I've been thinking a lot about my love life as of late. I've poked fun about dating multiple men at once and, for the most part, not having sex with them when I'm really trying to pursue something serious rather than something temporary (shocking I know but you can only be a slut for so long).
Yeah, I've been dating/seeing a few guys. Only two really measure up to the point where if they asked me to go exclusive I would readily agree. The others...part of me wonders why I'm really dating them when I know that there is probably very little chance that anything would ever really come out of it except maybe the occasional sexcapade. Last year, I made it my resolution that I would work towards making my love life much better and take a few chances on dating some guys. I didn't expect that I would close out the year with more than enough men to make my life seem like the latest episode of The Young and The Restless.
Maybe I should have been a bit more specific when I decided to take a few more chances and risks in my love life. Maybe I should have said something to the extent of "being in a relationship with someone" rather than just "dating someone." I think of my friend Michael who got out of a long term relationship late last year and is already living with his current paramour that he met towards the end of last year. He's never really had a problem find a date or dating someone (which has always secretly pissed me off to a certain extent) but he always seems to be the lucky one in love between the two of us.
So what do I want....God if I could only answer that question. I guess I want the simplest thing of all...to find love. How does that song line go..."The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
That would be nice and I would make it my resolution for 2004 but....well....why put unnecessary pressure on myself ya know...if it happens, it happens....but God I want it to happen.....