Things I need to do today in preparation for my trip to Canada tomorrow (with commentary from my other personality)...

1) Clean apartment. (Nice try, Brian but there is no way in hell that you are going to get that done.....try something else...)

2) Find passport. (You're flying to freakin' Canada and you're taking your passport. That's sad...all you need is your driver's license right...then again I may be wrong so you better take it along anyway. Besides we know you just want to finally get it stamped since it's been empty for so long.)

3) Get money exchanged into Canadian dollars. (What? Like they don't have ATMs in Canada?)

4) Figure out if I'm going to get a tattoo and if so of what. (You have two tattoos already. One sometimes qualifies you as being "hip." Two makes you somewhat of a "badass." Three...well you're just asking for the leather chaps and Harley aren't you?)

5) Pick up laundry so I can pack tonight. (Yeah, thank God you're not going to be flying naked. I'm sure the passengers on the plane with you appreciate that as well.)

6) Find suitable reading material for the plane. (So help me God if you take Valley of the Dolls with you again I may revolt and force you to buy something really bad like a Danielle Steele novel. Be smart. Bring a pack of cards.)

7) See if there may be anyone interested in guest blogging for two or three days while I am gone. (What is this? You think people would actually want to write on this site? You can't bear to see it lie dormant for a few days?)

8) Call Mom and remind her I'll be gone for a few days should any emergencies arise. (Okay so this is sorta valid. I'll let it slide.)

9) Pray that I don't start using the word "eh?" at the end of every sentence once I return from Canada. (Not as if what you say already isn't annoying enough.)

10) Get laid before I go so I won't be a walking hormone. (Yeah, like that's gonna happen.)