November's Moron of the Month

Hmmm...so if it wasn't to be sold on video it still would have been okay?

Okay one of the really cute French interns is standing near my desk and he's talking French to someone....I'm in heaven...

Brian's Thanksgiving Low-Down

1) Woke up at about 10:00 after a night of partying to celebrate the birthday of one of my rugby team members. Had a nice laugh in remembering some of the more interesting antics of the evening.

2) Went to the gym around noon and hit the weight room (Wednesday was cardio so Thursday was weights and Friday will be cardio). Surprisingly packed for a Thursday but most annoying were these two kids whose guardians pretty much ignored them while they sat on the inflatable balls and violently tossed the smaller ball back and forth to each other trying to knock them off of the ball. Even worse, in the locker room, the guardians were in the sauna while the other two were left to "play" in the room with the sink and the controls for the steam room. While I was getting undressed to hit the shower, they decided to peek around the corner and I gave them my patented look of death and they opted to go sit out in the lobby area of the gym.

3) Got home about 2:00 and spoke with one of my fellow ruggers who asked about the New Crush. Mind then wandered over to what the New Crush was doing for Thanksgiving.

4) ...

5) Opted to join the ruggers for a late Thanksgiving Day get together. We watched way too many episodes of Changing Rooms on BBC America and I was glad to know that I wasn't the only man who thought that Handy Andy Kane was a hottie. This was then followed up with a round of some odd game that Paul brought over where someone gave you an adjective and you had to look at the cards in your hand and pick the noun that best fits that adjective. Then the person that gave out the adjective had to pick what went best with it in their opinion. Well Paul, who brought the game, won and we decided to keep playing until we got a second winner which happened to be me. James Bond was my choice for the word "flirtatious." I also won with Colorful -- A Used Car Lot, Dangerous -- Canadians, and something else that escapes me at this point. As for the Canadians one, well...let me just say that I needed to get rid of either that card or the one marked "wheat" because I had held them in my hand for so long I just wanted to be rid of them. Now, only my close friends will understand why I picked Stephen King for the adjective normal. Poor Mark. I thought ht was about to blow a gasket when I picked that one.

6) A round of truth or dare ensued. Dares included licking someone's ear for a minute, mooning the neighbors, sitting your underwear for three questions, licking mash potatoes off of someone's chest, and maintaining a kiss from one ankle to another (for that you have to imagine a man standing up and someone kissing the arc of the legs...) Far too many truths revealed...

7) Home very late in the morning...decided to head to the gym after work rather than first thing in the morning so I could get some extra sleep.

Oy vey, I am still tired...

Something you will never hear on Jeopardy!:

I'll take Things that make you say "HOLY SHIT!" for $1000, Alex...

Quote of the Day

It's different with a man. You don't expect him to be a virgin.
-- Neely O'Hara in Jacqueline Susann's Valley of the Dolls

All I gotta say about this is that it's about damn time!

not going home for Thanksgiving. Really and truly not wanting to do much of anything in the next few days other than vegetate. Brian needs his sleep. Going to buy a bottle of wine tonight...will think of something interesting to go with it...

Quote of the Day

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't deal with drugs." -- Lily Tomlin

Oh fuck.

This may be a confusing post so let’s get some codewords in there before we begin so you will be able to follow this very sordid, twisted tale…

Old Crush – This would be the guy in the chorus that I had a crush on for most of the last year or so but pretty much did nothing about it (as is my normal modus operandi) and he subsequently got into a relationship, then out of that relationship, then into another one.

New Crush – This is the new guy in the chorus that I find absolutely adorable and would probably like to get to know more about if not molest through the careful practice of massaging. In this case, however, we don’t know if New Crush has a boyfriend or is in a relationship. Chorus roster tells nothing.

Union Girl -- Super spy chorus member. Known for her ability to get information out of almost anyone without anyone knowing it. Also known for not updating her blog in MONTHS.

Truvy -- Another chorus member who will be rooming with his chorus crush at retreat (at least he told me months ago it was his crush so who knows anymore). Okay, so I pronounced his crush’s last name wrong…and had been doing so for quite some time. He should have corrected me but that’s another story…

Anyway, let’s get into the story…

I got word that Old Crush was not going to be at rehearsal last night and heard from very reliable sources that Old Crush has, for the most part, gone ga-ga over the new guy in his life and has pretty much set up camp at new guy’s place spending many a night there. Here’s the interesting part…it really didn’t phase me. I thought that I would be a little hurt, shocked, betrayed, what have you, but for the most part, all I care about is people’s happiness (what…does that shock you?) so if he’s happy, then he’s happy and that’s all I care about. It’s odd though. Since the last concert of the 2001-2002 season, I’m happier to have him as a friend than have him as a boyfriend (if that makes any sense).

Then there is the New Crush who arrived late to rehearsal and stopped to give me a nice warm, wet peck on the lips. Now, since this was the first time that he’s done anything like this (as he initiated it) it was one of those head rush moments were the world was spinning but not as fast as my head. Now, I had already given Union Girl her mission for the evening to determine his bachelorhood (as the chorus roster lists him as single) but sadly, Union Girl failed me. Of course, the fact that the mission got off to an ill-timed start and the fact that if she had succeeded then my cover would have been blown to bits…well…I guess I should say that I am grateful that she failed. But let me just pout for a moment because I didn’t get a kiss from him before he departed for the evening at break. Sigh…oh well…then again, there is retreat...*evil smile*...I'll be nice...maybe...he did have nice, wet, very kissable lips...is it getting hot in here?

I dunno why I mentioned Truvy in any of this...I guess I was just working that crush angle just a bit too hard...

Someone asked me to describe rugby, the positions, and so forth as I am a prop forward which means I am one of two men on the front row of the scrum. Well this was sent to me once before and I believe it's quite apt...

A PROPS' GUIDE TO RUGBY POSITIONS

Front Row

Without a doubt the manliest men on the pitch. Large, often hairy, beer swilling carnivores that can and will smash anything in their path. Reveling in the violence inherent in the scrum, they are rarely considered "nice" people, and in fact to some they aren't even considered humans at all. Front rowers tolerate this attitude far and wide because they recognize their role at the top of the food chain and are used to suffering with the fools that surround them. Accused by some of simply being dumb, I prefer to think of this group as "open to unconventional ways of thinking."

Locks

Slightly below the front row on the food chain. As with front row players it is inadvisable to put an appendage you wish to keep near this group's maw when they are in the feeding mode. This group of large, often foul-smelling brutes is also more than willing to relish the finer points of stomping on a fallen opponent's body and will gleefully recount the tale ad infinitum. While they tend to take the tag "Powerhouse of the Scrum" a little too seriously, they can be useful if inured with the proper hatred of their fellow man. While members of this proud fraternity like to think of themselves as "open to unconventional ways of thinking"- they are usually just dumb.

Back Row

These are fine, fit fellows who, like a bunch of hermaphrodites, are confused as to what their role in life should be. While they know they are undeniably linked to the forwards, there are those among them who long for the perfect hair and long flowing gowns that come with being a Back. Some relish the forward role and will do anything to win the ball and there are others within this group that will break the prime directive of the forward and do anything to prance foolishly with the ball. Generally, these guys are not all bad, but I, personally, have to wonder about any forward who brings a hairbrush and a change of clothes to a game.

Scrum Half

Some like to think of this back as an honorary forward. I myself tend to think of the No. 9 as half a fairy. While the toughest back almost always fills this position, this idea is almost laughable - kind of like the hottest drag queen. The scrum half's presence is tolerated by the forwards because they know that he will spin the ball to the rest of the girls in the back line who will inevitably knock the ball on and allow them the pleasure of another scrum. The No. 9 can take pride in the fact that he is the lowest numbered back and that as such he can be considered almost worthwhile.

Fly Half

His primary role is the leader of the backs - a dubious honor at best. Main responsibilities as far as I can tell are ability to throw the ball over people's heads and to provide something soft for opposing back rowers to land on. Expected to direct the prancing of the rest of the back line - the fly half, like any good Broadway choreographer, is usually light on his feet. While some may argue that these girls must be protected, I find it hard to support anyone whose foot touches a rugby ball on purpose.

Centers

Usually come in two varieties: hard chargers or flitting fairies. The hard charger is the one to acquire, as he will announce his presence in a game with the authority rarely found above No. 8. The flitting fairy is regrettably more common and will usually attempt to avoid contact at all costs. The flitting fairy is also only one good smack away from bursting into tears and leaving the pitch to cry on the shoulder of his inevitable boyfriend. Both types will have extensive collections of hair care products in their kit bags and will be among the best dressed at the post-game festivities.

Back 3

While some people refer to this group as two wingers and a fullback, I swear to God I can't make out any difference between them. They are all bleeping bleeps if you ask me. How these three guys can play 90 minutes of RUGBY and stay clean and sweat free is beyond me. I know for a fact that their jerseys sometimes go back in the bag cleaner than when they came out. These ladies are fond of sayings like "Speed Kills" and "Wheels Win" - how cute. Well, I have a saying too: it's "You're a bleeping bleep!" These guys will be easy to spot after the game because they are the finely coifed, sweater wearin', wine sippin', sweet-talkers in the corner avoiding the beer-swilling curs at the bar. On the whole, I really don't mind this group because in the end, they sure are purty to look at.

Quote of the Day

"The censors say they're protecting the family unit in America, when the reality is, if you suck a tit, you're an X, but if you cut it off with a sword, you're a PG." -- Jack Nicholson

Oy vey....another one from the "They Found My Blog Through THAT?" files

Erotic tales of fucking families

I may vomit...

Now there are those of you who know how much I adore "Handy" Andy Kane from Changing Rooms on BBC America and how much I hate the designs done up by Hildi Santo-"yes I'm wearing heels when I climb this ladder"-Tomas...well this is perfect validation of both statements...

I don't know how I feel about the results of this quiz....

Anne Boleyn was Henry's second wife. Henry tore the world apart to marry Anne, but few could figure out why: she wasn't beautiful, she wasn't rich, and she hardly had a drop of noble blood. She was also black-haired and thin in an age when plump blondes without eyebrows were the height of beauty.

Anne Boleyn was a woman who turned the world upside down. She was outspoken, intelligent and neurotic. She ended up on the block when Henry tired of her, but for six years, Anne Boleyn brought England to it's knees.





Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?

this quiz was made by the scare-umptious ghouls at Spookbot

Oy vey...okay I need some impartial decisions here so let me get some thoughts from everyone...feel free to chime in whether I know you or not...

I took a job at this international bank in August of this year. I'm making the most I have ever made in my life (if you put that on a base salary level and not include overtime) and so far it's all okay if not supremely boring. Mind you, in order to take this job, I turned down a spot as the company manager on a national tour of a show. The pay here is most likely greater than that of the national tour and the perks better.

Now, I learned this weekend that there is most likey an opening coming up in the accounting department of this touring company and that my name was brought up once again. I did the right thing in shooting off an email to the guy that I spoke with before about the potential opening (referencing the friend who told me about it) and asking for the details of the job to see if it is a match.

Now here's where the interesting part comes in...do I keep the job I have which will most likely pay me more money but might not keep me as personally fulfilled or do I go for the job with the theatre tour people that will pay me less but may be more fulfilling? If I go through the entire process of an interview and so forth and turn it down, then I will, effectively, be ending any chance of employment there. I guess my first question would be the salary range for the position as well as retirement, 401(k) and so forth...

So...questions...comments...snide remarks?

Monday Random Stream of Consciousness

This morning I spent another hour on the elliptical runner at the gym. Thought that hour would never pass by fast neough but I made it.

However, I think this morning will be best spent wishing the Bush twins a happy 21st birthday. This of course now means that they will lose the thrill of underage drinking, getting arrested for it, and embarassing their father more than he embarrases himself.

And this may interest those of you who were so into the most recent season of The Bachelor and watched Aaron Buerge propose to Helene Este(something really long and I don't remember all of it). Aaron was once previously engaged before and, in fact, if you click here you will get to look at his previous wedding announcement when he was engaged to a woman named Valerie (if this is to be believed of course) who was 21 years old...one year younger than runner-up Brooke Smith who was 22. Of course Aaron is older now but this does give us pause to go hmmm.

Today's soup choices at the company cafeteria are "roasted vegetable" and "split pea with ham." Vegetable it is, I believe...

The debate between church and state has broken out once again in Alabama (why is it always the Southern states...don't they have something else to do like sleep with their cousins or go on Jerry Springer?). The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Alabama erected a four ton statue dedicated to the honor of the Ten Commandments. In the first court battle, the CJ was ordered to remove the statue as it was seen as a promotion of one religion over others. CJ Moore responded with, "Hell, no, it's ain't comin' down..." (my words not his). This should be interesting.

My Oz Prison Bitch Name would be Turd Knocker if I used the name I most commonly go by. As some people know, Brian is my middle name, therefore using my REAL first name and my last name I become Skank Cunt. I think I have too much time on my hands.

And if I was ever in a band and needed a name, then it would have to be...Head Transfer Process. Pretty cool for a jazz ensemble, no?

Quote of the Day

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
~ Agatha Christie

Finally, the proof of the 63.600 point word...

A Night Out With the Boys -- The True New York Moment

Last night I went out with some of the guys from the rugby team for some carousing in (of all places) Brooklyn. Actually, it all started at the apartment of one of the ruggers where we drank beer (I had 2 -- a Guinness, my normal beer of choice, and a Spaten which is a German beer which wasn't that great) and, between the seven of us there, an entire bottle of tequila. Granted it was more or less just five of us drinking the tequila but it was fine nonetheless. Combine that with a cutthroat game of Simpson's Clue (someone should have been eliminated after their answer was proven wrong but we won't go there) and Trivial Pursuit and the evening was just getting started. My partner and I (partner being team partner) in Trivial Pursuit made an astonishing comeback to tie up with the Twinkie Twins who at the beginning were getting such easy questions. Kudos to my teammate who was nailing the entertainment questions left and right while I was (oddly enough) nailing the sports questions with regularity. In fact, when we landed in the center of the board, a strong discussion ensued as to whether or not to give us a sports question -- which they ultimately did but I blew it anyway. Let me just say that the questions went from the supremely easy to asking us between which two countries a subatomic particle smasher splitter thing was located.

The evening was, ostensibly, a time for us to get together and socialize and have some fun outside of the rugby pitch (now that our practice season is over) and since none of were really in a mood to go bar hopping, it just seemed like a nice time to get together with each other, get drunk (if possible) and have some fun. Well, I had plenty of beer and tequila in me at this point, so I really didn't care although one guy was pretty much assigned to make sure I didn't wander off...I was angle walking down the sidewalk and well, I needed special attention.

But of course we wound up going to to a bar anyway...Granted we didn't leave the apartment until about 1:30 in the morning to head to this neighborhood gay bar (and by neighborhood bar I mean one that doesn't play loud techno music and expect you to dance to it but rather it has a nice decor, little tables where you can sit and talk to people, etc etc). The bar (Excelsior, if you must know) had a nice mix of clientele with people in different age ranges, men from different sub-groups of the gay community (bears, twinks, guys with that "guy next door look", etc...lots of beer was consumed although I didn't have any because let's just say that I didn't need anymore alcohol in me at that point. It was a time for more camaraderie and fun but oh what fun we were about to have.

Now somewhere in the middle of all of this, our host for the evening learned that there was a sex party going on down the street. Now, you all know how demure I am and that sex parties...well, they really aren't my thing at all but hey I am up for just about anything at this point so why not venture down there. Now, the term "just down the street" seemed more like A Long Day's Journey Into the Night (or whatever the title is) as we kept walking and walking and walking. At one point, I was in the "middle pack" with my assigned rugger to keep me from doing something (what I don't know but he was there with one firm hand guiding me along). So ultimately we arrive at the location and we get buzzed in and to tell you the truth, I wasn't too enthused about it and was looking for my evening guide for protection (don't ask me why -- I was drunk) but then we got word that the party was not all gay men -- there was the possibility of lesbians, she-males, and transvestites (although isn't a shemale the same as a transvestite).

Anyway, we had to strip down to our underwear (although there were people wearing MUCH less as in one guy who was naked except for his boots and the raging hard-on he was sporting) and keep your shoes on (because you never know what you will be stepping in). For me this meant I had to go down to my teal GAP boxers and my Doc Martens. Oh yes...it was a pretty sight for me. Anyway, I was taken back to this really dark, creepy room where I watched this writhing mass of flesh pretty much go at it. Some of the scarier moments was this guy who had to be in his 50s who was wearing bikini briefs (or something like that) who had his cock out and was stroking it while watching what was going on, one guy who was late 20s/early 30s who had a t-shirt on and...get this...a FANNY PACK(?)...Now I'm starting to sober up and realizing where the heck I am and it's starting to creep me out just a bit so while I watch my ruggers start to make out with each other I made my exit out the side to the somewhat communal section where there was a sling with a really manly (not to mention ugly) looking trannie curled up inside it.

Anyway the host (not the sex party host, but our rugger host) and I were curled up on this little bench (not really curled up as much as we were just keeping each other company because at that hour of the evening, we were hitting the bottom of the barrel) and he turns to me and says, "We need to hook up with a trannie." Now to be honest I wasn't sure if he was being serious or joking so I shot back with, "Why we?" There was only one trannie there that was even remotely attractive but still..it's a trannie! Nothing against them but just not my thing...We decided to mingle around and we looked through some peepholes at these three guys, all naked and sexed up and pretty much going at it. The funny part was that one of them was covering his crotch with his hands...

Atr this point we decided to leave and head back to Excelsior where we were there just in time for last call and had a round of kamikazes which I downed in one gulp. I thought there would be more alcohol and toxic but I have to say that it was rather sweet. After more bar carousing we headed out to a 24 hour diner down the street and at this point we bid adieu to the Twinkie Twins who were heading back to the city. The diner was this really cool place that was packed (even at 4:30 in the morning at this point). Our lovely waitress, Toni, was a hoot and a half while her boss who was manning the cash register was a complete moron. He was being bitchy and mean and we called him a repressed queen primarily because of the shirt/blouse/smock he was wearing (which did not look good on him). Anyway, it was breakfasts all around for our group (with the "Breakfast Sampler" being renamed the "Lumberjack Bonanza") and it was a time for us to talk and commisserate even more and, as someone said, a time to bond with your fellow teammates and make yourselves a more cohesive unit.

At about 5:30 we left the diner and I decided that I neededd to head home because it was starting to get light and I was starting to fall asleep. I could have stayed over at the host's house but I was in one of those "let me sleep in my own bed" moods. It's hard to explain but I never really sleep well when I am not in my own bed unless I am piss-ass tired and just collapse (as was the case with some of the nights on the Bear Stearns project). But there I was on the subway going home (switched to a cab at 42nd street and was home in about an hour total) and I realized that there was something so uniquely New York about the entire evening. From the little Asian kid on the subway going down to Brooklyn singing "God Bless America" to having sushi and pizza delievered while watching a rugby recap on Fox Sports World to playing games to the bar and sex party to early morning breakfasts...I dunno it's hard to explain. I know that in Jacksonville you couldn't have seven gay men experience all of that within the space of a few blocks and somehow be able to revel within the shared communal experience...

Call me crazy but this would never have happened in Jacksonville, Florida...

Of the two teams we played rugby against this weekend, this guy from the Washington Renegades was my secret crush...hoo boy...

Some nice test results from Emode...

The Colors of Love Test

Brian, when you reveal your true colors in love, you're a Witty Partner!

You're looking for a partner who both appreciates your witty sense of humor and believes in the power of love. In fact, dazzling that special someone with your snappy repartee is likely a favorite pastime of yours. Your clever, observant nature can make you a real ace when it comes to picking up on life's humorous details. However, in the quest for love, it's important for witty partners like you to know your audience and know when to quit. Not everyone will possess the same opinions and sense of humor as you.

The Inkblot Test

Brian, your unconscious mind is driven most by Curiosity

This means you are full of questions about life, people, and the potential of your future. You spend more time than others envisioning the possibilities of your life — things that others are too afraid to consider.

Your curiosity burns with an almost physical need to know and do more. It's only through new experiences that you feel a greater understanding of yourself or the world — which ultimately is the greatest way for you to feel satisfied.

It is possible that the underlying reason for your drive towards curiosity is a deeply rooted fear of boredom. That means that you are probably more susceptible than others to feel like you're falling into a rut when life slows down into a comfortable routine.

You need to make sure you have stimulation in your life — that makes you feel like you're innovating or being exposed to the ideas and experiences that truly inspire you.

With such a strong orientation towards curiosity, you're also prone to a rebellious quality that shows up when you feel you are just going through the motions, and are unable to really influence the world around you. But interestingly enough, your drive towards novel experiences also indicates an openness others don't have, but wish they did.

Unconsciously, your curiosity presses you to learn more, experience more, and get the most out of life.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Curiosity, there is much more to who you are at your core.

The Just Between Friends Test

Cultural Companion

That's who you should share your holiday cheer with! You know who we're talking about — the person who's always curious about other people, places, music, art, food, animals, vegetables, minerals — whew, they're just curious! This fabulous friend gives you a cultural rush like no other. In fact, it's probably your joint interest in experiencing all that life has to offer that brought you together in the first place. And who can blame you with all the fine dining, art openings, folk festivals, concerts, grape stomps, and fundraisers to sample?

The two of you know there's more to life than, well, the two of you. And it's your joint ability to see and appreciate people's differences, as well as their similarities, that helps make you one with this friend — especially during this time of year.

Sexual Personality Test

Brian, your sexual personality is Phi-ELDN-10.

Your sexual personality is determined by your sexual persona (Phi), 4 sexual scales (Emotional/Physical, Look/Touch, Daring/Modest, Verbal/Non-verbal), and your libido score (10).

As a Phi, you have a good sense of yourself and your sexuality. You know how to turn on the sex appeal when it suits your needs, and have a fair amount of confidence when it comes to your sexual performance.

I have to wonder what the 10 means...

The Ideal Sexual Partner Test

Brian, your ideal sexual partner is a Type 5.

A Type 5 match wants to experiment with different approaches and foreplay to help you both reach a physical high. The sensations of sex are what this person most enjoys and focuses on — much more so than the emotional bond you can forge during your most intimate moments.

But this person also shares a more personal side to them. They tend to keep their eagerness to find pleasure in sex behind closed doors and they don't flaunt their sexuality in public as much as you might think.

Like you, sex is simply fun and expressive for this person. It doesn't carry a lot of emotional weight. While a deeper connection could or could not happen for either of you, it's simply not a focus when you're in the mood.

Um....I'm not so sure about the results of this one...

Quote of the Day

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

--Robert A. Heinlein

Additionally, I joined the gym near work so I could get into better shape and be ready to kick some but when rugby practice resumes. In order to be a better player, I'm going to need more match stamina which means more cardio training. I have no plans whatsoever to become a big muscle bound Chelsea queen. Anyway, I got on the scale after I got out of the shower and if it is correct, then I have lost 25 since, I would guesstimate, end of August beginning of September.

All of this going on while women try to wear a pretty gown...I guess those speeches for world peace and putting down guns and giving each other hugs isn't going to go over well..

The question has been raised if the women on The Bachelor are losers. I say no.

I think the women he narrowed the field down to are not losers at all. Helene is a highly competent, beautiful, intelligent woman. Brooke is the same way. I know some of you may be saying, "Brooke? Intelligent?" Well since she is looking into law schools I would say that she has to have a good head on her shoulders in order to do that. The part that seems to be bugging everyone is the emotional distress some of these women seem to be in after they are eliminated.

These people all have feelings which come into play on these shows -- moreso with The Bachelor than with others. The women run the risk of getting too emotionally involved or committed to the man in question and then when they are eliminated they are crushed, hurt, etc. The ending of this show is the worst because you know that one of these people has the thought that they are the one running through their mind. Brooke genuinely thought she was getting the rose. But she didn't and sadly Aaron didn't really give her a good explanation then and didn't give a good one in his confessional interview which left her with many unanswered questions from the end of her participation in the show to even today. I hope she gets the answers she is looking for. If anything, I hope Aaron sits down with her and has a nice long talk. I think in the end they will all be friends, but I think the onus is on Aaron to explain his actions, why he chose as he did, and take her feelings into consideration when he explains what happened but simultanously be honest with her about it.

Also interesting to note...chorus guy who I had a crush on, got a boyfriend, and then dropped the boyfriend is already kinda sorta seeing someone...and they are spending Thanksgiving together....oy vey....

Well I called it...I said it would be Helene and it was...watched a bit of them on Good Morning America. Aaron and Helene look good together. Brooke still looks a little bitter that she wasn't chosen but she said that she was not even allowed to date after the show because it would ruin the ending...

Quote of the day

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
--Woody Allen

To all of those people that I have called in a drunken stupor at God knows what time of the morning I offer you this...

"It's the friends you can call at 4 in the morning that matter." -- Marlene Dietrich

To all of you.....thanks....

Is it just me or is this year just flying by? It seems like only yesterday that I was in the downstairs living room of a Brooklyn apartment wedged in between pot smoking, leather clad men, Radio City Rockettes, and a stereo system while drinking champagne straight from the bottle because we ran out of cups and counting down the new year about six or seven more times AFTER the new year had officially been rung in.

We're talking flying here...it's November already! Geez...

So tonight is the finale of The Bachelor and it all makes me sit here and wonder what the heck will happen. I mean there is the meeting of his parents and then the ring and then the final decision and let's just face it...Aaron is not the best at making these decisions...if I had to make a choice I would pick Helene and not because of all of those cheesy news stories saying that they have been seen together since the show ended and blah blah blah...

I pick Helene because she's closer to Aaron's age and there is a lot of maturing that goes on in those six years between 28 and 22 (which I believe are the respective ages of Aaron and Brooke). I think Brooke wouldn't mind getting married but I think being away from her family and living in Missouri is not something that she is going to enjoy.

Logical call -- Helene
Aaron's call -- Playgirl to do a centerfold? Maybe Gwen for another date?

As some of you may remember from earlier posts, there was a guy in the chorus that I had a HUGE crush on and was going to ask him out, etc etc etc. Then I found out that he was dating a guy (whom I later met) and I pretty much resolved myself to the fact that once again I had let an opportunity slip through my fingers all because I couldn't get my act together to ask him out on a date.

Last night's revelation -- he's single again. Oy vey.

Does anyone else besides me think that Michael Jackson has just totally lost it?

I just got the pictures from this weekend's rugby festivities back from the drugstore.

What I would give to have been a fly on the wall when those pictures started coming out of the machine and the look on that processor's face...sigh...

I am surprised that more states do not allow DNA testing on past cases when it could prove the guilt or innocence of a jailed individual. Considering that over 100 people have been freed from jail based upon the fact that a DNA test proved that they did not commit the rape, murder, whatever. It's shocking and sad.

This all comes out from me now after this most recent incident in Maryland. Twenty years this man as in jail for a crime he did not commit and he can't even get compenstated for that time. Major kudos to the two state senators who are pushing through a bill to make sure this man gets paid for the time he was wrongfully imprisoned. He spent twenty years in jail -- half of his life. When he got out he had no family to turn to, no home, and no job and he couldn't sue the state for any compensation due to his (as they would say on Designing Women) "unfortunate incarceration." He now has to rebuild his life from ground zero and how do they expect him to explain why he is just now looking for work on a job interview. But, at the very least he has gotten some job interviews.

See, this is the weird part of our legal system...some states allow DNA testing after the case is over and many don't. I shudder to think how many innocent people had to serve their FULL terms (or worse die in jail), have their lives completely ruined, and have no one believe their innocence. I'm surprised the Supreme Court has yet to weigh in on this. If you're job is to make sure that ever person that goes to jail is guilty then there should be some recourse when there is new technology that may help prove whether or not they are guilty.

Enough said. Off my soapbox.

I am making myself sick with this Bookworm game. My new favorite color is LAVENDER.

"Why lavender, Brian?" you may be asking yourself.

It was worth 63,360 points that's why. Photo coming tonight...

Is Princess Diana the new Elvis in terms of "memorabilia"?

57,600 -- The Proof

Another Only in NYC Moment...

Imagine if you will twinkie boys in swimsuits playing volleyball with an inflatable beachball. Their opponents -- priests.

You think I am joking. This actually happened at the expo yesterday. It was pretty damn funny...

I'm back from the ER where I had my ribs checked out. According to the delightful Dr. Lorraine Giordano, it does not appear that there are any fractures on my ribs from looking at the x-rays but she is going to have a radiologist check them just to be sure. However, she did say that just because it doesn't show on the x-ray doesn't mean that it's not broken.

So I'm sitting here with prescriptions for Tylenol with codeine and a prescription for 600mg of Motrin (in the event that the T with C is too much for me to handle -- i.e., makes me groggy, upset stomach, makes me strip off my clothes and run naked through the streets of Washington Heights...you know the basic things....)

Can I just say that the cutest thing in the world happened last night...

After working at the Gay Life Expo, I joined some members of the rugby team for dinner at this French styled diner called Florent in the meat packing district. I took my seat at one end of the table not really noticing who I was sitting next to -- a guy from the Boston Ironsides, one of the teams we played this weekend.

About five minutes into sitting at the table he leaned over and shyly (and quite politely) asked if I would mind trading places with his weekend paramour. I, having no objections to this, then proceeded to call out his name and made the international symbol of "let's trade places." He in turn said, "Are you sure?" and I reponded with, "Um...yeah..."

It was so cute it cracked me up.

So my first rugby match was yesterday. I cannot wait to get into the gym to get more stamina so I can be a better player. I will even admit to breaking a few rules because I knew that the ref couldn't see me. We were in a ruck situation which means you cannot use your hands to release the ball but there we were and I, of all people, had the ball in my hands and I did not panic (that part is the most shocking to me) and I knew we were in a ruck situation but I knew that I couldn't use my hands but I had my hand near the ball and starting pushing it towards my teammates even though I had one person yelling at me that I couldn't use my hands. Part of me wants to yell out to him to shut the hell up beacuse I knew that the ref couldn't see me so I figured I would at least make a chance at getting the ball out to our guys. I did got in one good tackle (which was my main goal for the game besides playing hard and strong for the side B game) where I just dragged one guy down to the ground and it felt fabulous.

My big problem was that I did not have enough scrum experience in order to be an effective prop (that's my position) and it's something that does come with experience. When the scrum was to engage I kept lifting my rear end instead of pushing up with my legs. Also the props for the Boston side were incredible. They were strong and powerful and were pushing and driving and I think we were lacking that because it was my first game and I didn't know many of the skills needed to be an effective prop forward.

Anyway, the worst part of the game came when, yes, I got injured. It was during a scrum and I lost my footing on the muddy ground and went sliding in the ground. The scrum collapsed on top of me, I got twisted around and felt that "wonderful" (please note the sarcasm) pop in my chest. I tried to get back up but the pain was pretty damn intense and I couldn't catch my breath because I couldn't take deep breaths. Now, I still have to get it formally checked out by my doctor or hospital. Yes, it's something I plan on doing today...According to the delightful Shelley, our on site medic, I either tore the muscle in between my ribs, broke a rib (or two), or just bruised my ribs. All I gotta say is I need some major pain killers. Remember now, I sleep in a loft bed...Getting out of bed this morning was hell. Just trying to sit up was hell...

I was so pissed that I couldn't return to the game because I trained long and hard for the game and to get to play just the first half of the first half (if that makes any sense) was pretty disappointing for me. I know that there is pretty much nothing I could have done about it or prevented it. Even though I heard from a lot of people that I put forth a good effort, I guess for me it wasn't good enough and I wanted to do more. But hey...I got in my one good tackle and I put in a few good hits and I didn't panic when I got the ball so I really can't complain...okay I can but I won't. I'll just be happy with what I accomplished and go from there. I cannot wait for my next game...

And on a small side note...I left the disc with the picture of my 57.600 point word, but I passed it along to my competition so she could feel the pain! As soon as I can get it done I'll be a happy man...

The Bookworm mark has been smashed yet again!

After suffering through all of my NEUROSIS and telling people they can kiss my DERRIERE...I think we all need to sign a few peace TREATIES and crown me the undisputed king of Bookworm. When I get home, I will post the 57,600 word...

Yes, that's right...57,600...

Newest way someone has found the blog:

Photos of Pete Sampras and Anna Kournikova having sex together.

Sheesh!

Oh no, Principal Rooney!

I guess this is the karmic backlash when you eat a gummi worm that's been in a girl's pocket all day.

Paul started working on his book and I would love an update on it. I've been told that I should have started this project as well but considering that half of my month was consumed with other things (like rugby) my life won't be settled until after this weekend and then I can start on my own. Let's just say that I'm having some fun with the idea that I've put together.

Oh and to one rugger out there in response to a comment made last night -- 1) Brian does not know how to swim. 2) Brian may bring swim trunks anyway. 3) Brian can SOOOOOOO blackmail you.

Then again, you could so blackmail me.

But just two words for you -- blowjob lips. That's all I have to say.

The rest of you just have to wonder.

Hmm you would think that when our country/military/anti-terrorism Republican freaks are in need they would go ahead and do something like this...just boggles the mind...

Hmmm...interesting.

You ask your roommates where your mail is (namely the telephone bill) and you get a message back that they will check the mail "again" to make sure you have no mail still sitting in the mailbox in the foyer because they always put the mail in the little basket we have in the apartment. You come home from rugby practice and ALL of your mail going back who knows how much is sitting on the floor in front of your bedroom door including aforementioned telephone bill.

Hmmmm. Interesting.

This song has been running through my head all day. I hope that by posting it here it is formally exorcised from my brain...

Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it
Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all
How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do some giving
Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

Thanks to Ken, this image will haunt me for the rest of my life...

Well, according to Weather.com there is now an 80% chance of a light rain for my rugby match on Saturday. Great. That should be fun.

In other news, Verizon is an agent of Satan. The amount of my current phone bill -- $546. The amount of the last bill I received $56. I don't use the phone THAT much. So I called them up to arrange for payments (because I don't have $546 laying around to do it all at once) and I asked the woman that I needed to confirm my address since I didn't receive my last bill (nor did I think about not receiving my last bill until today) and she said I had to speak to someone else about it and that she would transfer me. I asked her if she had my address in front of her and she said yes and I asked why she couldn't just tell me what it said and then transfer me if changes needed to be made. Nope...had to transfer me anyway. So I get there and it's all okay and perfect so I ask about going to pay the bill. That means I have to talk to someone else. I get to a person and before I pay my bill, I ask if I can get reprints of my last bill so I can see the charges (specifically long distance) before I made a full payment. She says that's yet another person. To top it all off, she doesn't take payments herself, she has to transfer me to their automatic payment system so I can do it there and THEN she transfers me over to a complete moron who tries to sell me on a new plan and I finally said, "LOOK! ALL I WANT ARE REPRINTS OF MY BILLS. THAT'S ALL. NOTHING ELSE!"

If their goal is to provide me with quality service, then they FAILED!

Taken from The Daily Dose who got it from Dr. Weevil...the fact that I scored an eight scares me...

you have an ominosity quotient of eight. you are more ominous than the creators of this quiz. good god. href="http://www.likeisaid.com/ominosityquiz.html"> find out your ominosity quotient.

Okay all medical personnel out there I need some quick advice...

Recently, I started to experience a soreness in one of the muscles around my knee. Sometimes it's a simple pain (nothing crippling) and sometimes it's a burning sensation. I'm not exactly sure which muscle it is but it's on the back of my left knee right next to that tendon/ligament that holds the kneecap in place.

Any ideas, thoughts or suggestions? I don't think it's a rip or a tear. I really would just like to hear that it's sore from being worked...

I found this over at Ken's blog...as I told my coworkers when I saw this...

1) someone has a lot of time on their hands

2) wow that's a lot of pennies

Sent to me in an email today....

Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed Three Little Words based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation that would stop the nuisance for all time. The three little words are...........

"Hold On, Please." Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately would make each telemarketing call so time-consuming that boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company's beep-beep-beep tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. This might be one of those articles you'll want to e-mail to your friends. Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting.
Other Good ideas........


When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, include them with the payment ... let the companies throw them away.

When you get those pre approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right? Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes.



Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send the pizza coupon to Citibank.

If you didn't get anything else that day then just send them their application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can send it back empty if you want to
just to keep them guessing!

Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting their junk back in the mail. Let's let them know what it's like to get junk mail, and the best of it is that they're paying for it. Twice.

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they say e-mail is cutting into their business, and that's why they need to increase postage again.

I'm working on getting a better pic of this but you can make out that my DERRIERE was worth a whopping 54,720 (or is it 51,720....) either way...it's over 50K...upwards and onward...



Also on a side note...the first real male-male couple on TV (as lead characters anyway) could be coming to TV courtesy of Steve Martin....

So it's back to work after a three day weekend and I really don't want to be here. Can I just go home and sleep...

It's a big rugby week too with practices tonight and Thursday, the party on Friday, and the matches on Saturday. Of course I know all of you want to come out and cheer me on so drop me a line and I'll give you directions on how to get there...

I started to take a look at my money for the rest of the month considering that for the rugby weekend there will be the cost for the bus to the party, the weekend t-shirts, my uniform attire (which I will be buying online and shipping overnight so I can have something to wear -- Byrne, I may be asking if I can ship it to your office given my last fiasco with UPS), then there is the post-match party, the bar hopping...it goes on and on and on...then there's the chorus benefit this weekend as well (which I've already shelled out $100) and then the chorus' weekend retreat (another $185)...financially, I should be fine, but I'll be taking a HUGE hit right when I get my check and I still have Christmas shopping to do for my family and we've all agreed to the one gift per person rule this year after years and years and years of over shopping and overspending. Since I'm not going home for Christmas this year, it's cold hard cash for me. Something I can use maybe for a rugby trip to England (insert evil grin here) or if my father does decide to take me Hong Kong next year...

And coming soon, once I get it converted to a JPEG file...the 54,000 point word that let's everyone know just what they can kiss...Bookworm is too addictive of a game...

Does anyone else besides me find it funny that porn diva Traci Lords is trying to pass as a serious actress now? I just saw her on some panel show billed as Traci Elizabeth Lords and they mentioned whatever show is on right now and her SHORT stint on Melrose Place but completely forgot to mention the fact that she did PORN WHEN SHE WAS SIXTEEN! Traci, we all know you're an empress of the epidermal epics...don't try to act otherwise...

Okay time for a couple of quick notes....five days prior to my 30,000 point extravaganza, someone logged in with a 45,000 point word...therefore, I really have no choice but to devote myself to getting a 50,000 point word...because, after all, a little competition is a good thing...

I went to Turtle's birthday party this weekend. No, the guy's name really isn't Turtle, but that's what we call him. As it was his 30th birthday it was necessary to throw the ever so appropriate soiree. Of course, as a nice of a party it was, it did require Brian to drink some vodka which gave me a nice buzz and sure enough I was talking sex, sexual positions, and master/slave relations with one guy and having one rugby cutie sitting on my lap followed by his boyfriend and then wound up getting a massage from said rugby cutie who then gave me a nice peck and grabbed my butt which reminded me that I've lost so much weight that I need to buy new jeans so they hug my ass a little bit better and then all of the twinks left and we got to talk about them afterwards. Oh the gossip I know...then again, it's not really that big because if I mentioned the parties involved...well...no one would really be that shocked...

Anyway, it's Veteran's Day and I am home from work as it is one of the few banking holidays I actually have and I'm sitting here watching the best talk show on the face of the planet -- Maury Povich. The only reason it is the best talk show on the planet is the fact that they do all of those wonderful paternity tests and the men they get on there who claim that the child isn't there is, perhaps the funniest comedy on the face of the planet. There was one guy who said that they baby couldn't be his because it didn't come out speaking Spanish. There was the guy who said that the baby was a girl and he only has "boy sperm." Then there was the woman who has been on the show five times and tested like eight men to be the father of her child and each time it was determined that they weren't the father. Then there was the girl who accused her boyfriend of making her pregnant and when they went to do the paternity test it was determined that she really wasn't pregnant after all. Mind you, the mother of this girl was yelling and bitching and screaming at this poor boy about how he was going to go to court and make sure that he lived up to his responsibility. So when they had that little, "oh by the way you're daughter isn't pregnant" segment the mother had to eat major crow and profusely apologize to this kid. Then there was the girl who swore that her ex-boyfriend had gotten her pregnant and then there was someone else who came forward and said that he might be the father of her child. That guy was...of all things....HER COUSIN. She swore up and down that her cousin was lying and they had never had sex. Yeah right, the cousin was the father of the child. Then there was the girl who swore up and down that this guy was the only guy she had ever had sex with and he was the father of her child. Nope, he wasn't and when she found out she went into hysterics and swore that the DNA test was wrong and it had to be wrong. I guess she was trying to relive the Immaculate Conception or something... Maury Povich has one car wreck of a show...you can't stop watching it because it's so wrong on multiple levels...

Here it is....the mythical 30,000 point word.....sigh....this is one of my prouder moments on the blog.....Paul thought he had reached the HEIGHTS while Allan thought he had VOUCHED for his own supremacy only to find out that Paul had a way with NATURES but it was my NEUROSIS that put me over the top...

Attention all Bookworm players....I have a score that none of you have come close to touching just yet...Just ask Mr. Frankenstein...the pic will be posted as soon as I can get home...

Fish, I blame the Olsen Twins for this...

Did you hear the one about the two women psychiatrists?

They would meet for lunch each week to discus their cases and check in on each other's mental health.

One day, one says to the other, "I'm worried about myself. At breakfast this morning, I had a little slip of the tongue in front of my husband and it's bothering me."

The other says, "Tell me about it. Don't be ashamed. We ought to discuss these Freudian slips. They could give you an insight into your subconscious."

So the first woman explains, "Well, I was eating breakfast and I looked over my husband. I meant to say, 'Please pass the buttered toast.' And instead I said, 'You ruined my life, you fucking bastard!'"

Fuck.

More from Googlism...

brian is not a gentleman
brian is an arsonist
brian is silicon chef
brian is appearing in an independent film called dreamers and i
brian is a little goofy
brian is the authorised maule agent for the pacific and asia
brian is my blog god
brian is north central florida's only honky tonk country
brian is charged with three counts of forgery
brian is now 13th in bowman gray stadium season points
brian is enclosed in a pyramid when torches are inserted
brian is a survivor of an airplane crash leaving him alone and desolate in the canadian wilderness
brian is varnishing his toe nails
brian is not a real person

Coming soon to a theatre near you....Rugby: First Blood -- the story of a new rugby player who gets accidentally clocked in the face by his coach and winds up bleeding at practice.

Yep, blood has been drawn. I feel like such a man now.

What happened was as follows -- we were practicing a rolling maul (which let me tell you if we pull this off in a game it will totally kick ass!) and I went in to strip the ball but while I was going for it, Coach Steve whacked me in the face and my first reaction was, "My glasses!" and then I felt really stupid because, well, I don't wear glasses anymore. Sure enough though, Steve's wedding band connected with the side of my nose and took a nice scrape of skin off. The poor man was apologizing left and right because he didn't mean to do it but it just happened.

Eh...like something worse isn't going to happen when I get into my first match.

It's official. I have completely lost total sanity.

Tonight it is going to be a whopping 32 degrees here in NYC. What am I going to be doing tonight??? Rugby practice. In the cold. I could be home watching Survivor or Friends or who knows what else but no...I am going to go out into the freezing cold in my very thin mesh pants (they are thinly lined as well) and run with a ball and try not to get killed tonight. I am going to freeze my ass off. And somehow, I don't know how, but somehow I am going to manage to get home and get up tomorrow morning and go to work all and pray that somewhere in the middle I don't die from hypothermia or dementia or both.

Oh and did I mention that I will be changing clothes at the field. In the wind. And the cold. And the wind. And the cold. Yes, it's official, I am nuts.

Warm bed or rugby? You would think this would be an easy decision and it is...but not in the way you would think. Rugby it is tonight. Maybe somewhere in the middle of all of this I will gain some sense and grab the first bus I see leaving to go back to Manhattan.

Well, sad to say, but I did get the correct bachelorette to be booted last night. Bye Gwen...I miss you already.

In other news, I have taken this Democratic drubbing in the recent elections with a fresh set of eyes. The Republicans have been told, in effect, "Okay, you want power. Well we'll give it to you but you had better damn well produce." The Democrats have been told, "Okay, guys, you want power, well you need to get out there and prove that you should be leading."

Basically both sides have been told to shut up and do their jobs. Enough yapping and bitching and complaining and pointing fingers at each other. We want you to produce. We want you to work. Republicans have been bitching that the Democrats are holding them up from getting their work done. Well by God you have the ball now so you had better shoot and score. Democrats, you had better take a strong look at your "coaches" and decide whether or not to fire them. In a way, you got lucky in 1998. The Republicans tried to use Clinton's taped deposition against him and it backfired on them giving you better numbers in the House and Senate. So what am I saying here...Republicans had better produce and Democrats had better start to think smarter and with a stronger, more powerful voice. I have hopes that Senator Edwards of North Carolina gives a run for the Oval Office in 2004. He may be the best choice the Democrats have to reclaim the White House until 2008.

In other news, I woke up late this morning, was late into work, and will probably be late to rugby practice as well. To top it all off, I forgot to set my VCR to tape Survivor, Will & Grace, and who knows what else before I left. Sigh...I hate it when I'm late. I rush and I forget important things. Like wearing underwear...

Cal me nuts, call me crazy, called me whacked out on crack but I am making my prediction as to whom the Bachelor (Aaron Buerge) will kick to the curb tonight -- After much deliberation I am going to say Gwen. I think Brooke is going to make it to the final two and it will come down to Helene and Gwen. Of course I could totally be wrong, but who knows...

You must be pretty peeved right now then, eh?

What pisses you off?

Created by ptocheia

Pain, pain, enormous pain...

And I'm not just talking about the major Democrat Senate defeats either...

I got DRILLED at rugby practice during a maul exercise. We were doing off-angle mauling where you run at the attacker/defender but instead of running at them directly for a full front hit, you hit them at the shoulder. If there is enough power then you get them off-balance and can run through them.

I got NAILED in this drill. Jose came and barrelled into me and it truly did knock me off balance. But the pain on my upper chest last night and this morning was unbelieveable. We're talking major bruise here...

And then to the Democrats. I know I am as disappointed as they are. Jean Carnahan, babycakes, I love ya. You were put into a difficult situation and did the best that you possibly could. There is a learning curve to the job and you did your damnedest to make it work for you...Interesting to note that everyone is already calling the Mondale/Coleman race in Minnesota except NBC who still says it's too close to call.

Anyway what does this election mean for the Republicans? To quote RuPaul (yes, RuPaul), "You better work, girl!" They have a lot to prove in two years and if they don't get their heads out of their collective asses in the next 730 days then they can kiss their president goodbye.

I saw this on Court TV and it was pretty funny. Looks like the prosecution took a page out of David Letterman's book when doing their closing argument. Personally, I think the evidence shows that Winona Ryder, despite her protestations and excuses, really did shoplift and is guilty. I think her lawyer was full of crap.

'Top 10 list of things the law does not say'

(Court TV) — Presented by Deputy District Attorney Ann Rundle in her closing argument against Winona Ryder:

10. There is a higher standard of proof for celebrities

9. Two wrongs make a right

(a reference to mistakes or misstatements police may have made after Ryder was arrested)

8. If you sell $200 hair bows you deserve to get ripped off

(one of the items Ryder allegedly stole was a $214 Frederic Fekkai sequined hair bow)

7. If it's not in the first report, it didn't happen

(a security guard's claim that she saw Ryder cutting off security tags did not appear on the first police report)

6. Only defense attorneys can drive nice cars

(Ryder's defense claimed one guard had profited from selling the story of Ryder's arrest and was driving a new car)

5. The DA must call every person working at Saks that day

4. It's not stealing as long as you pay for some items

(Ryder had purchased some of the items in her possession that day)

3. Crime is OK if your director tells you to do it

(a security guard testified Ryder had admitted to shoplifting, but claimed she was rehearsing for a role)

2. No video, no crime

(the surveillance video did not actually show Ryder cutting off security tags and stuffing items in her bags)

1. Only poor people steal

And should I be concerned that the person that I had a sex dream about might have been flirting with me last night? I've never been growled at by a man before...

It's time for Brian to bitch and moan again and I am so not happy. Basically, this is one of those "If I don't get this out ASAP then someone is going to have their head ripped off and used as a bowling ball"!

I have a coworker (who for the sake of this entry we'll call Gloria) who was injured on the job and went through worker's compensation, etc. She was on short term disability and came back to the job. Well, she's become one of those people who uses her injury to her advantage to get other people to do her work, etc. She's become afraid to turn or move or pretty much do anything.

Now, I know that she has some pretty valid reasons for feeling the way she does and is entitled to her apprehension in regards to certain actions. I guess what pisses me off the most is that she acts like a damn china doll who can't move or act or do certain things without going into a tizzy over it. From experience (and like I said this is just me and I know that everyone else's body is different yadda yadda yadda), if I hold my body in a certain position for an extended period of time then, yes, any movement is going to be painful because my body isn't used to being moved in that direction.

I guess what pisses me off the most is that she's not even trying to get better as much as she's bitching and moaning about it. When she takes her time off, her work falls on me. That's not to say that I am overloaded with work, but her "poor pitiful Pearl" voicemails I get and her timid little ways of coming up to me as if just speaking alone with break her neck is starting to take a toll on me. At first I sympathized with her but now that I see it's more of a trend with her my sympathy is waning.

Ugh...this was not how I wanted to start my morning.

Okay all you Navy guys (and gals) out there...I know you're finding my blog by looking up variations of the phrase "genvieve gorder nude" and "genveive gorder porn" and other perverted things about the show Trading Spaces.

Um...aren't you supposed to be defending our country or something... :)

What I hate most about working in the banking industry -- everyone draws lines in the sand and points fingers at each other as to why something is wrong.

For the past two days I have been trying to work out why a certain transaction appears wrong on either my side of the spreadsheet or the client's side. Everyone is like, "Well you need to talk to this person to see what they did and don't do anything until you hear back from them and this is how you need to draft an email to make sure you get your point across..." and everyone can just shut the hell up.

The main trepidation I had in taking this job was that my knowledge of the financial world stopped when I left the hell hole known as Merrill Lynch back in 1996. Even then I was only working in mutual fund operations and didn't have the knowledge base that I feel is necessary in order to keep up with my job here. I keep asking for training here but I do know that there is a limited amount of time that I have to go to these classes and they aren't offered that much....

So...off to sit in the boss' office on a conference call while more people draw more lines in the sand and nothing gets done.

Another New York Moment

Where else in the world can you watch a rec league hockey match at 11:30 at night, go to a leather bar (or at least one that has the reputation for being a leather bar), and then eat Indian food at 2:00 in the morning in a hole in the wall restaurant that has the radio station tuned so we can all hear Jon Secada and Marc Anthony sing in their native Spanish?

There are some things that are so uniquely "New York," that when you experience them and have a moment to reflect on the absurdity of the moment, it makes you appreciate those moments all the more...

Well, as soon as I post to question as to whether or not we had gotten the nod to be the US delegate for the 2012 Olympic bids...well we did! Yes, NYC 2012 is going forward to face Rome, Toronto, Rio de Janiero, Moscow, and who knows who else will jump into the fray.

If NYC hosts the Olympics ten years from now it's going to be one amazing time. I think it could be another step to help heal the city and bring our international culture together as one force. I was watching the news and they had a track athlete who got a gold medal in 1988 in Seoul being interviewed. She said that of the roughly 190+ different countries in the world, 98% of them could be found in NYC.

It's funny, I was on the shuttle bus to Ikea and when we came out of the Lincoln Tunnel we were greeted with this fabulous view of the NYC skyline. I just stared at it as we headed to the turnpike and I found myself sighing at the image. I had the same feeling then as I did when I first glimpsed it late one night on my way to the hotel for my job interview the following day -- it's home.

Well I have my boots.....that made me happy.....

Oh and to the kidnappers whose plan to kidnap the Spice Girls' Victoria was foiled....DAMN YOU! Now there's a chance that they will reunite and poison us with a new album or even worse another movie...

Sigh...

Oh and they are still voting on whether NYC or San Francisco will be the US bid to host the 2012 Olympic Games...now this should be interesting....

Sigh...to take my mind off of the UPS debacle I've added some new items to the Tales From the City Store. Sigh...calming down....somewhat...

Unless a gun is held to your head or you are required to do so under the penalty of death or some tyrant who thinks he has a brain takes over this country (oh wait, hasn't that already happened?), do not use UPS for any form of shipping.

Their customer service sucks. The rugby boots you see below have been sitting on a truck since 6:00 this morning and have yet to make it to their required destination. I called UPS to make sure that they are being shipped to the right place so I can pick them up (because I am not going to leave those shoes on my front stoop for someone to steal) and I was told that I would get a call back in two hours after they had talked to the driver of the truck because they don't carry cell phones with them (at least that's what UPS said). I say, BULLSHIT! They do carry cellphones, they just don't give UPS the damn number!

Anyway...so I called back at 2 when I didn't get a phone call back with word from the driver. They said to call back at three (which would have made it almost 4 hours since I originally called) just to give a little extra cushion. I called back at three and they sent another message to the station who then waited another hour to call me back. Their message to me -- we'll call you back in half an hour.

Yeah.

Right.

I'm calling THEM in half an hour. They do not want to me turn into a major diva bitch on their ass. I want my boots. I want them now. This is unacceptable.

I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my new rugby boots that I got at RugbyGear.com. So if you're looking for something to buy me for Christmas this year...head there or go to Ruggers.com and get me something nice and fun there...

But here are my boots...Reebok Visigoth High boots...I'm pretty happy...I'll be even happier when I get the damn things...