There's just something about a wedding that gets me a little schmoopy.

Yesterday, my friend Dee remarried her husband Jeff. Long story short, Dee was diagnosed with colon cancer about two years ago. When she received the diagnosis, she turned to her then-boyfriend Jeff and said pretty much that if he wanted to call it quits between them right then and there, he could with no regrets or remorse. In turn, he asked her to marry him. They were married in a small civil ceremony but decided that they really still wanted the full deal with the gown and the tuxedo, the reception, the DJ, the works. Today, she got her wish as the two of them renewed their vows and were remarried.

And that's when I got to thinking about my wedding. I don't call it a commitment ceremony because I think that's a term the gay and lesbian community made up to throw in the face of the heterosexual world. It's not a wedding it's a commitment ceremony. Well, hell, that's what a wedding is anyway...isn't it? You're committing yourself to one person for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in bad meals and bad hair days, and on and on.

So I was thinking about my wedding. I definitely would like something outdoors in the nice cool weather of the fall or spring. Definitely not in the summer. I will probably be in a tuxedo and I don't want to be sweating like a pig at my own wedding. I know I don't want the traditional thing. Of course there is the processional but I don't want too much of what Dee called, "the God stuff." Dee also didn't adhere to having all women in her bridal party. She broke rank and had a guy. Jeff didn't do it but I have always thought that if they are a dear friend you should have them next to you regardless of their gender. I know there are at least two women that I would want in my wedding party.

I remember watching this movie called "I Think I Do" and it took place over the weekend of a wedding. In this, one of the readings of the wedding was an exceprt from a book by Carson McCullers. The monologue (as I have come to call it) really speaks to why you love a person. The character goes on to talk about the little things about a guy that mean so much like how his finger is broken from playing baseball or how his hair stands up in the back when he wakes up in the morning or how his nose is slightly crooked. She loves him simply because she does.

Weddings are so affirming that love does exist in this world. So often we are reminded about the hate and the evil and the bad things in life that it's nice to be reminded that there are people in this world that have connected with each other and decided that they want to spend the rest of their life with each other. I think so often we focus on the things that are less than desireable in our lives and don't stop to look around at all of the positive things. Weddings, for me, have always brought hope. It's a harbinger of the future that even for this one bright shining moment things are great (even if people in your wedding party may have been assholes). All things are possible. The road has been rocky getting there and it's going to be rocky going forward, but this one day is special.