Women's Boobs...Explained

Okay I got an email asking me why I was looking at women's boobs in the office and well, I guess that does need some explanation.

As many of you know, I work as the production director for a series of expos held across the country. Some of our shows are quite industry specific and this was the case with the womens boobs. Yes, me and womens boobs at an expo. Well not really.

Each year the company I work for produces two erotic expos. Now, to keep abreast (for lack of a better word...not to mention keeping this post boob-centric) of the current trends in the world of adult entertainment, we get copies of the Adult Video News (aka the AVN) and the Gay Video News (the GayVN). Well, the copies come to me first and I distribute them out to those that need them so they can contact their clients and we go from there. So I basically get to see what industry news is out there, get ideas for our erotic shows, etc.

The GayVN is very cut and dry but the AVN is just rocking with toys and movies and LOTS of topless women. I mean it's like every woman has two pairs of eyes loooking at you. And the bizarre thing is that while I'm a totally 100% gay man, I think women's breasts are the most intriguing thing in the world. I have no desire to touch them, fondle them, kiss them, suckle them, or anything to them. But I don't mind looking at them and I'm pretty impressed when I see a natural rack walking down the street.

So yes...looking at women's boobs (not to mention gay porn, sex toy websites, and more) is part of my job. Someone has to do it...for some reason it's me.

And to my mother should you ever find this blog and read this post...I'm sorry. This is the one part of the job that I kept away from your Southern Baptist eyes for a reason. However, if you want to know the best toys in town, let me know and I'll pass the info along so you can entertain yourself while Dad is out of town on business.

Why I Love My Job

Actual phone conversation:

David: OMG! Jimmy Carter is on my plane! He shook my hand! He's sitting across the aisle from me!

Brian: Wow. You get Jimmy Carter on your flight and I get to look at women's boobs. Ah, the lives we lead.

Post-Workout Recommendations?

Okay heading to bed here and still in a lot of pain from an extreme leg workout with the trainer yesterday (with Richie's sadistic drop sets on the leg press are the main culprit) and I cramped up bad last night even with drinking a gallon of water after my workout and taking 2 tylenol PM before I went to bed. I also did some stretching with the pilates band as well but maybe I should have done some more. Anyhoo...any recommendations for what to do when you kinda know that you're going to be paying for it for a few days afterwards...and no, not doing drop sets on the leg press isn't an option...okay maybe this week....

Hobbling off to bed...

Workout of Death (AKA Workout Regimen Part 2)

Here's what went down tonight just so you know what I'm talking about

Pre-training session -- 25 minutes of cardio (approx 2 miles) on elliptical runner

Leg press
2 sets of 20 at 90 pounds (warm up)
2 sets of 10 at 540(!) pounds
1 set of 15 at 360 pounds
Then "Drop Set Mania" sets in
1 set of 10 at 270 pounds followed by 5 seconds rest
1 set of 10 at 225 pounds followed by 5 seconds rest
1 set of 10 at 180 pounds followed by 5 seconds rest
1 set of 10 at 135 pounds followed by 5 seconds rest
1 set of 10 at 90 pounds followed by 5 seconds rest
1 set of 10 at 45 pounds

Free standing squats
3 sets of 15 at 115 pounds

Hamstring curls
1 set of 20 at 50 pounds
1 set of 20 at 70 pounds
1 set of 20 at 90 pounds

Aductors
1 set of 20 at 50 pounds
2 sets of 20 at 100 pounds
1 set of 20 at 90 pounds

Abductors
1 set of 20 at 70 pounds
2 sets of 20 at 80 pounds

Calf Raises
3 sets of 20 at 45 pounds

Calf Lifts
3 sets of 20 at 60 pounds

Lower Back Extensions
2 sets of 15

If you think I'm tired....you're right.

Sign On The Dotted Line

If I was actually in my whore phase and not trying to date and settle down, etc., then this would come in handy...then again maybe not...

Workout Regime...I Mean Regimen...

I ran into some friends I hadn't seen in a while after the gym today. Last time I saw them was back in October when I was working mammoth hours at the office and not going to the gym at all. My eating habits sucked and I had packed on some weight. They noticed that I had slimmed down a bit and wanted to know what I was doing since their New Year's resolutions to tone up weren't panning out as planned.

So here's what I told them I do (and mind you, it's modified to reflect my new trainer/cardio schedule that kicks in next week but it will, at the very least, give you an idea of what I'm doing...)

Day 1 AM -- One hour of cardio (mix of elliptical and treadmill)
Day 1 PM -- 1/2 hour cardio warm up, One hour of hard weights with the trainer
Day 2 AM -- One hour of cardio (mix of stair climber and treadmill)
Day 2 PM -- One hour Boxing Class, 45 minutes of weights
Day 3 AM -- One hour of cardio (mix of elliptical and bike)
Day 3 PM -- 1/2 cardio warm up, one hour of hard weights with the trainer
Day 4 AM -- One hour of cardio (mix of bike and treadmill)
Day 4 PM -- One hour Boxing Class, 45 minutes of weights
Day 5 AM -- One hour of cardio (mix of elliptical and stair climber)
Day 5 PM -- NOTHING
Day 6 -- NOTHING
DAY 7 -- NOTHING (option for an hour of cardio if I'm in the mood to rollerblade through the neighborhood)

The fun part was telling my friends how much weight I had lost. They were banking on 25 pounds but in reality it's only 10 which is primarily due to muscle gain. I can see a bit more definition in my arms and chest and my stomach, while never perfect, is slowly getting flatter. My legs, I must admit, look pretty awesome (mainly because I never cheat on the calf machines).

On the good side, I've reconciled myself to the fact that I'm never going to have a twink body or the size 30 waist I've coveted since high school. However, I know that my total weight loss goal is definitely within reach. I'm setting small benchmark goals along the way as well -- May 4th for when I go to my cousin's wedding in Florida; August 10th when I head back for my second trip to the West Coast for our erotic show; and December 19th when I head to Florida to spend Christmas with the family. The plan is to drop 10 pounds by each target date so by the time I get to Costa Rica on December 27, I will be at my target weight and then it's just maintenance and development. Sure, I'll always be over 200 pounds and probaly won't make it below 200 in my life, but if I can manage my weight going forward, it's going to make things a lot better.

I need new pics though to show off the changes...

Crushing...Again...

Okay, I know the odds of me meeting him are slim to fucking none, but this guy, Derek, from the latest edition of Trump's The Apprentice is just freakin' cute as hell...he even makes a beekeeper outfit look sexy...who cares what his friends say...although the B.A. Bearakus joke made me laugh...

And for those of you that will remind me that I will be in Los Angeles in March, I will kindly remind you that I will probably be working a bit too hard to do much of anything. Besides, in a city that's well over 3 million in population...the odds aren't in my favor...then again, if we did meet I would probably be a bit tongue tied...come on...look at him....wouldn't you be tongue tied if he smiled at you...