Maury Povich -- Car Wreck Television

You're home from work on the MLK holiday and there you find it. Maury Povich doing paternity tests. And you're compelled to watch. You just have to tune in and see which man is going to claim to not be "the baby daddy" or that the baby can't be his because it didn't come out of the womb speaking Spanish or that all the men in his family only have boy sperm and that it can't be his baby because it's a girl or that the baby can't be his because it's too white (nevermind the fact that the mother is white). Oh yes. Maury Povich. The best in morning TV. Where you can bring 11 guys on TV to be DNA tested as your child's dad but it only proves that you are one heck of a whore.

I crave it.