Wednesday, April 20, 2005

646Guy -- Subway Asshole

I debated whether or not to post it but I figured what the hell...it's a good story.

I was on the subway platform last week going to rugby practice after leaving the doctor's office to get my quarterly diabetes blood check. I stepped onto the car and seeing that there was plenty of room beyond the person standing at the pole blocking the aforementioned room, I paused and politely said...

"Excuse me, can I..."

At this point, this fucking CUNT of a woman rushes onto the train, slams into me, and tells me to move in. She's clearly one of the Upper East Side Rich Bitches who think that they own the planet because they have more money than they know what to do with and are used to stepping on people like cockroaches all day.

Wrong fucking move for her to make.

Now commences the brief one act play -- "646Guy -- Subway Asshole"

646Guy: Was that really necessary?

Cunt: I was trying to get on the train.

646Guy: And there was plenty of room for you to just step onto the train and not have to knock me over to do that.

Cunt: Well I wanted to sit down and you weren't moving in.

646Guy: And I was in the process of asking this guy in front of me if I could go in. You still didn't need to shove me out of the way.

Cunt: I DIDN'T SHOVE YOU!

646Guy: Bullshit! You about knocked me on my ass when you came charging onto the car. If I had been an old woman would you have barged onto the car like that?

Cunt: No...

646Guy: How about an old man?

Cunt: Well, no....

646guy: What about a pregnant woman?

Cunt: (clearly annoyed with me) No...

646Guy: Then why the fuck was it okay for you to do it to me?

Cunt: (stammering not able to make any coherent statement) Because...

646Guy: Would have liked it if I had done that to you?

Cunt: *whimper*

646Guy: Maybe next time you'll be a little more patient and a little more polite when you step your rich bitch ass onto the train because there will be people like me who aren't going to take shit like this from people like you.

At this point the train is pulling into the next station. CUNT decides to get off at this station and take an express train but not before giving me one last goodbye.

Cunt: You are such a fucking asshole.

646Guy: And you're still a rich bitch cunt. I can always change my attitude but you'll still be a rich bitch cunt.

FADE TO BLACK

At least two people thanked me for my tirade since they didn't have the balls to pull something like that off but I just got pissed that there was PLENTY of room for her enter the train but she felt compelled to shove me out of the way just so she could sit down. That's something, I can assure you, she didn't get to do on my train.
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