Monday, November 24, 2003

Things that have been on my mind as of late...

  • The spokesmodel competition on Star Search. Can someone explain to me why this is considered a talent? Stand and model? That just about any gay bar in the world.

  • How should I feel when a colleague says they should recommend me for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? Should I be insulted? Should I tell them that I'm already gay?

  • Knowing that there are five men that I'm kinda sorta seeing (well, really four, the fifth I am asking out tonight) makes me wonder whether or not I'm really a big whore even though I've only slept with one of them.

  • What parent in their right mind would let their kids spend any time (and unsupervised at that) with Michael Jackson? I mean...letting them sleep over? What crack are you on?

  • Michael Jackson (since I'm on a roll here) weighs like 120 pounds? That means when I'm doing the seated bench press I'm pretty much lifting (well pushing really) the equivalent of Michael Jackson? My the bulimia (or anorexia, or bulim-orexia) sure has paid off.

  • I still think Bob from The Bachelor only chose Estella at the end so he had a reason to move to Southern California and hook up with J.Lo.

  • Mayonnaise still looks like cum to me.

  • I still think Rosie O'Donnell is a cunt and I refuse to see Taboo even though I was offered free tickets (and good seats too) for the show this week

  • I am downloading far too many ringtones onto my new cellphone. What am I really going to do with the theme to CHiPs, Bewitched, or the song "Personal Jesus"?

  • I've said it once and I'll say it again, Christmas just isn't Christmas until I tell off my grandmother.

  • I'm seeing SuitMan tonight. I'm gonna ask him out. Hopefully he's not heading out of town this week for Thanksgiving.

  • I met my fan club this weekend (yes, I have a fan club but more on that later). What a bunch of wonderfully nice women. We had dinner and then I helped them buy purses which only goes to show that I don't need any help from Carson Kressley. My big question was, "Show me how you're going to hold it," and if it resembled a Sophia Petrillo-on-the-wrist look then it was totally out.

  • I'm a whore for Kathy Griffin. I want to throw myself at her feet and worship her.

  • Lillian from Survivor -- what a gal. Love her. If I was able of having kids I would have them for her. But only via in vitro because sex with women is nasty. Vaginas. Ewww.

  • Clay Aiken looks like a plucked weasel.

  • Whatever happened to Prince (or the Artist Formerly Known As...)? Yes...I really want to know.

  • I'm heading up to a lovely resort in the Hudson Valley region in a few weeks. I have three hours of massages planned back-to-back-to-back. And all with the same guy. God I hope Kip is cute. It will make those three hours worth it.

  • This blog posting has been brought to you by the letters "K" and "X" and the number 69.

  • That's all for now. I'm sure there will be more later.

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