted for the six foot high pine over the seven foot birch. Please remember this fact as you will need it for the Sunday night portion of this entry.

Went to Bed Bath and Beyond with my roommate, Dan. Dan just loves to shop. He would stop to look at something and say, "Oooh, let's get this for the bathroom," or, "Oooh, let's get this for the kitchen." Each time I was like..."I have that already. I just need to unpack it later." It was during this trip that I realized that I still had a lot of crap left over and I really do own too much. Promised to do more condensing. Spent another $110+ at BB&B for a free-standing wardrobe, a lamp, and other sundry products. Still need to buy a mirror, a rug, and the over the door ironing board that I promised myself. Next paycheck.

Saturday

Rugby match with the Gotham RFC. I woke up late and then had to lug my bag of laundry down three blocks and over two. As I had not done laundry in a while the bag was rather full. 45 pounds full. I was in shock that I had not done laundry in that long.

Got on the subway to go to the match. Needed to change trains at 168th Street but I got so involved into eavesdropping on the two girls talking about how they liked to have a certain sexual act performed on them that I missed the stop and had to get off at the next stop, transfer to a downtown train, and then to the train to take me to the match. Let's just say that there is a reason why I am gay and these two women confirmed it for me.

Rugby match -- Gotham played their hearts out and put a lot of pressure on their opposing team. They didn't win but they played really really hard. (Incidentally, my first real practice with them is tonight.) At the post match drink-up at the Eagle, I put my massaging skills to the test and got a marriage proposal from our female coach. One guy did take his shirt off in the middle of massaging him. I could get to like this team.

On the subway ride back, I was treated to music from a mariachi trio, a hip hop acrobatic duo who thought that gymnastic stunts on a crowded subway train were in order, and a blind accordian player. All of this on one train.

Sunday

Woke up insanely early and started to take things down to the trash area in the basement in order to make room for the new loft bed. By 9:00, not only was my bed, headboard, and bed frame downstairs, but I had already pushed everything to one end of the bedroom to make enough space for the guys to build my bed.

Waiting ensues.

At 2:30 the bed arrives. The guys claim that my phone is out of order. Yet when they do a test call from the guy's cell phone it works like a dream. Serious doubts that they tried to call. Then they said that the door buzzer wasn't working. I find that hard to believe since the delivery people made it in just fine the night before. Also one guy had majorly bad body odor and one guy kept asking if I was a student.

Loft bed installed. Decide to try it out. I quickly learn that I cannot lay on my back and hold my arm out straight without hitting the ceiling first. I am about two, maybe two and a half, even more possible three feet, from the ceiling. At least I now have a use for the tap lights I bought eons ago and never used. I would rather use those than turn on the ceiling lights and have to get off the bed each time to turn them off and on. Thank God I got the guard rails.

Walking back from the laundromat, I hear people yelling in their lobby. One person is telling the other how stupid they are and I swear if I heard gunshots I would have packed up everything and moved on the spot. On the next block, someone tried to hand me a religious pamphlet. Mind you, I'm lugging a bag of laundry with me at the time and don't have a hand free. When I try to pass by them, I get called the devil. I've been called worse.

First night of sleeping in the loft bed. Weird experience. Barely slept. Odd having the ceiling THAT close to your face. At least I don't hit it when I sit up in bed.

Monday

Woke up and spent an agonizing hour trying to remember whether or not I had the day off. Then I decided that I had it off after I realized that I got paid on Friday and I would have been paid on Monday had I not had the day off.

Found the weirdest blog so far -- two grannies giving advice. And ya know...they give good advice.

Went to the Sports Authority on 34th Street only to realize that it's no longer there. I spent about half an hour walking around the area looking for it since I wasn't exactly sure where it was. Then I realized it was closed to make room for a new H&M. Went up to 42nd Street remember that a Champs Sporting Goods store had opened there only to realize that it was still under construction. Finally gave up and went to the internet cafe on 42nd Street to look for a Sports Authority online. Between buying shoes, shorts, shirts, etc., I plunked down another $200 for rugby gear. I forgot the mouthpiece though so that's today's lunch trip.

On the way back home, I got to hear about a couple and their impotency problems and how her husband will not go to the doctor to get Viagra because he's embarassed about it. Gee. Just what you want to hear.

Went to have burgers at McHales (the best burgers in Manhattan) with my friend Amy. On our way to the subway, we were warned by a subway savant to stay away from the "funny grass." On the subway, I was then serenaded by a pair of drummers with their bongos and brought back memories of "Conga" by Gloria Estefan...

Hopefully there will be some normalcy now..

Sometimes I am really scared at how people find my blog through Google.com.

Today's newest entry into the "Oh my God! THAT'S how they found me?" list is....

married NYC fuck buddy

I have to know where that one came from...

I got the following response to one of my posts and I thought I would take the moment to respond to it because it brings up some interesting points and issues...

I'd have to agree with most of your comments about Christi. Here melodramatics and drama were quite uncalled for and at times painful to watch. I do, however, disagree with your comment, "Christi was acting like a sorority girl treating her least favorite pledge with total contempt." How many sorority women do you actually know? And secondly, you're purpetuating a major stereotype of Greek women. Not all Greek women are stuck up, or snotty, or mean or rude, or anything. Let me rephrase that, not even a majority of women are like that. We're people, just like those that don't belong to a Greek organization, we just happen to have a label that you can throw on us. ok...sorry for the rant, I just wanted to suggest that maybe you were unfairly stereotyping many women.

Well, first and foremost, my comments was not designed to make any statement about the Greek system or, more specifically, sororities and the women who make up their membership. The reason I made that analogy was due in part to having talked with a few of the women from the first edition of The Bachelor who actually referred to themselves as the weirdest sorority in the world.

For the record, I know many women who were part of sororities. Some were very, very nice women and some were complete total bitches. I will agree with you and say that the majority fall into the nice category without fail. However, if I had called her a "stuck up sorority girl" instead of just a generic "sorority girl" would that have made a difference? I don't know. If I was giving off the wrong impression then I am totally sorry because it was not my intent. I think this is one of those situations where your own personal situation dictates how you react to a statement. I used the term "sorority" because it was what was used with me.

Now, on another note, let's give a big salute to former President Jimmy Carter on his well deserved Nobel Peace Prize. As a rule, I do not admire many people as much as I admire people's actions in times of crisis and adversity. President Carter is one of the few men who I admire both as a person for his philosophy and dedication as well as for his continued efforts of bringing peace through well thought out negotiations and mediation. I think his presidency is one of the most underrated given the heavy weight of the Iran hostage situation. He worked tirelessly to bring about the Camp David Accords which brought peace between Israel and Egypt and I can only wonder what would happen if he got Yasser Arafat and Ariel Sharon in the same room for thirteen days as he did with Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat.

Because I know people really care about the Miss World Pageant, Costa Rica has joined France, Belgium, Spain, Norway, the Ivory Coast, and Kenya in boycotting the pageant to be held in Nigeria. They are boycotting the death sentence handed down to Amina Lawal.

It's supposed to be death by stoning and I never really knew what that entailed until I saw it on the Today show this morning. Stoning involves buying a person up to their neck so only their head is visible and then tossing stones at them until they are dead. It just sounds so brutal and heinous and cruel. There is so much more body trauma than just getting whacked in the head with a rock. There's the body's inability to expand to take in oxygen. There's the body trying to stay alive or awake when they are being pummeled with these rocks. It sounds so horrific that when I first heard it described I couldn't get the image of what this woman would look like while it was going on.

I agree with the boycott, but I am not sure what good it will do. Every little bit does count though.

There are times when I am glad to be a gay man. Last night was one of those nights.

I was watching The Bachelor last night and this gal Christi went completely apeshit. Since I am in my British hip lit mode of reading right now, I could use the word "gobsmacked" as well. If anyone got any extra time with Aaron she was an emotional wreck. After spending one very long night where she had to share him with twenty four other women to a one-day group date where she had to share him with four other women. And now she says she loves him. Okay, I hope that when she taped that line it was quite some time after that date. If it wasn't, then I want to tattoo the words "needy emotional bitch" on her forehead.

Needy -- Did you see how she clinged to Aaron during their date? Christi, honey, you are 23. You have plenty of time to get out there and find a husband. My God...you are acting like this is your only chance in life to get a great guy. Move from Idaho if that's how you feel.

Emotional -- This woman cannot take constructive criticism (or any criticism for that matter). When Anindita rightly confronted her about rolling her eyes when Suzanne (who was such a hottie last night that I might have come close to doing her) entered or left the room. Christi was acting like a sorority girl treating her least favorite pledge with total contempt -- and publicly at that. Now, in the first episode, I adored her. But when she ran off to have a good cry because the comments were cutting a little too close to the truth, I wanted to yank her back by her blonde tresses and smack her silly. And don't even get me started on the puppy dog eyes at the rose ceremony. You should have gotten the shaft and Suzanne should stay.

But ya know...anything could happen and it could all turn around and I'll adore her by the end of the show.

But while I am at it..mega kudos to Anindita and Frances for just standing up and saying, "Hey this isn't my ball of wax and I don't want to be with you or og any farther." I mean that took guts. That took major courage. I mean Aaron made it clear that they were not getting a rose to begin with after they had left, but just the fact that they put themselves out there to say, "Yo, this whole thing is not for me so if you're even thinking about it, don't." You have to respect stuff like that and I think feminists around the WORLD should be taking another look at that and saying, "Wow."

Getting the reaction from my friends and family regarding my new interest in rugby has been interesting.

My mother started off with an entire litany of reasons why I shouldn't play ranging from "You're not athletic" (that's okay, Mom, they take inexperienced people like me and work with us to get us up to speed, in better shape, and make us better players) to "They don't wear any protective gear" ("Yes, Mom, I know...and?").

My friend Elizabeth was a bit more sedate. "That's no sissy game, that's for sure." She just wants a picture of me tackling a man, I think.

My friend Loa wants me to be careful since her father ruined his knee playing rugby. Well considering that my knees are messed up, too, this might happen sooner than I think.

My friend Nina just wants to know the rules. Hmmm...so do I.

My friend Ron warned me not to mention Fight Club. I'm going to have to ask him for an explanation for this one.

My friend Lisa wanted to know if it was a gay team. Of course it's a gay team, Lisa.

Anyway, the practice last night was, in hindsight, a little more intimidating than my original impression. I am going to go back and give it a try because I am not someone who gives up without even trying. All I have to say is that the tackling drill they did looked like a lot of fun. I'm probably going to go gear shopping this weekend for some jerseys, shorts, socks, and so on. They really are a nice bunch of guys. We went to an Irish pub following the practice and I got to meet and socialize with some of the guys. One of the men said that since he joined the team he has lost two pants sizes and has more energy. In addition, they really talked up how the team bonds with each other after each match by going to a bar (often with the other team) to pound a few beers and sing rugby songs.

They did mention, with much humor, the straight team they had just played who sang a rugby song about getting um...rimmed...I can rimmed right? Anyway, it was sung to the holiday song "Sleigh Ride." While the men sang, "I want a rim, rim, rim-ah, rim, rim, rim, rim-ah, rim job..." their girlfriends and wives all jingled their car keys to mimic the sleigh bells. One of the guys said, "We were ready to give it to them if they really wanted it, too..."

Oh yeah, this going to be fun...

The New York Blade, the gay and lesbian paper in NYC, has this section in the back of their paper called "Bitch Session" that has always cracked me up. Some of them are dead on with their gripes (at least in my opinion) and some are just headscratchers. Then there are those like this one that just piss me off...

There was one guy who called himself a "muscleboi." First and foremost, I hate it when gay men (and they are MEN aren't they?) call themselves "boi" and spell it as I just did. If you are over the age of 25, then you are a man. "Boi" doesn't really qualify for you. I know men in their thirties and forties who call themselves "bois." It's ridiculous. It peeves me off. Grow up, dammit. You are not Peter Pan and you are going to get older whether you want to or not.

Anyway, "muscleboi" goes on to complain about how tired he is of people complimenting him on his good genetic makeup and his body and how people who don't commit to his regimen of exercise, diet, and so forth, shouldn't even bother talking to him or "touching" him. What an arrogant prick? Just based on that alone I want nothing to do with you! Beauty is only skin deep, "muscleboi," but as they say, ugly goes right to the bone. Just because people don't make the same "effort" or have the same "determination" that you do doesn't mean that they aren't worthy to be talked to or even acknowledged. So you keep working out and keep that great attitude and we'll see how many people come floating your way when all you have a nice body but nothing else to back it up. (This also applies to the man who referred to the "trolls" at his gym and the saunas.)

Let's face it. Bodies can be nice to look at but I am tired of people blatantly dismissing a member of our own community. We already have enough division within the L/G/B/T community than having to openly and publicly say it. When it comes down to it, we are all one large group and there is no way that we are going to earn the civil liberties we desire if we continue to act like certain parts of our commuinty aren't even worth recognizing.

I'm more attracted to a man who can carry on an intelligent conversation. I don't care how much you benchpress, how many times a week you go to the gym, how big your arms or thighs are, or what's the best protein supplement to buy. If maintaining the perfect body is your only interest in life then that's pretty sad. As of late, I've been treating my body better by eating properly, watching my intake, and keeping things on a nice even level. I don't obssess over it because it's not worth obssessing over. I would rather have someone want me for who I am as a person rather than want me for the body I have now. Who I am will, for the most part, will remain the same. A body can be impacted and affected in so many different ways. I guess it all just depends on whether you want the outside or the inside package...

P.S. And to the 35 year old guy who prefers the company of men in their 40s over twinks in their 20s. He says it's because the older men aren't going to be worrying about where their next drink is coming from. I prefer men in their 30s more than men in my own age group because it's so rare to find one that can carry an intelligent conversation that doesn't include references to Britney Spears or pop groups that I find hopelessly boring.

Last night was a weird night.

Weirdness Part I

As many of you know, I volunteer with the NYC Gay Men's Chorus. Well, ever since the minor scandal with the chorine that I had a huge crush on for most of the last season and did nothing about it and wound up not getting the guy because he found another guy and if I had just stepped up to the plate and done something about it then it would have been a lot less stress on Monday night's for me, I had decided that I was not going to even bother looking at any of the new chorines because it would only cause more unneeded stress in my life. (Besides many of us have already determined that a certain P-town dwelling chorine who just returned from an extended leave is just about the sexiest man alive.) So here I was dishing out the name tags last night in an effort to get the gents through the line and into rehearsal when I handed one new chorine his name tag. He flashed me this blinding smile that made me go weak in the knees and uttered a most astonished "thank you" and pretty much left me in a pool of jelly. Then when he left, he did it again. Jelly.

Weirdness Part II

Again at chorus rehearsal, I mentioned to the sexiest man alive (as deemed by a consensus of the associate members) that I may be joining the gay rugby team. As he was leaving, he told me that if I did join, that I should run for the title of Chorus Butch.

Let me explain the concept of Chorus Butch and Chorus Queen. Each year at their winter retreat (a time for concentrated rehearsal and merriment) the chorus elects a new queen and butch. The queen is, typically, one of the lovely members who does drag. From my own personal recollection, I do not know of any Chorus Queen that didn't do drag. The butch is, generally, one of the more leather oriented members of the group. Therefore the concept of me running for Chorus Butch really cracked me up and I had a nice laugh over it all the way home. Sexy chorine, of course, said that the idea of me in my rugby jersey, shorts, and cleats would win them over and he would even campaign for me. Well, let me get through one rugby practice before we go to that step.

Weirdness Part III

Part of my unofficial duties as an associate member is to walk around giving back massages to chorus members. I do it for two reasons -- 1) my hands are victims of arthritis and carpal tunnal and doing these massages helps to keep my hands strong and 2) it helps to relieve my stress as well as that of the chorus members. You could also say it allows me to molest them as well but that's not a big reason (although sometimes it is...). Anyway, one of the people I massaged last night appeared in my dreams. And it wasn't one of those dreams where you're skiing or talking to people...this was a sex dream and I was getting into some pretty hot and heavy (dare I say kinky?) action with this individual. When I woke up after a certain intense moment in the dream, it was almost four in the morning and I was covered in sweat. I grabbed my towel, attempted to dry myself off (I still felt sticky), and went to back to bed. Once I fell back asleep, the dream picked up. All I have to say is that if there is any chance that this dream comes true (and it is a small one) then all I have to say is, "Oh holy fuck..."

It's getting hot in here just thinking about that dream...

Conclusive proof as to which Olsen Twin is more preferred....click here or click here. Either way, she's still on top!

Help is requested all you wacky New Yorkers. I need to buy a loft bed and I need some suggestions as to where to go to purchase one at a good price and not get ripped off. IKEA is a last resort because I want to have this ASAP and not have to wait for it to be delivered.

Any suggestions are appreciated. Either tag it up on the comment link below or click the "contact me" line to the left and let me have it...Or if anyone is driving out to IKEA in Elizabeth or on Long Island and would be willing to let me tag along and take my stuff home I'd be willing to pay... :) Please oh please oh please...

Forgive the random stream of consciousness but think of this as one giant brain enema with a lot of random things coming out...

I have a new toy now...Googlefight.com is perhaps the most hysterical thing I have done in quite some time. I know it's so simple and easy and baseless and what have you, but I think that is the charm of it all. In the "Fight of the Month," Hell beat out Paradise 8.94 million to 4.99 million. Oh well...

In other news, yours truly was recruited to join the Gotham Knights RFC, the gay rugby football club in NYC. I am most likely attending a practice tomorrow night so I can see the group and get a feel for the atmosphere. Granted, I am not the most athletic or coordinated of people but apparently they still want me to come out and take a look anyway. They practice (God, I almost said rehearse) twice a week and it would be a great way of getting some exercise and picking up a new sport at the same time. I mean I have played some baseball, softball, and football in my life. Turns out I might actually know one of the guys on the team already. Too bad their season is coming to an end. Otherwise it would have been nice to have been doing it from the beginning.

Steve, aka Mr. New Orleans, is on his way back to the hurricane ravaged Bayou State today. It was good meeting someone that you've only known from your online conversations and learned that they are just as nice in person as they are online. The jury is still out as to whether or not he is going to be moving to the Big Apple but we shall see.

Then there was the depressing news that my beloved Yankees took a tumble to the Angels and will not be advancing in the world series. All I have to ask is what will my life be like in October and November this year? I mean, if the Twins keep winning I'll be happy about it all. I might love my Yankees, but there's something about the Twins that I have always liked going back to 1991 and even before that!

This quiz result is of no shock to any of my friends...although I am not sure if I like being called a sneaky fuck...

You Should Be On The Mole!

You sneaky fuck! You are the best liar in town,


and you need to go on the Mole ASAP. Even if you don't get to be the Mole,


you will certainly throw a wrentch in things...



What Reality TV Show Should You Be On? Click Here to Find Out!

I also started fiddling around with a new plotline for a play. We'll see where it leads but it's one of those family drama, rip your heart out, stomp on the ground, put it back in, and expect it to start beating again.

I saw Moonlight Mile this weekend. Very good movie. Very life affirming. I just adore Susan Sarandon.

Jude Law's daughter accidentally took ecstacy at a birthday party this weekend. I found it really funny at first because I thought, "Oh God, Jude's doing X." But then I learned they rented a space for the birthday party and it was something that was found on the floor. Does no one vaccuum after a shindig over there?

President Bush is going to talk on TV about why we need to go to war with Iraq and finish what his father started. Personally, I still think this is a "Wag the Dog" on our plummeting economy and he needs to start addressing that as well.

Four countries are now boycotting the Miss World Pageant in Nigeria to protest the death sentence imposed on Amina Lawal. I am not sure if the death sentence was for adultery or having a baby out of wedlock or both, but it does seem rather extreme. I mean, in the US, it can get you a political office.

I really want to go to the sex museum in NYC but it's not something I want to do alone if you know what I mean. It's one thing to go alone and be thought of as a pervert. It's another thing to go with a group of friends and be thought of as a cluster fuck.

Also, I'm really surprised that there has not been a verdict in the Florida transsexual custody case. Based on the evidence I saw on TV and the articles I read, Michael/Margo Kantares has a pretty good case to get at least visitation or join custody of the kids. His wife looked like a total whack job...

Brain fart over...on with your lives...

I have come to the conclusion that I need a sherpa to navigate the gay ghetto. I am so hopelessly lost (and on occasion uncomfortable) down there that I should pretty much turn in my gay green card and be done with it.

You're probably wondering where all of this is coming from and part of me is wondering it as well. Actually, I have a pretty good idea where it is coming from and it's not something that I am overly proud of. In my previous entry I talked about Steve from New Orleans who is in town visiting the city to determine whether or not he wants to move up here.

Friday night I took him to a New York City Gay Men's Chorus new member's social as he is a member of the New Orleans Gay Men's Chorus. When I moved from Florida, the first thing that I did was to get involved with the NYCGMC because I had just sung with the Jacksonville Gay Chorus and the cross to another chorus was, perhaps, the most natural thing for me to do. This way I was automatically introduced to other gay men. These were my first sherpas. These were the people who made me feel instantly comfortable in the city and helped me to get introduced to a few people.

However, in the close to five years that I have lived here, I have been to a gay bar exactly five times. I have never really been a bar person and, for the most part, have pretty much eschewed the thought of going to the bars. I knew I was pretty much in trouble when Steve said to meet him outside of Ty's Friday night before heading to dinner and I didn't know where Ty's was. The Dugout....forget it. I don't know why I didn't know where these places were (although I should have considering the fact that I interviewed at the Lucille Lortel Theatre which is on Christopher Street) but I didn't.

I think part of this stems from being a small fish in a big pond. When I lived in Jacksonville, the gay community there wasn't as large as it is in NYC. Therefore, I could go to the Metro on a weekly basis and always find someone there that I knew. Even if I didn't (which was rare) it was still a safe environment.

There's something ominous about a New York City bar. I guess reputations and myths about such establishments still reside in my Florida mind. For all of my pronouncements to my mother that NYC is not the place that she thinks it is, then why can't I put the bar phobia behind me. Maybe I need to find the bar that makes me feel comfortable and not like a pariah. Of course, there is also the fact that I abhor being cramped into small spaces with lots and lots of people.

The epiphany of that night at The Lure is still weighing heavily on my mind. I do need to put myself out there more. However, I need that level of comfort in order to make it happen. Going to The Lure with Steve made it happen. Now I need to make it happen for myself.

I'm still confused about last night. Shockingly enough, I am not referring to Survivor or any reality TV show.

As some of my friends know, I have been carrying on a running conversation with this really nice, cute guy named Steve from New Orleans who was considering moving to NYC and was coming up to scout out the area and look at apartments and so forth. From the pictures we exchanged, we were both attracted to each other and had, for the most part, become friends.

Last night, I met Steve for the first time and he was just as adorable as his pictures. His friends in Louisiana had recommended that he go to The Lure, a bar located on 13th Street near the river. Now the Lure is known for it's leather and uniform crowd that inhabits its confines on the weekend. Generally, the "dress code" isn't enforced during the week but it is on the weekend.

Anyway, Steve and I made our way down there and we kinda cruised around. When we arrived it was somewhat empty although I did run into someone from the chorus that I knew. But, for the longest time, it was an S&M joint -- Stand and Model. We were watching some guys play pool when Steve wanted to run to the bathroom and grab another beer. And that's when it happened. I was watching the pool game in progress when I noticed that one of the guys was checking me out. You know that feeling you get when you're being stared at? Well I got that feeling and it didn't take long for me to figure out who as giving it to me.

Yep, I was getting cruised at The Lure.

The guy's name was Will. He's Puerto Rican, former Army, and lives in Brooklyn. My first reaction when I saw him was, "He's cute," but I really didn't do anything or think anything of it because I was there with Steve, although it was becoming more of a friend "with" than a possible date/lover "with" and I was more than okay with that. In between shots, Will came over and stood next to me and we struck up a conversation. When Will took to the table to do his shots, Steve came back and my friend from the chorus, Greg, came over so now there are two guys flanking me and one guy playing pool who is not sure what to make of it. Will kept talking to me and we kept exchanging looks anyway which prompted Steve to say, "Well someone has a fan."

To make this really long story as short as possible, as the night progressed Will and I talked quite a bit about who we are and what we are like and things like that. Then we started making out. Yep...I made out in The Lure with a guy named Will. Now, I know this is going to sound wrong, but while I was making out with Will, I was secretly hoping that Steve wasn't getting upset about it (given the nature of some of our conversations). If he was, he didn't show it and I took some pretty good natured teasing from him. And who is he to complain, he took Will's friend Pat back to his hotel room. He said they weren't going to do anything considering that Steve is sharing a hotel room with his friend Doug but who knows. I would have gone for it.

Anyway, Steve and I are going to a party tonight and possibly to a rugby game on Saturday. I think we're going to be very good friends and well...I have Will's number, he has mine...I'm sure he and I will be talking...

If you remember a while back, I referenced an article about Laquetta Shepard who stood in the middle of white supremacists during a KKK rally, did nothing, said nothing, and caused them to shut down their rally early. Well, I found a picture of that moment and let me just say that it's nothing short of powerful.

I saw the picture posted above at Paul's blog and it made me shudder to think that we are going to go to war with Iraq again when there is so much other stuff that needs to be addressed internally first -- like our economy. The DJIA has plummeted, people are not finding employment that they would like, the key economic indicators are fluctuating so wildly that just when we think we're starting to come out of the funk that it dips back down again and we are left in a state of ugh.

Now, by no stretch of the imagination am I saying that a war with Iraq would be a bad thing, however, I just question the timing of it all. I fear that this is too much of a Wag the Dog situation. Our economy is not rebounding like everyone said it would and our government is, effectively, not trying hard enough (in my own humble opinion) to do anything about it.

It took me 2 years to find permanent employment. TWO YEARS. I know people who have been out of work for MONTHS (some nearly a year or more) because the job market is piss poor and companies cannot afford to hire people with the readiness and expediency of the past when our economy was booming and people could move to jobs with relative ease. Now companies are looking for people who are more than willing to stay around for a while than a fly-by-night person who has jumped from gig to gig. If our government put more emphasis (or even the same amount) on helping our economy stop hemorrhaging than they would on fighting Saddam Hussein we might see a difference in our lives. I am not defending Saddam Hussein at all, but for me, my friends, my family, etc, the economy and our finances and our jobs are paramount to going to war with Iraq.

It's just me but I would rather we fix ourselves before we try to fix other countries.

Someone buy this for me please...

So I watched The Bachelor last night on ABC, because, as I said before, I am a whore for reality TV (and I had to cover it for the website I write for). This show is going to bring out the claws in all of the women (and I am sure a few men) who are going to say that these women must be desperate to be on a show like this and why would they subject themselves to possible humiliation on a national level.

Well I think Aaron, the eponymous character from the show, hit it on the head. These women are meeting a man that they probably would have never had the chance to meet under normal circumstances. It's an opportunity to meet someone and spend concentrated amounts of time getting to know them. It's like speed dating. Aaron and the women he chooses to continue in the game will get to spend more time with each other in a shorter amount of time than if they were casually dating in the first place.

Do I think some of the women are desperate? Yes. I thought there were a few women who harped on how all of their friends are married and everyone they went to school is now married and that there is no one left just for them. Well, I think that rationale is total crap. There are a lot of people I went to school with who are not married and are more than happy with their situation. Life really and truly like that line from Forest Gump. Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get. So why not just pick up a piece a take a bite out of it?

The one person I really liked that he didn't take was Merrilee. She had such a good head on her shoulders and he wound up giving her the shaft at the end. If he had heard her reference all of the people in her life that were married including her parents that have been married for over thirty years (as have mine) and then heard her say that it doesn't really matter that they are married because she's taking the love and romance thing on her own damn sweet time then maybe he would have had a change of heart with her. Hell, I would have married her after that comment!

Anyway, I support these women and what they are doing because it takes guts to put yourself in this situation where you might wind up being emotionally hurt and embarassed and have it all shown on national TV. This takes guts and for everyone that complains or points a finger at them, just realize the step they had to take just to apply and then go to the interviews and finally go on the show. They took HUGE steps and should be commended for their bravery.