Monday Meltdown

Why is it when you're just standing on the corner of the street in Washington Heights and looking up into traffic to see if you can cross before the lights change (oh please, we all do it), every gypsy cab in the world will slow down to see if you need a ride and then speed off when you reject them – even if they've just seen the cab before them not pick you up?

Why is it that salsa music doesn’t sound as good when it’s blaring out of someone's car speakers at the highest volume you can set it at before it reaches eardrum shattering proportions? Or is it just because it was three in the morning?

Why is it when you ask a gay man in a bar if he was ever interested in playing rugby he looks as if you've just stepped off of another planet?

Why is it when you're standing next to a guy with his arm around you and your arm around his waist and you’re in a bar you have the unmistakable urge to throw him up against the wall and kiss every inch of his body?

Why is it that when you’re one of the few Caucasian people in your neighborhood, all convenience store owners want your opinion on what beers "white people" drink regardless of whether or not you drink beer?

Why is it that some sports have odd names like korfball or squash? How did these sports get their names?

Why is it when the go-go boys in gay bars are really cute, wearing next to nothing, and have a great body but are totally bored dancing on their platform you give them less money (if any) than you would to the just as cute but not as really cute dancer who is wearing a bit more clothing (maybe an inch more fabric) and a good bod but not as cut as the other guy but he’s really into moving on his platform and having a good time? Could it be that boredom, no matter what package it comes in, is not as sexy?

Why is it that some gay bars play porn that really doesn't turn you on and expect you to keep coming back to watch it? We're talking porn that has a small Asian kid bound with leather straps, getting zapped with an electric cattle prod, while the guy who is zapping him is jacking off over him. Is that supposed to be erotic?

Why is it that the Wonder Twink looks even hotter in just a towel and nothing else? And why is it that I think he also shaves his chest considering the fact that he was pretty much hairless when I first saw him without his shirt on? Why is it that he looks hotter with the chest hair than without?

Why is it that people don't seem to comprehend the fact that I’ve been pretty much nothing more than a monk for the past few months and haven't had a truly serious relationship in almost ten years?

Yeah. Why have I not been in a serious relationship in ten years?