Monday night (and I would have posted it Tuesday if it weren't for the whole voting debacle) I got to talking with some friends about...well....about oral sex and bad oral sex because someone made the comment that, "Hey a mouth is a mouth," and I tended to disagree with that statement because I have received bad oral sex before and trust me there's nothing worse than having a guy think he's doing a great job down there and you're doing quadratic equations in your head because that's actually more enjoyable.

This led me to bring up my worst experience in giving head to a guy. I was about 20 or so and I'm going down on this guy for all it's worth and doing what I thought was a slam bang job on my part. Then I hear him singing and humming to himself (please no hummer jokes). I'm still going at it but I'm trying to be sure that it's him singing to himself and sure enough it was him. So I stop for a second and look at him and say, "Am I doing something wrong here? Is it just a bad blow job?"

He looks down at me and says, "Oh no, man. You're doing great. Keep going." So I back on him and sure enough about three minutes later I hear, "La dee dee da, da doo da dee..." He's singing to himself again. I look up at him and he looks down at me and winks as if he's saying I'm doing well but he's still singing.

I stopped sucking on him and said that I wasn't going to continue if he was going to sing because I thought it was rude. I mean if you're not into the moment with the other person then what's the point, you know? Well the other guy didn't seem to get it as he got pissed off that I stopped giving him "primo service" (his phrase not mine) and somehow couldn't fathom that I would be turned off by him singing at such an intimate moment.

Men.