So....your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated....

I logged onto my computer Saturday morning and was reading through my emails when this IM popped up. I looked at who it was and it turned out to be one half of a couple I know that live down in Chelsea. It's been a while since we talked so it was kinda nice to hear from them. Then I got this message (and please note this is not their handle nor their names):

2GuysinChelsea: So...we're both kinda horny. Wanna come over?

646Guy: Ha ha ha...so early in the day? Didn't have your morning J/O yet?

2GuysinChelsea: Nope not yet. :)

646Guy: So what are you waiting for?

2GuysinChelsea: You to get your hot ass here.

646Guy: Eh...just wake up John. He'll take care of it for you.

2GuysinChelsea: Oh he's up alright.

Pause in the conversation as the realization starts to dawn on me.

2GuysinChelsea: We're serious, you know.

You have to understand something about this moment...maybe three, four months ago I would have jumped at the opportunity to have a threesome with this couple. They are incredibly hot men (at least to me) and we've joked around about getting together but we were never really serious although there was that one evening where the opportunity was more seriously talked about (at least on their end) and I thought it was more joking until we were talking about a week later and I learned they were serious about going back to their place. Of course I tried setting up something with them once before and it just never panned out. Lots of flirting but never got together.

So here's the opportunity for me to have some hot sex with two incredibly hot men...something that's been hinted at for quite some time in various forms and now it's being bluntly presented to me on the proverbial silver platter and I found myself actually pausing to think about it before I answered.

2GuysinChelsea: Well?

Here I am staring at the screen wondering what to say since I have to say something. I can't just leave him sitting there.

646Guy: Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....

What the fuck do I say to this? And why am I pausing to answer? Why am I not jumping at the opportunity? Why am I not already in a cab and heading down to them? I could be one third of a sweaty trio, rolling around experiencing the heights of physical pleasure and I'm hedging on it? What is wrong with me?

646Guy: Ya know...I don't think so.

2GuysinChelsea: That's cool, man. How's it going otherwise?

From there the conversation went to normal "So what's new in your life?" conversation. But in the back of my mind the previous conversation is still playing in the back of my head. I said no? How could I have turned them down? What was I thinking? If I get a second chance to join them I might just change my mind and go down there and have some fun. Yeah that's what I'll do. I'll just head down there and live it up. I deserve it right? I had a long week (if not a long month or two) and it's been quite some time since I've had that kind of fun. Why the hell not? Why not head down to Chelsea and wedge myself in between two guys and get off? Why not head to Chelsea and just throw all of my inhibitions away? So yeah....if they ask again I'll just say yes....or hell, why not even ask if the offer is still on the table? I'm entitled to some fun right?

2GuysinChelsea: Okay Brian, have to run. Last chance to join us?

Pause

646Guy: Thanks man, not today. I have a lot to do.

2GuysinChelsea: I know how that is. Talk to you later.
2GuysinChelsea has logged off.

So I said no. Again.

My God. Am I actually looking for more out of life than just a casual fling? Something more than a one night stand? Something permanent for a change?

I think I'm growing up, people.

How fucking scary is that?