Thursday, April 21, 2005

646Guy -- Elevator Asshole

So coming off the heels of the world acclaimed production 646Guy -- Subway Asshole, I present to you the newest installment in the Asshole series. This actually happened yesterday as I was leaving work. I had about four errands to run after work and didn't want to be sweaty, nasty, and disgusting in my work clothes running around the city so I brought a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to change into with a pair of sneakers. I changed in the bathroom and went to the elevator. It was after hours so it's not like I was still "at work."

I got on the elevator (I'm one of the top 2 floors on my elevator bank) and got it. The elevator went down two floors and two people got in -- one man (who I know is an "office dweller" rather than a "cubicle guy") and a woman. They both were speaking Spanish and as I studied the language for about eight years, I like to sometimes try to see how much I remember. Boy am I glad I remembered a lot.

Now for this scene, I have translated their Spanish (or what I can remember...there may be some extrapolating to make up for what I don't know) into English.

Male Spanish Speaker: Look at him. (referring to 646Guy)

Female Spanish Speaker: What moron wears shorts and a t-shirt out of the office?

Male Spanish Speaker: He looks like a retard (not sure if he said retard or something else but it clearly wasn't a compliment).

Female Spanish Speaker: So unprofessional of him.

At this point, the elevator has now entered the express zone which means the next stop will be the lobby level and no one else will be getting on the elevator.

646Guy: You know. You shouldn't assume that the gringo in the shorts doesn't understand a word of Spanish.

Instant looks of shock and horror from Male and Female Spanish Speakers as they realize that I have understood maybe 75-85% of their conversation.

The elevator arrives at the ground floor. No conversation has taken place. 646Guy hasn't looked at the Spanish Speakers at all since announcing he has understood what they are saying.


646Guy: Have a good evening.

FADE TO BLACK

I haven't run into either of them in the office yet today but I am sure that I will in the future. I think one of them was making apologetic overtures to me or was trying to at least while in the elevator car. Since I wasn't paying them any attention I can't be sure.

And frankly I don't care.
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