Thursday, March 31, 2005

Loyalty

Today my loyalty as a person and a friend was called into question.

Twice.

The first person to question it I sorta blew off as something done during the heat of an argument which was then followed by a friend calling me and questioning why I was not in the best of moods when I answered the phone. I mentioned that I had someone just tell me that I wasn't a loyal friend. Their response:

"Well, you're not..."

And with that they went off into their own conversation that they had originally called me about and the comment was lost into the ether.

Well it was until it came back and hit me with the force of a hurricane about fifteen minutes later. Were they joking? Were they serious? Am I not a loyal friend? Am I not loyal at all?

It's giving me pause to really examine myself and try to understand what was being said and how true it may or may not be. I dunno what to think anymore. The first time it didn't really hurt because it seemed to come from anger and passion and I could, somewhat, dismiss it as being a product of emotion. But the second one came at me totally at random and is making me wonder who I really am as a person and a friend.

I've always thought of myself as a loyal friend who would go to extremes to help out in a pinch. But at the same time, I've always been able to have great debates with friends over issues where we disagreed but it never harmed a friendship. I guess I'm just at a loss here because I can't explain it or comprehend this one at all.

From either person.
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