Monday, November 11, 2002

Okay time for a couple of quick notes....five days prior to my 30,000 point extravaganza, someone logged in with a 45,000 point word...therefore, I really have no choice but to devote myself to getting a 50,000 point word...because, after all, a little competition is a good thing...

I went to Turtle's birthday party this weekend. No, the guy's name really isn't Turtle, but that's what we call him. As it was his 30th birthday it was necessary to throw the ever so appropriate soiree. Of course, as a nice of a party it was, it did require Brian to drink some vodka which gave me a nice buzz and sure enough I was talking sex, sexual positions, and master/slave relations with one guy and having one rugby cutie sitting on my lap followed by his boyfriend and then wound up getting a massage from said rugby cutie who then gave me a nice peck and grabbed my butt which reminded me that I've lost so much weight that I need to buy new jeans so they hug my ass a little bit better and then all of the twinks left and we got to talk about them afterwards. Oh the gossip I know...then again, it's not really that big because if I mentioned the parties involved...well...no one would really be that shocked...

Anyway, it's Veteran's Day and I am home from work as it is one of the few banking holidays I actually have and I'm sitting here watching the best talk show on the face of the planet -- Maury Povich. The only reason it is the best talk show on the planet is the fact that they do all of those wonderful paternity tests and the men they get on there who claim that the child isn't there is, perhaps the funniest comedy on the face of the planet. There was one guy who said that they baby couldn't be his because it didn't come out speaking Spanish. There was the guy who said that the baby was a girl and he only has "boy sperm." Then there was the woman who has been on the show five times and tested like eight men to be the father of her child and each time it was determined that they weren't the father. Then there was the girl who accused her boyfriend of making her pregnant and when they went to do the paternity test it was determined that she really wasn't pregnant after all. Mind you, the mother of this girl was yelling and bitching and screaming at this poor boy about how he was going to go to court and make sure that he lived up to his responsibility. So when they had that little, "oh by the way you're daughter isn't pregnant" segment the mother had to eat major crow and profusely apologize to this kid. Then there was the girl who swore that her ex-boyfriend had gotten her pregnant and then there was someone else who came forward and said that he might be the father of her child. That guy was...of all things....HER COUSIN. She swore up and down that her cousin was lying and they had never had sex. Yeah right, the cousin was the father of the child. Then there was the girl who swore up and down that this guy was the only guy she had ever had sex with and he was the father of her child. Nope, he wasn't and when she found out she went into hysterics and swore that the DNA test was wrong and it had to be wrong. I guess she was trying to relive the Immaculate Conception or something... Maury Povich has one car wreck of a show...you can't stop watching it because it's so wrong on multiple levels...
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