Sure Beats Soap On A Rope

Now why can't my family give me this for Christmas...this so would have made US Airways losing my luggage a lot easier to deal with if I had a porn loaded Zune...

Here's what cracks me up...Mom watched it long enough to know that it was an hour and forty four minutes of porn (one big gay orgy)...I think after watching it for that long you should be able to say, "Okay honey, now that's a rim job...he has excellent technique...better than this other guy...see how he just seems to suck on the hole...oh he's felching...that's why...that explains so much..."

They'll Make You Happy

I saw this on the subway platform. Had to take a picture. Had to post.

We're your Pea Girls....we'll make you happy....

Home Again, Home Again....

I'm home.

Wish my luggage was.

Will tell more about Operation Mother Surprise later......

Thou Shalt Not

Thou shalt not cruise the cute men at your sister's church located in the backwoods of Florida.

Thou shalt not wonder if they male choir member who is trying to look a little too angelic while singing is secretly a bottom who loves taking it up the ass from the choir director.

Thou shalt not want to lick the nipples of the father of your nephew's "girlfriend."

My Xmas Gift To You

I've seen some amazing Rube Goldberg machines in the past but when you find out what the payoff is at the end, well it makes you realize you could get the same result in your own home in about half the time.

They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

I am sore.

I am incredibly sore.

I want someone to put me out of my misery.

The workout I had last night was so insane and intense that I think my arms are just being held on by the thinnest of strings. Intense bicep work right into an even more intense shoulder workout. We closed out with calves and abs and I really didn't think that I had done THAT intense of an ab session until I got onto the elliptical for a low-resistance/high intensity 20-minute run and they started to BURN....

The funniest part of the workout came when my trainer jokingly said he would sit on the pole on the calves machine that holds the plates,

"Ouch, that's gonna hurt no matter which way you sit on it."

Without missing a beat he said, "My butt is an exit hole only." We both cracked up and lost it even more when he said, "That's some funny shit..."

I was supposed to get up this mornign and go to yoga or even just simple cardio. Last night I knew that wasn't going to work and sent my bud a text message that said, pretty much, "No way in hell."

That extra hour of sleep helped but I think 2 Tylenol is going to be more effective.

A Gift That Keeps on Giving....

Ah what to say about this. If someone actually gave this to me I wouldn't know whether to thank them or be scared of them. I'm kinda voting scared. I mean where would I put this in my apartment??? To get an idea of what I am talking about, just click on the picture as it's supposed to be an animated GIF file. It's moderately disturbing.