Well I was gonna blog about my date with SkiGuy but the bastards at the office implemented the new filter system on the internet so now I can't even check mail which really sucks...anyway...we'll talk about that later.....something came up tonight after rugby practice that must be discussed.....
One of my nearest and dearest friends (and former high school teacher) called and I got his message after practice saying he was in town and could we get together. Now I had planned to go home and chill after practice because it's been a long week and I really just needed the time to rest. However, since I haven't seen Murphy (yes, it's another fake name) in a while I decided that I needed to ditch the home plans and just head out with him. First and foremost for someone who turned 40 this year, he looks AMAZING....
But anyway...Murphy and Claude (his long term partner) were pretty much my sherpas as I was coming out and I really relied on them quite a bit to get through the initial personal acceptance and religious issues I had since I was raised Southern Baptist and of course that's just akin to 1) being black (since there was only one black family EVER to attend my family's church in Florida and 2) drinking or 3) having sex of any form...ANYWAY (I am digressing) these two were really pretty much a very integral transition phase for me.
Tonight, after meeting up with Murphy we did the obligatory, "Oh my, you look so good!" compliments (with Murphy telling me I look better now than I did in high school) he let it slip that he has a 28 year old boyfriend. I stopped and said, "Um...what happened to Claude?" Murphy's face dropped and I knew that something major had happened between the two of them. Pretty much they have been separated for about two years and they are working through their issues and trying to get back to the place they were not that long ago.
"You're disappointed, aren't you?" Murphy said looking me right in the eyes. I trotted out my standard line that I only want my friends to be happy and do what makes the happy. I might disagree with what they do or maybe not understand why they are doing what they are doing, but I will still support them.
Now that I've had a cab ride home to think about it, yeah maybe I am a little disappointed. Murphy and Claude were, for lack of a better term, my role models. Their relationship was exactly what I was looking for in a relationship (and for the record, pretty much still is...) so to hear that they had gone through a very severe rough patch was not what I wanted to hear. Yes, I know that all couples go through bad phases but to know that they had been split for about two years (and neither of them had told me in the many conversations we had had) was even more of what I didn't want to hear. While Murphy seems certain that at some point in time soon he and Claude will be back together, I myself am not that sure.
Now, I know, I know...there's really and truly not much I can do beyond offer support, moral or otherwise. However, I do know that what they are going through are the traditional relationship pains and, for the most part, it's all about how you deal with the issues when they arise. I still have faith in them pulling through although I do know that it's not going to be quick or easy. I guess it's somewhat refreshing though to know some truths as well before I get into a serious relationship so I know what not to duplicate.
But what I did say was true...I want them to be happy even if it means that they aren't together.