Friday, July 29, 2005


They have all of these gay-to-straight conversion/deprogramming/whatever camps and clinics all over the country.

But what about the straight-to-gay clinics? Or is that your local bath house? :)

I'm evil I know, but I wonder about these things...

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Kindred spirits

This week I began exchanging emails with a friend of mine who lives in the South as he is most likely coming to NYC this winter.

He is what I term a “flirty friend” as there is a certain degree of mutual attraction, however, knowing the distance between us and how much we love our respective cities, any hope for a relationship is rather nil. When I firts met him, he was much more attractive in person than some of the pics I had seen had led me to believe. Not just in the physical sense but the emotional and spiritual side as well. He's one of those people that you meet who you just know are inherently “good” and someone you want to be around. Well despite my best flirting and a few other factors, he wound up sorta hooking up with someone else but ultimately not going through with the full deed for a multitude of reasons for which you have to totally repect him for (remember the whole “good” thing)...

Anyway, when he mentioned coming up to NYC I happened to male note of the fact that he did not mention the really hot guy he was dating during one of our prior conversations. Of course then I feared that I had overstepped a sdmall line that friends should not cross and made a joke about changing the subject to kumquats (naturally).

Thankfully being the good guy that he is, he didn't feel I was prying (or he would have told me I was) and explained his current “single” situation which happens to mirror, in some ways, my former situation with SuitMan. He also expressed a general dislike for kumquats, which, being a friend, I can overlook, and I then suggested cherries as an alternative.

He wrote back with “Love cherries and you ;-D” which of course I took in the platonic love sense. But probably the most interesting part came when he saidf that he and I were “kindred spirits” as we both share a lot of the same qualities. Prepared to be shocked folks because for the first time EVER, I didn't try to read a hidden message in what was said.

My response was pretty much, “Sigh...if we only lived in the same city huh???”

The truth of the matter is I do sometimes wonder if it would be different between us if he was living here...or me down there. I do think that he and I could make an amazing couple not onlu because of the unconditional support we offer each other but also because we've seen each other give it to others on a regular basis. But, I also know that our distance situation is not going to change any time soon and I respect that.

I guess the best part of it all is knowing that, at the very least, I personally know who my kindred spirit is and that, at the very least, we're here for each other in the best way that we possibly can with no expectations or constraints on our relationship.

And just knowing that is kinda nice...

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

A tiny little prick

A few years ago I learned that I have Diabetes II (the adult onset variety).

At first I was able to control it very well with diet and exercise. My blood sugar numbers dropped dramatically and everything was looking great. Then my body rebelled and my numbers slowly started going back up. Since diet and exercise wasn't going to work I was going to have to go on medication.

At first it was Avandamet which is a combination of two meds commonly given to treat Diabetes II. Since that's no longer being prescribed, I now have to take the glucophage metaformin and the Avandia. Also...I was going to have to start testing my blood sugar twice a day.

Sadly, I was never very good about taking my meds on a regular basis or even testing my blood sugar. I know, I know....BAD diabetic...BAD BAD diabetic.

But now I'm finally (after almost 18 months) back on the right track and doing the right thing. After all, I do not need to lose a toe or my eyesight to this. But it's getting VERY discouraging since NOTHING I seem to do short of starving myself and eating nothing is getting my blood levels lower.

Last night I had a salad for dinner along with a couple of nectarines (I've taken to a vegetarian kick as of late). When I tested my blood sugar this morning it was at 154 (and anything under 120 is considered to be "good"). To make it more frustrating, I've gone on the super healthy eating kick to get my blood sugar under better control but it doesn't seem to be working.

So now I'm eliminating sodas from my diet to see if that has any impact. And mind you, I only drink diet soda as it is so if it turns out that is what is going to bring my blood sugar down. It will definitely make me scratch my head because outside of Nutra-Sweet (or Splenda in the case of some diet sodas) there's no sugar in them. I'm also going to go back to doing a food journal to see if I can track back to my blood sugar numbers and see if there's something I'm eating that I shouldn't.

The next step, of course, is in adjusting the meds so that they work better for me but I have three months before that will happen because I've been the bad diabetic for almost two years. I have to prove that I need a higher dosage before they will do anything. I think having the food journal as well will keep me a bit more honest in how I eat and what I eat since I can't prove that the meds aren't high enough any other way.

It's either that or starve myself to get my sugar down but that's not acceptable either.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Date? Not a date?

How do you know if you're going on a date or if it's just two friends who haven't seen each other in a long time getting together for dinner and a movie?

And if you question why that line is blurry to me you have a lot to learn....

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Me, Bree, and Sex With Men

I knew there was a reason why I resonated with Bree from Desperate Housewives and it was in the line from tonight's episode:

I love sex. I love everything about it: the sensations, the smells. I especially love the feel of a man. All that muscle and sinew pressed against my body. And then when you add friction. MMMmmmm. The tactile sensation of running my tongue over a man's nipple ever so gently. And then there's the act itself; two bodies becoming one in that final eruption of pleasure. To be honest, the only thing I don't like about sex is the scrotum. I mean obviously it has its practical applications but I'm just not a fan.

And it's not that I disagree with her on the scrotum but having seen a few that have made me wonder...I do understand.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Things I Hate Vol. 1

I hate it when I see a really hot ass on a guy and proceed to stalk it for as long as I can before I have to veer off in another direction only to find out that the guy's face isn't so hot...

...Or the ass belongs to a guy on the floor that I'm working on this week...

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Friday, July 08, 2005


I'm convinced that men gossip more than women.

I know you don't want all of the details but I think more people should think twice about telling their latest bedroom escapades in the company bathroom. Especially a company bathroom with floor to ceiling stall walls and doors so you can't tell if anyone is in there.

So to that guy that had a lot of fun last night with the married woman...bravo! (At least I think she's married you were leaving before you got to the good stuff...)

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Wednesday, July 06, 2005


It's going to be very interesting at work today since Paris just lost their 2012 Olympic bid (for the uninitiated, I work at a French bank).

I wonder if they will be bitter, sad, or even both.

I'm voting both...although I think a large part is due to the fact that they (as well as myself) bought into their hype as being the wire-to-wire favorite. I'm dying to see the final vote tally to see how close it was at the end...

I'm predicting a three vote margin of victory....

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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

So I had a date...

Again not gonna give real names, but we can call him Nurse since that is his occupation. You know, I fear more and more that I am morphing into Karen Walker from Will & Grace with her constant references to Driver and Pharmacist (and Back-Up Pharmacist)...

Anyway...we had dinner (after two aborted attempts due to places being closed for the Fourth or just not found) and had some great conversations sprinkled with gentle teasing. My favorite (although for some it's not so funny) was his response to my question as to why he shouldn't have his watermelon margarita -- “Well I haven't had a drink in a long time...”

“Why?” I asked.

“We'll I'm an alcoholic.”

As I was digesting that tidbit of information and wondering what if anything I was going to say, Nurse smiled and said, “I'm joking! And to think you were going to let me drink alcohol after saying that...”

Like I also said, we went to see Crash which again I can't urge you enough to go see. We both got caught up in the same parts and figured out a few of the twists (although not the twists to some of the twists) and both agreed that we HAD to get it on DVD and pray that there will be an extended director's cut.

After the movie he got invited down by friends to a bar where Latin porn stars were having a wet underwear contest. Sadly as I had to be at work at the crack of ass I had to decline the invite...

All in all not a bad date and a good time was had by all but I'm not gonna wait for the cell phone to ring and have it be him. I am, after all, still a little cynical.

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Monday, July 04, 2005


I just saw the movie Crash and I haven't been THIS moved by a movie or more compelled to tell people to go see it since I saw Thelma and Louise when it first came out back in 1991.

Emotional roller coaster isn't even the beginning words I would use to describe this one...utterly fucking amazing, however, ARE the beginning words. The casting was entirely perfect for this film and while some parts of the plot made a few future events predictable when you got to the predictable parts there was always something to give it that extra added punch that said “you might have thought this was coming but you were wrong...”

Most importantly though it dealt VERY frankly with race relations in this country and how we treat each other whether directly or indirectly. It was more than a little sobering to see it played out on a big screen and as much as I would like to believe that 90+ percent of our country isn't like some of the portrayals I saw tonight, I pretty much know that I would be wrong.

I hope Paul Higgis (and if the directors name is wrong I'll correct it later as I'm writing this on the subway ride home) puts out a four hour director's cut of this film so we can see everything that he had to leave on the cutting room floor...

P.S. Despite the fact that this can't really be called a “date” movie, I did in fact have a first date to see this film...I'll tell more tomorrow...

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