Thursday, August 24, 2006

Maybe This Time

So...remember that post a while ago where I mentioned a "friends with benefits" situation where the friend wanted to try for something more than just that.

Well...we're kinda working on it in our own way. Before our talks pretty much gravitated about sex and when we would be getting together again. The sex was always great. But, as of late, we're talking more about other things in our personal lives than we have before. We're actually emailing each other a bit more and sharing things. He's leaving tonight for a week and a half in Europe. And I'm kinda gonna miss him. I even said that to him in an email and after I sent it, I was like, "Why did I just say that?"

Well, maybe because it's true. I can't say that it's the start of something between us but we'll see. I'm still not sure I can see us together as a couple and I think that's what's keeping me from taking this whole thing seriously. Part of it is because he's INCREDIBLY successful in his field to the point where he was able to leave his high paying position and start his own firm. I don't want to risk losing my identity to that. I mean he could, conceivably, take care of me on his own without me working and that's not going to happen. (Then again he hasn't offered that either.)

I don't know. It's a bit confusing and I'm trying not to get too wrapped up in it -- especially as he's not in town. There's also probably more to it than either I realize or want to admit to myself. I'll figure it out at some point I am sure.
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