Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known. (Along with my comments in italics...)

Viruses you suffer from:

Sci-fi -- Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
This is a laugh because I hate sci-fi...

Industrial -- Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
Again, another laugher. I am such a jazz/Ella Fitzgerald kinda guy...

Religion -- Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Well I was raised going to church but not that religious anymore...

Politics -- Stop caring!
After 2000 and Florida, I can't help but care...

Viruses you might suffer from:

TotL (85%) -- Go read Brunching
I hate Lord of the Rings. This is a total lie...

Linux (80%) -- Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
What crack is this? What the hell is Linux?

Junkfood (60%) -- Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Somewhat true although I have lost a lot of weight as of late...

8-Bit (90%) -- Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
I wish I knew what this meant...

British (60%) -- No need for cure. Benign virus.
I'm sucker for a British accent...

Brand Names (75%) -- Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Trust me I know this...

Computer Games (90%) -- Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Um okay....I don't really play computer games...I can just recognize them...

Conspiracy Theory (75%) -- Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
This one is somewhat true...

Hippyism (60%) -- Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Funny...never thought of myself as a hippy...

Environmentalism (70%) -- Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
But I like to separate glass from plastic...

Macintosh (60%) -- Use a mouse with more than one button.
I haven't used a Mac in YEARS...

Southampton (84%) -- Move to the Isle of Wight.
Okay if this was Long Island Southampton it might be true...